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  1. #1851
    girlhk's Avatar
    girlhk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by YogaBare View Post
    Maybe some day I'll believe my thighs dont look like glaciers
    In the Ramayana, Sita's thighs/legs are described as elephant trunks and that was considered beautiful. Not saying that's what yours (or anybody's) is like, but just food for thought about our concept of body and beauty..

  2. #1852
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    Quote Originally Posted by YogaBare View Post
    He saw my disbelief and he said "You dont feel that yourself?" Even aside from the weirdness of this particular person complimenting me, getting a compliment about my body felt wrong - I'd just been looking in the mirror, hating my thighs (my abs do look good I have to say ) My self esteem about my body has gotten so bad that I cant take compliments. A few people told me I looked sexy on Saturday night, and I looked at them like they were weirdos, haha! I actually think all this knowledge about body fat, muscle mass etc has made me more critical...
    I think years of hating your body and comparing yourself to others (one of the only ways you can really hate your body, especially if you were never extremely overweight, which you were not) is why your critical. I don't understand the disbelief in regards to strangers' compliments. You've been working really diligently to improve your body composition and then can't take compliments? If all of this had been for you alone then maybe I could undersand the wierdness. But with your history I don't think you've been going through all of this body transformation for your own sake, even if you wish you were. So the other option, as I see it, is that you'll still find any way to put yourself down because subconsciously (or consciously?) you still want to. You could look like a Russian, runway, coked-out super model and you'd still find ways to beat yourself up. Am I wrong?

    P.S. Really ecstatic about your progress. Really, not just negative-Nancy-ing over here.
    Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

  3. #1853
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    First he was trying to lower your self esteem to get your money, then he was trying to compliment you to get sex. Thats a bro for ya. Dudes a jabroni.

    P.S. where are the pics of these awesome abs you got??

  4. #1854
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    Hey, I've been behind on journals--had to actually buckle down and WORK for 11.5 hours straight yesterday. It was actually nice to get that focused.

    YB and Gray--I have to say that you two are so very, very beautiful! I wish you could see just how beautiful you are!

    YB--see, the PT was totally making things up to get you to sign up for personal training sessions! And, oh, I hope you get the job! <3

  5. #1855
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlhk View Post
    I feel like slacking off all the time! The me a few years ago would have been beating myself up.. I used to run long distance and practice yoga daily. It's a distant memory now. Now if I manage yoga once a week it's a good week (too hard with the kiddo).

    Now when I don't feel like exercising, I just don't and tell myself it's okay. I figure the stress of feeling like I 'should' be exercising is probably more harmful. I also try to examine why I don't feel like exercising-- because generally when I'm full of energy I do want to swim or walk or play with my dd. Usually I haven't gotten enough sleep, dd's being difficult, stressed at work, that saps my energy.

    By the way, you sound like you're having a good time with yoga guy. The whole tone of the journal is very positive. I'm happy for you!
    Exercise is a new thing for me because I never had enough energy to be consistent. WHen I started I turned it into an eating disorder But luckily that only lasted a month, and I took Derp and Zach's advice to ease off. Now I'm finding the balance - I like working out most days, and it frustrates me when I'm tired. Mostly I'm just afraid of going back to the way I used to be, so any negative comments stem from there.

    And thank you I can't believe the mental shift that's happened actually. I had an anxious day yesterday and I really noticed it because it's been so long since I had the last one...

    Quote Originally Posted by Graycat View Post
    On the body hate front: I'm making slow progress. I still have my bad days and my good days. Sometimes I feel great in short skirt and cute platform sandals, some days I hate my body in anything. I don't know if the body hate will ever completely disappear, honestly. It all goes waaay back when the other stick thin girls were making fun of me. Looking at pictures, I realize I was never even fat to begin with, just not super skinny. Many times I wonder where those graceful beauties are now and what they are/look like, kwim?
    Then remember my mother telling me how I need to eat less, so my bones don't get to grow too large. How stupid is that? Eyeroll. (My wrist is 5 1/4" in circumferrnce).
    Then her and her uppity friends would whisper behind my back how I'm chubby and I won't be accepted in ballet class, etc.
    It's kinda sad we now as adults get to deal with the results of this and other similar compounded psychological crap that has diminished our self esteem.
    But I'm still making progress nonetheless and feeling happy about that
    Thanks for sharing all that Gray! I'm sorry that you had to go through all that.

    Your post really made me think about where my body hate comes from. I was always thin. I think it's because I was depressed from such a young age. My body became a representation of life on this earth, and I didn't want to be here. and I realise that

    Quote Originally Posted by ombat View Post
    I think years of hating your body and comparing yourself to others (one of the only ways you can really hate your body, especially if you were never extremely overweight, which you were not) is why your critical. I don't understand the disbelief in regards to strangers' compliments. You've been working really diligently to improve your body composition and then can't take compliments? If all of this had been for you alone then maybe I could undersand the wierdness. But with your history I don't think you've been going through all of this body transformation for your own sake, even if you wish you were. So the other option, as I see it, is that you'll still find any way to put yourself down because subconsciously (or consciously?) you still want to. You could look like a Russian, runway, coked-out super model and you'd still find ways to beat yourself up. Am I wrong?

