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Thread: This is not a lobe song page 2

  1. #11
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    Primal Fuel
    Quote Originally Posted by Zach View Post
    Thanks for the PM, i wish you tons of luck with this and will be sure to check in.

    I dont think you should measure yourself daily in any way. Once a week is plenty since you really cant gain or loss all that much in a day and checking daily will just fuel your ED tendencies. You should also really take weekly picture so if you feel that your all fat again (like yoga class) you can refer to the pics. You could also post them so unbiased people could offer their opinion.

    Secondly, dont eat a food you dont like. At the very least, never force down a food that will make you not enjoy the meal. Switch the potatoes out for rice if that would make you happier. Billions of asians eat it at every meal. Yes its not as nutrient dense but you will be fine.

    Keep at it, this stuff really does take time. 2 weeks to a month will not be long enough to fully heal. Keep track of times you feel the best and worst and keep tweaking your diet to feel better. Timing, macro ratios, fluid intake, etc all effect how you will feel at certain times and it takes awhile to get that in thne with your body to know what it really wants. You dont always have to eat a balanced meal, if sometimes you feel like a big mono meal of lamb or nectarines, go for it. Dont limit yourself in any way to what you think you are supposed to do, learn to go by what your body feels is right at that moment. Think of the nutrition you get in a week, not every meal or every day.
    Cheers for all the advice Zach! You're right - I should really ditch the measuring tape... it doesn't help. I'm just scared that the weight is going to creep on to me. I found a way I can enjoy potatoes - drowned in coconut milk and salt They taste pretty good. I'm reluctant to eat as much rice as I want as it's one of those foods I feel a bit addicted to, and I don't really want to lean on it too heavily while I'm doing this exercise in madness...

    Thanks for the support

    Quote Originally Posted by little vase View Post
    "Nobody reads these things anyway, do they?"

    Apparently they do I'm subscribing to yours and will be a reader and usually silent cheerleader for you.

    Where are the wrinkles you mentioned, on your face? Coconut oil is a great night time moisturizer for your face. I'm doing salt baths followed by cold showers every day (yep every day) and the difference in my skin (along with the brushing) is amazing so far. I kind of can't believe it.

    This - How to Eliminate Cellulite Forever - InfoBarrel - Step 2. That's my salt bath and cold shower. I follow it with coconut oil everywhere!
    Aw, thanks LV

    Yeah, the wrinkles are on my face. They literally started forming overnight after I started using OCM. It really damaged my skin, so I'm wary of using Coconut oil on my face... I'm doing facial brushing (in addition to body brushing), salt baths (only once a week) and taking alfalfa supplements. I'm also looking into copper peptides. You're right about the cold showers though - I'll have to add that in

    Are you noticing a difference on just your body or your face too? I don't know if it's the salt baths or the brushing, or that I've put on weight, but I used to have some lines on my chest and I noticed today that they've completely vanished! Though I'm assuming it's the weight gain...
    Last edited by YogaBare; 09-25-2013 at 04:10 PM.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  2. #12
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    E.M.T.W.L
    Entry Three

    Sleep - Six hours last night. Unsurprising... but still annoying. That's only 10 hours over two nights. I'm going to bed at 9pm tonight...!

    On the upside, as I was drifting off my feet and hands were like little irons: reputed to be a sign that the metabolic rate is picking up! I've been having really vivid dreams since I started this overeating campaign too. Ray Peat says that's a low blood sugar thing, but that doesn't make sense to me. I'm eating piles of carbs right now.

    Exercise:
    Even though I woke up with plenty of energy, when I went out to do my sprints I failed miserably. I jogged to the park, but only managed two thirds of my first sprint before my legs started to give way. It was really weird. I managed to do a second sprint, but after that I was finished. Not tired - just felt like I was totally unfit... as if I was grossly overweight and it was my first time running.

    I don't know if this is cos' I was reading Matt Stone's book last night, and he emphasises not doing any physical activity. I can be very impressionable... Or maybe I'm genuinely tired? Or it's still the impact of the bottle of wine from Sat night? I don't know, but today I was ravenous. (That often happens when I'm underslept).

