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  1. #1841
    YogaBare's Avatar
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    Thanks so much for the good wishes everyone! It's through a website and the company hasnt even downloaded my CV yet, so hopefully they havent already found the person...

    Had the weirdest experience today. I was lifting in the gym and, remember that PT who told me I was fat? Well he was there when I walked in today and gave no sign of recognising me, even when I said "hi". Then I was doing my squats and after a while he came over and out of the blue told me how fantastic I look.!.! He proceeded to tell me how beautiful my face was, but that my body looked great too - "Look at your abs!" he said. I was standing there with 30kg on my neck and I thought my jaw would hit the floor. I wasnt sure if I should remind him that two weeks ago he told me I needed to lose weight...

    Isnt that weird?!! From one extreme to the other...

    He saw my disbelief and he said "You dont feel that yourself?" Even aside from the weirdness of this particular person complimenting me, getting a compliment about my body felt wrong - I'd just been looking in the mirror, hating my thighs (my abs do look good I have to say ) My self esteem about my body has gotten so bad that I cant take compliments. A few people told me I looked sexy on Saturday night, and I looked at them like they were weirdos, haha! I actually think all this knowledge about body fat, muscle mass etc has made me more critical...

    But I had this realisation last week that what you fight to get, you fight to keep, and I dont want to keep fighting myself.

    Anyway:

    Exercise -
    Squats: 15kg x 15, 20kg x 14; 14.
    Deadlift: 20kg x 15, 30kg x 12; 10.
    Clean and jerk: 15kg x 12; 12; 12.
    Lunges: 20kg x 14; 14; 14.
    Walk: one hour.

    Feel amazing today! So happy and full of love The good night's sleep was amazing, but I think it's mostly down to the Progesterone... wont be coming off that again any time soon.

    Oh, also - I'm still in communication with RP! I'm asking him loads of questions, I'll give you guys the update in a few days.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nstocks View Post
    Me too! Well, I mean I woke up at 4am, then finally woke at 11:30am and has some very strange dreams. Breaking bad was a part of that, lol.

    I feel totally relaxed, frigin' dark circles are still terrible but still. Like you, I'm looking at jobs too I thought the managerial role I was recommended to look at wouldn't open up until next September, but applications start today until December. The store redesigned their site which is probably why it "closed" at the beginning of September!

    Quote Originally Posted by Graycat View Post
    Hey lovely! <3

    Sending bunch of positive vibes to you across the ocean. The "shift" you talk about, I kinda feel it too. With all the good things that have happened lately, I know it can only be a positive one
    I do feel run down(to put it mildly) for a while before I get my period too, and a change of season makes me a little sad thinking that another year has neared its end. Fall looks beautiful, though.

    I've been getting night sweats for two nights in a row, and it coincides with me taking the raw thyroid. Hmm, I need to get more serious about taking body temp and pulse.
    Yes - I wanted to ask you guys how you're getting on with the raw thyroid! What time of day are you taking it? It made me too tired taking it during the day (it lowers stress hormones and my cortisol is really high now) so I take it before bed now and that seems to be working.

    Gray, did you come up?

    I'm glad you know what I mean about the shift... how is it manifesting for you? I feel like I'm letting go of things. I realise that I made exercise kind of an eating disorder for a month or so, and now I've given up trying to control my weight and I'm just going to take advice, even though I always feel I should be punishing myself.

    Nstocks, I think you should get your ferritin checked. Also, I asked RP about the dreams and he said it's a combo of GI difficulties and low blood sugar increasing the production of serotonin and adrenaline...
    Last edited by YogaBare; 09-16-2013 at 01:21 PM.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  2. #1842
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    Nstocks is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by YogaBare View Post
    Thanks so much for the good wishes everyone! It's through a website and the company hasnt even downloaded my CV yet, so hopefully they havent already found the person...

    Had the weirdest experience today. I was lifting in the gym and, remember that PT who told me I was fat? Well he was there when I walked in today and gave no sign of recognising me, even when I said "hi". Then I was doing my squats and after a while he came over and out of the blue told me how fantastic I look.!.! He proceeded to tell me how beautiful my face was, but that my body looked great too - "Look at your abs!" he said. I was standing there with 30kg on my neck and I thought my jaw would hit the floor. I wasnt sure if I should remind him that two weeks ago he told me I needed to lose weight...

    Isnt that weird?!! From one extreme to the other...

    He saw my disbelief and he said "You dont feel that yourself?" Even aside from the weirdness of this particular person complimenting me, getting a compliment about my body just felt so wrong - considering I'd been looking in the mirror hating on my thighs (my abs do look good I have to say ) And it made me realise how bad I've gotten at taking compliements. A few people told me I looked sexy on Saturday night, and I realised that I looked at them like they were weirdos when they said it, haha! I just dont believe anything nice people say about me...

    Anyway:

    Exercise -
    Squats: 15kg x 15, 20kg x 14; 14.
    Deadlift: 20kg x 15, 30kg x 12; 10.
    Clean and jerk: 15kg x 12; 12; 12.
    Lunges: 20kg x 14; 14; 14.
    Walk: one hour.