    P.S. Really ecstatic about your progress. Really, not just negative-Nancy-ing over here.
    You'll probably be amazed to know how much your post (which was probably flippant) made me think! Thing is, I never have issues with people complimenting my face. I can accept that, and it makes me feel good. But I can't accept positive remarks about my body - no matter how thin I am. (Except for about my legs - I like my legs ) I find it particularly difficult to be told I'm sexy, because I spent so many years trying to hide my sexuality because of fear of unwanted male attention. Accepting my own relative attractiveness without fearing the consequences is something I'm still really working because the thought of being trapped is still omnipresent.

    Part of not accepting the compliments is because my body is still so far from what I want it to be. Getting in shape through exercise takes a lot longer than starving yourself! Alien terrain for me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zach View Post
    First he was trying to lower your self esteem to get your money, then he was trying to compliment you to get sex. Thats a bro for ya. Dudes a jabroni.

    P.S. where are the pics of these awesome abs you got??
    Ha, I had to look up what jabroni meant! Great word.

    My abs are far from awesome, but they're the most "in shape" part of me now. When I was lifting the other day my stomach was very flat, so they were protruding through my top! I'll take a pic in a few days.

    Quote Originally Posted by diene View Post
    YB and Gray--I have to say that you two are so very, very beautiful! I wish you could see just how beautiful you are!

    YB--see, the PT was totally making things up to get you to sign up for personal training sessions! And, oh, I hope you get the job! <3
    Thanks Di! x They didnt even download my CV though, so I guess I was too late and they already found someone....
    Last edited by YogaBare; 09-18-2013 at 11:07 AM.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  6. #1856
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    Internet forums are such an interesting anthropological phenomenon. People behave in ways they would never behave in real life. I find it weird how easy I would find it to be to sling mud at people, and sometimes when I'm posting I realise that I want to hurt someone. It's as though the internet releases some kind of darkness within us that we ignore for most of our daily lives: it gives it an outlet, but it's not a vent: it just encourages the cycle of that behaviour because there's something satisfying in it. It removes social conditioning, and all your left with is the person's heart and mind: good, bad, indifferent, or wildly vacillating.

    What's the longest people have been on an internet forum before, and what was the forum? I've never been one for this long. Over the years I posted in a few spiritual ones, but I got bored of them quickly because I couldnt find answers to my questions. But at MDA that I get answers to whatever I ask about! And the answers take me to new questions.

    For me, literally the worst thing in life is feeling trapped or stuck. I want to grow, develop, share, expand, learn, experience the magic that lies within us all. So when my life isnt moving forward... I find it agonisingly frustrating. That's the reason I'm here - I can see that this forum is making me transform in ways I wanted to transform for more than a decade. It's fuel for my inner journey. I don't know where it's going, but I know that in spite of all the darkness that crops up, there is a lot of light, and that for every bit of ignorance, there is wisdom and love.

    Like everything in life, you take the good with the bad; the cream with the curd, and accept responsibility for your own experience.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  7. #1857
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    I've been here for 2+ years. I started posting on a site called Punk Rock Domestics (same/similar username) in 2006. I kept posting there for at least three years, I think. I never really made friends though. Lots of other people did. I posted plenty, I just didn't connect with anyone. Eventually, I removed the site from my bookmarks and stopped visiting for a while. I stopped back in a few times and people remembered me, but I didn't really feel missed. I'm Facebook friends with some of the members who I have some relevant interests with (one woman does weight lifting & eats a paleo-style diet for her gastritis), but we don't really talk and will probably never meet.

    I've made real friends here . I am a journal addict, apparently. It really does help me sort out my head & my life. It's also an excellent time killer and I tend to have a lot of that.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  8. #1858
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    I've been here for 2+ years. I started posting on a site called Punk Rock Domestics (same/similar username) in 2006. I kept posting there for at least three years, I think. I never really made friends though. Lots of other people did. I posted plenty, I just didn't connect with anyone. Eventually, I removed the site from my bookmarks and stopped visiting for a while. I stopped back in a few times and people remembered me, but I didn't really feel missed. I'm Facebook friends with some of the members who I have some relevant interests with (one woman does weight lifting & eats a paleo-style diet for her gastritis), but we don't really talk and will probably never meet.

    I've made real friends here . I am a journal addict, apparently. It really does help me sort out my head & my life. It's also an excellent time killer and I tend to have a lot of that.
    You're reminding me that I did keep in touch with a few people from teh spiritual site. I posted there for six months, but it was five years ago and I still chat to two of the people from there occasionally.

    There's definitely a lot of nice people on this forum, and it's a great community. I'm really curious how the next few months will pan out - who'll still be posting, what will happen in our lives etc. We've already seen big changes.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  9. #1859
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    In the past couple of years, I've seen plenty of frequent posters (and people here from near the beginning in '08ish or something like that) who have vamoosed for one reason or another. Most were just "Eh, I have better things to do with my time," but some people just got caught up in their lives and stopped posting for a while. Some return from time to time. I am also curious how the forum will evolve. I really wish folks would just get along though.

    I can only remember one rage-quit and that was fairly recently.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  10. #1860
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    Yeah, even in my year here I've seen people drop off. It's weird - the longer I'm here the less I bother with new people. Not because they arent cool and interesting: but because I dont like to invest my time into people who arent going to stick around. Is that strange?! I'm kind of like that in real life too. Couldnt be bothered with the passers through - I like meaningful relationships.

    Are you referring to Paleobird leaving? I actually noticed that the forum calmed down a lot once she left. Until today that is.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

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