    Food:
    I've decided to do the calorie counting. It's easier, and that way I can keep track of my nutrients. Today's cals came in quite a lot higher than I've been planning... 4464cals...fat:212, carbs: 507.6, protein: 180.3.

    Ground beef, curshed tomatoes, Coconut oil, Coconut cream, Coconut water, eggs, avocado (which I'm afraid of now, thanks to Ray Peat..! But I had a some lying around that needed to be eated), bananas, mangoes, honey, white potatoes, seaweed, mustard, a few tea spoons of sugar, raspberries.

    Should I be putting a limit to how much I eat? That just seems so excessive.

    I got two unusual cravings just before lunch: for mustard, and seaweed. I never eat or crave either of these. THe iodine in seaweed stimulates the thyroid, but I didn't know anything about mustard, so I looked it up and found out that mustard speeds up your metabolism.

    I wonder if I'm craving foods that rev your metabolism because my metabolic rate is rising? If "we are what we eat", maybe we also eat what we are?

    Saying that, I was also getting cravings for crap. I kept thinking about cookies, Kitkats, easter eggs... Matt Stone would say to give in to those cravings but tbh I just can't face the thought of how shit those foods make me feel. The honeymoon is over with them, and I know that I'm just craving them because my body wants a specific nutrient. I ate three mangoes after lunch, and then three bananas with honey. The cravings didn't go, even though I felt so full I wanted to puke. Not until much later, when I ate coconut cream with raspberries. Maybe it was the coconut I needed? Or the feeling of something sweet and creamy?
    -------

    And at the end of the day:

    I actually feel like today has been a "binge" day. I've had that binging mentality, even though I didn't actually eat any junk foods.

    Contrary to the focused direction of this journal, the quote at the top is more apt to how I'm feeling right now. I'm doubting if I'm doing the right thing. Feels like it doesn't matter what road I take - I always end up in the same place. Am I just using this "experiment" to justify my addiction?

    (I know the quote is slightly different, but whatever )
    Last edited by YogaBare; 03-23-2013 at 01:31 PM.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

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    Hi Yoga Bare,
    I noticed that you did not feel satisfied until you had some fat in the form of coconut cream. Perhaps this is something to look at for yourself.
    The end of your post sounded like you are quite low today. Chin up and keep smiling. It helps me to keep going back to the basics when I feel like that.
    I think it was SB hikes that said eat
    protein and veg/salad for breakfast ,
    protein and veg/salad for lunch
    protein and veg/salad for dinner with a carb if you feel like it.
    This is what I return to when I get myself confused with the direction I am heading.
    good luck

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by jacmac View Post
    Hi Yoga Bare,
    I noticed that you did not feel satisfied until you had some fat in the form of coconut cream. Perhaps this is something to look at for yourself.
    The end of your post sounded like you are quite low today. Chin up and keep smiling. It helps me to keep going back to the basics when I feel like that.
    I think it was SB hikes that said eat
    protein and veg/salad for breakfast ,
    protein and veg/salad for lunch
    protein and veg/salad for dinner with a carb if you feel like it.
    This is what I return to when I get myself confused with the direction I am heading.
    good luck
    Hi jacmac, I think you're right about the coconut - it's actually one of the only sources of fat that I find satisfying. In general I'm not avoiding carbs or fat though.