    Feel amazing today! So happy and full of love The good night's sleep was amazing, but I think it's mostly down to the Progesterone... wont be coming off that again any time soon.

    Oh, also - I'm still in communication with RP! I'm asking him loads of questions, I'll give you guys the update in a few days.





    Yes - I wanted to ask you guys how you're getting on with the raw thyroid! What time of day are you taking it? It made me too tired taking it during the day (it lowers stress hormones and my cortisol is really high now) so I take it before bed now and that seems to be working.

    Gray, did you come up?

    I'm glad you know what I mean about the shift... how is it manifesting for you? I feel like I'm letting go of things. I realise that I made exercise kind of an eating disorder for a month or so, and now I've given up trying to control my weight and I'm just going to take advice, even though I always feel I should be punishing myself.

    Nstocks, I think you should get your ferritin checked. Also, I asked RP about the dreams and he said it's a combo of GI difficulties and low blood sugar increasing the production of serotonin and adrenaline...

    I'm so happy for you . Take those compliment in your stride, girl, I'm sure you deserve them!

    I had my ferritin checked around 3 months ago when I have bloods done (can't believe that was 3 months ago!!!)

    Ferritin – 33.6 ug/L (22.0 – 275.0)


    I've been eating late at night, it's a long habit of mine so I guess that could be true. Interesting point though, how out bodies do these things whilst we sleep.

    I'm taking my raw thyroid around 1 hour after waking, right after my first meal. Right now (8pm) I'm very cold and have been since the weather changed here in ol' England. These things are going to take time... My D3 and B3 came from iHerb today too. I'm taking these with my last meal, together which shouldn't be a problem.

  3. #1843
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    Did you ever remind him of what he said a few weeks ago?

    I think that just goes to show you how he really was just saying those things to try and get a paying customer.

  4. #1844
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    Quote Originally Posted by YogaBare View Post

    Yes - I wanted to ask you guys how you're getting on with the raw thyroid! What time of day are you taking it? It made me too tired taking it during the day (it lowers stress hormones and my cortisol is really high now) so I take it before bed now and that seems to be working.

    Gray, did you come up?

    I'm glad you know what I mean about the shift... how is it manifesting for you? I feel like I'm letting go of things. I realise that I made exercise kind of an eating disorder for a month or so, and now I've given up trying to control my weight and I'm just going to take advice, even though I always feel I should be punishing myself.
    The shift: for me it's realizing that I no longer have a BED. That's powerful stuff right there. Also realizing that I can and will never revert back to my old ways in relation to food. I dunno, I kinda feel that I have this wonderful tool, weapon in my arsenal, if you will, that I didn't have before, that will serve me for good. Letting go, yes! It's really nice.
    Also, I just completed very stressful and complicated job. Phew, it feels like a lot of weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

    Raw thyroid: I take one cap in the early evening. How in the world can you split it?? I know I should, and will get to taking body temp and pulse. I remember you wrote about that. I've just been so busy lately, not that it's a good excuse. It's not like me to do stuff half-assed, so I'm starting tomorrow.
    I haven't noticed anything different after taking it though, to answer your other question, LoL! I've been sweating at night, last couple of nights, but that could be unrelated, cause I turn off the AC at night now.

    I told you that PT was after making a sale the first time you went there, didn't I

    You look amazing, and should know it.

  5. #1845
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nstocks View Post
    I'm so happy for you . Take those compliment in your stride, girl, I'm sure you deserve them!

    I had my ferritin checked around 3 months ago when I have bloods done (can't believe that was 3 months ago!!!)

    Ferritin – 33.6 ug/L (22.0 – 275.0)

    I've been eating late at night, it's a long habit of mine so I guess that could be true. Interesting point though, how out bodies do these things whilst we sleep.

    I'm taking my raw thyroid around 1 hour after waking, right after my first meal. Right now (8pm) I'm very cold and have been since the weather changed here in ol' England. These things are going to take time... My D3 and B3 came from iHerb today too. I'm taking these with my last meal, together which shouldn't be a problem.
    thanks

    I dont think there's anything wrong with eating at night - it more depends on the food. Foods that lower blood sugar arent a good idea before bed. Peat recommended hot milk with honey

    Yes, I've been freezing too!!! Today wasnt that bad, but Saturday was painful. Have you experimented with taking it at different times of day? Are you noticing any effects after taking it?

    Quote Originally Posted by PaleoMom View Post
    Did you ever remind him of what he said a few weeks ago?

    I think that just goes to show you how he really was just saying those things to try and get a paying customer.
    I think he genuinely didnt remember who I was... I just find it so weird that someone could say two different things like that...