    Thanks for the support. I appreciate it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cierra View Post
    Your post did seem a bit negative on yourself! Youve got to look at the bigger picture and try not to micromanage, I think. Maybe you needed a lot of calories then, but later (tomorrow, maybe even some time next week) you won't be as hungry. Who knows? Dont beat yourself up, and just try to think of the benefits. I've been feeling a little binge-y lately too, and have been consuming Way too many coconut products... But maybe some day I'll need the energy, or maybe the healthy coconut fats are preventing a zit from popping up as I type this! Ya never know. ohh, and I got my dry scrubby brush today! I'm gonna use it tonight before a shower and see how it goes. Do you use any oils? I bought some vit E oil a while ago but it broke my skin out disgustingly... So I'm a little apprehensive of pure oils on my sensitive skin.
    Another tiny piece of advice I have, is that if you've got energy but don't wanna work out, maybe try using it in a different way, like creating art. I've probably said this to you before, but when my energy levels are high and I'm stuck in the house, I can produce some satisfying art pieces or do some madwoman house organizing! Best of luck, and just recognize that you're doing good for yourself just by bein conscious of your actions.
    Hey Cierra, Thanks for the encouragement I think you're right... I'm trying to remind myself that doing this with junk food in Dec / Jan has pretty much killed my desire to eat it (I still get cravings, but I know it's not worth it). I'm hoping that something similar will happen with this, but i've got to be patient.

    Great about the brush! Did you make sure teh bristles are natural? It's for dry brushing, so you do it on totally dry skin. The only oil I use on my skin is coconut oil... it's amazing! Have had bad experiences putting other oils on my face

    You're right about channelling energy... Good to be reminded At the moment I'm trying not to get too caught up in my emotions, and to recognise that they are just energy in motion, and that they will pass, if I don't ruminate.

    Rumination is my forté though
    Last edited by YogaBare; 09-25-2013 at 04:11 PM.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  5. #15
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    E.M.T.W.L
    Entry Four

    Well, the inevitable weight gain has begun and my energy is lower. I seem to be peeing all the time and... when I woke up this morning a few of the lines on my face were deeper. I'm NOT imagining this... and it freaked me out, because in January I experienced a period where I started to age rapidly. At the time I thought it was cos' of using the Oil Cleansing Method. However, I did some research this morning, and now I'm thinking it's cos' of over-eating.

    A few things I read:

    http://www.heartspring.net/alkaline_water_health.html

    http://altmedangel.com/gutbrain.htm

    http://drmyhill.co.uk/wiki/Hypochlor...ts_of_problems

    In a nutshell, I'm doubting if I'm doing the right thing.

    I've suspected low stomach acid for a while, so I'm going to add a dose of ACV to my daily regime of brushing and supplementation.

    Sleep:
    Fitful and filled with awkward dreams. I experienced horrible night sweats, tossed and turned, and kept waking up. I got up to pee at 6.30, then went back to sleep until 10.30! Got close to 11 hours, but it wasn't restful: it was sour, and I woke up feeling exhausted. I'm pretty sure it's because I ate so much yesterday: that kind of sleep was not unusual after a binge.

    Exercise :
    Nada. I had meetings so I was out and about, but felt no compulsion to swim or anything.

    Food:
    Totals 2707cals, 81.2 Fat, 420.1 Carbs, 84.0 Protein.

    It's actually a bit higher - I didn't count milk in my coffees and I'm sure there were other things... I"m not being militant. Potatoes, coconut cream, raspberries, bananas, omelet with cheese and mushroom, wild salmon, salad. I feel stuffed - I don't know how I managed to eat so much yesterday.

    Just realised that my coconut cream has about six extra ingredients added to it..... Nooooooooo! It's the yummiest one I've had so far. Figures!
    -----------

    And at the end of the day:

    As I said to Cierra "I'm trying to remind myself that doing this with junk food in Dec / Jan has pretty much killed my desire to eat it (I still get cravings, but I know it's not worth it). I'm hoping that something similar will happen with this, but i've got to be patient".

    As a positive: my tolerance to high volumes of starch has improved! After being VLC rice or potatoes would make me feel super tired. Today I ate a huge pile of potatoes (with coconut cream.... mmmm ) and they gave me nothing but good energy - happy days!

    Last edited by YogaBare; 03-23-2013 at 01:33 PM.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by YogaBare View Post
    Aw, thanks LV

    Yeah, the wrinkles are on my face. They literally started forming overnight after I started using OCM. It really damaged my skin, so I'm wary of using Coconut oil on my face... I'm doing facial brushing (in addition to body brushing), salt baths (only once a week) and taking alfalfa supplements. I'm also looking into copper peptides. You're right about the cold showers though - I'll have to add that in

    Are you noticing a difference on just your body or your face too? I don't know if it's the salt baths or the brushing, or that I've put on weight, but I used to have some lines on my chest and I noticed today that they've completely vanished! Though I'm assuming it's the weight gain...
    Yes! I've noticed the same exact thing, and I'm losing, not gaining. So it's the brushing and/or the salt baths? I would say more of an "and" than an "or" I think for me it's some combination of cold showers, hot salt baths, coconut oil, and skin brushing. I wish I knew exactly, all of this experimenting and wondering is maddening, right? But I too lost a few lines I had on my chest. So now I feel like I have to keep doing everything. Oh plus I am also taking alfalfa and msm.....more ingredients added to the stew!

    I make the salt bath water as hot as possible, and lie stomach down, so my thighs are in the water, and also my stomach, boobs, chest, stomach, and upper arms. I listen to a podcast and try to stay in the water for at least half an hour. Then a cold shower. So far my skin seems to really love it. I can't wait till summer so I can go soak in the ocean instead of my tub!

    I was thinking of facial brushing as well, I would love to hear your thoughts about it and whether or not you're seeing any results!

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by little vase View Post
    I make the salt bath water as hot as possible, and lie stomach down, so my thighs are in the water, and also my stomach, boobs, chest, stomach, and upper arms. I listen to a podcast and try to stay in the water for at least half an hour. Then a cold shower. So far my skin seems to really love it. I can't wait till summer so I can go soak in the ocean instead of my tub!

    I was thinking of facial brushing as well, I would love to hear your thoughts about it and whether or not you're seeing any results!
    Lucky you - It's my dream to live by the sea! Right now I live in London...! Do you immerse your face in the water too? Also, how long have you been doing it? Was there a "getting worse before getting better" stage?

    I love the facial brushing! THe most instant result I had was that my lips (which have been perpetually chapped since I was 10) instantly plumped up and are no longer chapping! I've spent a small fortune on lip balm over the last 20 years - it's incredible that this may have been a circulatory problem all along. Haven't noticed much other than that, but it's only been two weeks or so. I'll keep you posted

    Btw - great avatar
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  8. #18
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    E.M.T.W.L
    Entry Five: Peace with Food

    I think I've been doing this in earnest for over a week now. Today was a good day. I ate when I was hungry, and I ate as much as I wanted. It's so liberating to plate what I want, and not feel guilty about every morsel I put into my mouth.

    I have a friend who also has an ED. We speak about our relationship with food, and where it stems from. She said to me one time that she wants "Peace with food", the phrase really moved me, because that's what I want too. I just want to be able to eat without worrying what's going to happen, eat without binging, eat until I'm full and be able to leave food on my plate if I don't want it. My obsession with food and my weight has clouded so much of my life. I know it's served a function and that's why I've held on to it, but I'm ready to let go and let something new into my life instead of it. I want to change.

    Sleep - Only six hours again last night, but I think it's cos' I went to bed late (1am). I think going to bed early is key for me - I'm programmed to wake early after all these years of chronic insomnia. No night sweats, thankfully, and the sleep was pretty good.

    Exercise - Half an hour of yoga, a bit of skipping, and about an hour of walking and biking. Again, didn't really feel like doing much else.

    Food: - I've decided just to copy and paste my food trackers from now on. They're there anyway, and maybe someone might find them interesting.

    3594 cals : 214.3 (F), 305.9 (C), 129.7 (P).

    Egg, whole, fried 3 medium
    228 18 1 16
    Beets, cooked 50 grams
    31 1 5 1
    Mussels,prawns, calamari 500 grams
    751 41 22 69
    White potato 7 small (1-3/4" to 2-1/4" dia, raw)
    906 21 169 14
    Carrots, raw 2.5 medium
    63 0 15 1
    Olive oil 9 tablespoon
    1074 122 0 0
    Crab, canned, princes 55 grams
    40 0 1 9
    Banana, raw 2 medium (7" to 7-7/8" long)
    210 1 54 3
    Orange, raw 1 medium (2-5/8" dia)
    62 0 15 1
    Spinach, cooked 1.5 cup
    117 7 11 8
    Milk, 2% fat 0.8 cup
    98 4 9 6
    Sugar, raw 1 teaspoon
    15 0 4 0

    It sounds like a lot, but t didn't feel like too much food. The olive oil sent the calories up.

    To conclude - I'm still peeing like a racehorse, and I've noticed that I'm bruising more easily, but I'm starting to think it's the Alfalfa supplement. I googled it and it's actually meant to increase urine flow, and one of its side effects is bruising more easily. Maybe this is why I'm so thirsty atm as well.

    As a sign off, I did have a moment of sadness earlier that I'm probably never going to be stick thin again. It sounds bad, but I love the feeling of my hip bones jutting out. I love being able to wear anything. I love how being that thin makes me feel vulnerable and powerful at the same time. Anything more than 112 lbs and I just feel big. I spend most of my time hovering around 123 lbs (18 - 19% bf) feeling fat. Crazy that right now I'm weighing 10 lbs more than that and not feeling much different! It says a lot really.

    Last edited by YogaBare; 03-23-2013 at 01:07 AM.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  9. #19
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    E.M.T.W.L

    Entry Six
    : Love is the way.

    Continuing this journey into the unknown, I know I shouldn't be, but I've been measuring myself every day. And today, everything was actually down a bit. Weird. Considering I've overshot the 3K goal pretty much every day. It's probably just water weight though... I'll see what the scale says tomorrow. It'll be a week since my last weigh-in.

    Sleep:
    Another crap night's sleep. Think I drifted off around 11.30, and woke up at 4! Tossed and turned til nearly 6, then got up. More night sweats. Not as bad as previously, but I felt really chilly when I got up.

    The funny thing is that, in spite of eating 3.5K cals yest, I was a little bit hungry going to sleep.

    Sleep and food are strongly interlinked for me. If I'm remotely hungry I sleep badly. And every time I sleep badly, I'm ravenous, which usually descends into a binge. Not today however... I ate a lot, but I eat a lot every day now - ha I think that's the reason I didn't binge - I knew I could just have what I wanted, when I wanted. Also tried to do something relaxing for myself instead of banging my head against a wall trying to work - went for acupuncture

    Exercise:
    Biked across East London - one hour.

    Food:

    CALS - FAT(g)- CARBS(g)- PROT(g)
    3326 - 114.8- 412.2- 147.0

    White potato
    311 7 58 5
    Banana, raw 5 medium (7" to 7-7/8" long)
    525 2 135 6
    Raspberries, frozen 140 grams
    144 0 37 1
    Rice, white, cooked, regular 2 cup, cooked
    407 1 88 8
    Olive oil 5 tablespoon
    597 68 0 0
    Beets, cooked 40 grams
    25 1 4 1
    Crab, canned, 55 grams
    40 0 1 9
    Nixe Salmon, canned 180 grams
    234 10 0 37
    Milk, 2% fat 0.8 cup
    98 4 9 6
    Coconut water (liquid from coconuts) 4 cup
    182 2 36 7
    Game meat, deer, ground, cooked, pan-broiled (a.k.a. Venison) 250 grams
    468 21 0 66
    Margarita 1 cocktail
    168 0 11 0
    Honey 2 tablespoon
    128 0 35 0

    I was ravenous today. Before I even left the house this morning I had raspberries, three bananas and a potato. After cycling for a very short time, I started to get hunger pangs. I had to have lunch at 11.30, and I was really craving... fat! I basically had a BS crash, which I haven't had in ages. It was way too many carbs, and not balanced enough for first thing in the day.

    I'm going to cut back on the Alfalfa supplement from six pills to two. I didn't realise it stimulates thyroid, and acts as a natural laxative and diuretic. I don't want the effects of what I'm doing to be overly influenced by supplements.

    Tired and in bed late.... zzzzzzzz
    Last edited by YogaBare; 03-22-2013 at 04:22 PM.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cierra View Post
    thanks for the link, I used to go to that site a lot when I was failing at ED recovery/just barely beginning to recover. It helped me to get over the initial intense fear of just blowing up like a balloon the instant I ate something that my brain didn't approve of, for whatever insignificant reason. Maybe I'll read some things on there again, as a reminder since I am not really doing so many self love exercises anymore. I am really thankful to be able to communicate with someone like you, who I can relate to on so many different levels. You don't know how comforting it is! But it's sad at the same time. I honestly don't want anyone to feel exactly as I did when I was so thin: so powerful and so vulnerable at the same time. Weak and beautiful, in perfect control with superhuman willpower (so it seemed.) I share those emotions with you, but I also want to remind you of all the things that are better now. I don't know how far down the rabbit hole you fell, but I was pretty far gone into the disorder and felt the consequences of it daily, and nightly. I was literally insane from malnutrition. I must say, if I had to consciously choose between being rail thin or my sanity, my mental health would win every time! As would the return of my libido, regular sleeping habits, fertility, fullness/strength of my hair, and the wittiness/uniqueness of my personality. I hope you can embrace your new found health and liveliness and agree that it is a fair (if not, amazing) trade-off to what your life used to be. Hugs, and here's to the rest of your week going smoothly!


    Oh, P.S. the dry brushing is amazing. I've only been at it a few days but WOW my boyfriend was absolutely amazed that my notorious "vampire's touch" was cured. For the first time in my life, my hands and feet are the same temperature as the rest of my body, thank you so much for the suggestion!
    Hey Cierra, thanks for the thanks! It's great to communicate with you too. Tbh my rabbit hole looks pretty different to yours. I'm mostly a binge eater, with periods of bulimia and anorexia. Quite a few times I've restricted severely and become very underweight and have had all the comments from family & friends, but I can only sustain periods of severe restriction during / after big changes, or when things are going smoothly in my life.

    To me, anorexia is all about control, and I'm not a controlled person. I'm a represser, and the binging and purging helps me push down my feelings. I'm completely dependent on food to make me feel good - it's like a drug to me. I've been at those points of malnutrition where I've started to lose my mind, and it's not too long before I crack and start binging again. Then its short term binge-retrict: not long enough for me to become skeletal.

    So my rabbit hole is quite different to yours. Mine is a dark place of struggling through the day trying to appear normal to people, but thinking about food all the time. Then as soon as it's night time and / or I can be alone, I binge to the point of exploding, sometimes make myself puke, usually just fall into a coma, then wake the next day filled with self loathing and suicidal thoughts. I stop socialising, dating, seeing friends, even working sometimes, when I can't get out of bed. It's the opposite side of the coin to anorexia, but both of them are death wishes imo.

    I haven't been underweight in about two years, and before going primal I had pretty maintained at 19% body fat. I was still binging and restricting, but I didn't feel out of control. I started restricting quite severely when I started Primal and dropped to 18% body fat straight away, was dropping more weight but I was starting to go crazy from teh lack of sleep and I started binging again, but worse than it had been in years. The last eight months have just been a nightmare food wise where I've oscillated between completely starving myself (pretending I was "fasting"... for 72 hours), then binging. No middle ground.

    This experiment is really out of desperation and I'm scared. I haven't been restricting at all and I feel like a fat blob... I'm eating way too much. My body is telling me I need it: I know I don't, but I'm trying to go with it. I'm just waiting for something to happen. I don't know what! Anyway... sorry for the verbal regurgitation! I feel really frustrated today, cos I don't see anything improving.

    On a completely separate note - that's brilliant about the body brushing! I'm not having much luck with the cold extremities, but it's definitely making my skin softer. If you're into essential oils btw geranium is good for circulation... And it smells divine...
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

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