    Quote Originally Posted by Graycat View Post
    The shift: for me it's realizing that I no longer have a BED. That's powerful stuff right there. Also realizing that I can and will never revert back to my old ways in relation to food. I dunno, I kinda feel that I have this wonderful tool, weapon in my arsenal, if you will, that I didn't have before, that will serve me for good. Letting go, yes! It's really nice.
    Also, I just completed very stressful and complicated job. Phew, it feels like a lot of weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

    Raw thyroid: I take one cap in the early evening. How in the world can you split it?? I know I should, and will get to taking body temp and pulse. I remember you wrote about that. I've just been so busy lately, not that it's a good excuse. It's not like me to do stuff half-assed, so I'm starting tomorrow.
    I haven't noticed anything different after taking it though, to answer your other question, LoL! I've been sweating at night, last couple of nights, but that could be unrelated, cause I turn off the AC at night now.

    I told you that PT was after making a sale the first time you went there, didn't I

    You look amazing, and should know it.
    Wow. I didnt even think of not having BED as one of the changes!! It occurs to me every now and again, but for the most part it's out of my mind. It very powerful stuff, I agree with you. I'm still finding my way with the body hate, but I guess that's a longer process, but I also know I'm never going to starve myself again to be thin, or exercise compulsively. I feel like I'm shaking off all these compulsive behaviours that never served me...

    That's funny that you dont noticed anything when you take it! I definitely notice my heart rate speeding up, warmth spreading through my body, and then I get super relaxed. Plus a feeling of well-being. Amzing how different we all are.

    If you're not noticing anything then you're probably fine to take the tablet all in one. Are you getting your thyroid checked btw?

    And thank you. Maybe some day I'll believe my thighs dont look like glaciers
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  6. #1846
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    On the body hate front: I'm making slow progress. I still have my bad days and my good days. Sometimes I feel great in short skirt and cute platform sandals, some days I hate my body in anything. I don't know if the body hate will ever completely disappear, honestly. It all goes waaay back when the other stick thin girls were making fun of me. Looking at pictures, I realize I was never even fat to begin with, just not super skinny. Many times I wonder where those graceful beauties are now and what they are/look like, kwim?
    Then remember my mother telling me how I need to eat less, so my bones don't get to grow too large. How stupid is that? Eyeroll. (My wrist is 5 1/4" in circumferrnce).
    Then her and her uppity friends would whisper behind my back how I'm chubby and I won't be accepted in ballet class, etc.
    It's kinda sad we now as adults get to deal with the results of this and other similar compounded psychological crap that has diminished our self esteem.
    But I'm still making progress nonetheless and feeling happy about that

  7. #1847
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    Quote Originally Posted by diene View Post
    You can dissolve it in water and spray it on your skin (face). It's supposed to be great for your skin, as YB and ombat can attest.

    Sent from my LG-VM696 using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app
    Thanks, I'm trying this now!

  8. #1848
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    Quote Originally Posted by YogaBare View Post
    Have you had your testosterone checked? It's usually high in women with PCOS!
    My testosterone was not high at the time I had PCOS. No excess hair or anything. Probably why the prescription was for metformin.

    I assumed the problem was insulin resistance and thus began experimenting with low-carb.

  9. #1849
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    Quote Originally Posted by YogaBare View Post

    Went for a walk in the morning, but other than that, didnt exercise. Feel like I'm slacking off!!! Which is half intentional. I dont know... I kind of feel like everything is shifting within me a bit. I hope it's positive. I'm scared that my energy is going to go again and I'll get depressed. This is the longest in three months that I havent felt myself. I wonder how much the change of season has to do with it...?
    I feel like slacking off all the time! The me a few years ago would have been beating myself up.. I used to run long distance and practice yoga daily. It's a distant memory now. Now if I manage yoga once a week it's a good week (too hard with the kiddo).

    Now when I don't feel like exercising, I just don't and tell myself it's okay. I figure the stress of feeling like I 'should' be exercising is probably more harmful. I also try to examine why I don't feel like exercising-- because generally when I'm full of energy I do want to swim or walk or play with my dd. Usually I haven't gotten enough sleep, dd's being difficult, stressed at work, that saps my energy.

    By the way, you sound like you're having a good time with yoga guy. The whole tone of the journal is very positive. I'm happy for you!

  10. #1850
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    Quote Originally Posted by Graycat View Post
    On the body hate front: I'm making slow progress. I still have my bad days and my good days. Sometimes I feel great in short skirt and cute platform sandals, some days I hate my body in anything. I don't know if the body hate will ever completely disappear, honestly. It all goes waaay back when the other stick thin girls were making fun of me. Looking at pictures, I realize I was never even fat to begin with, just not super skinny. Many times I wonder where those graceful beauties are now and what they are/look like, kwim?
    Then remember my mother telling me how I need to eat less, so my bones don't get to grow too large. How stupid is that? Eyeroll. (My wrist is 5 1/4" in circumferrnce).
    Then her and her uppity friends would whisper behind my back how I'm chubby and I won't be accepted in ballet class, etc.
    It's kinda sad we now as adults get to deal with the results of this and other similar compounded psychological crap that has diminished our self esteem.
    But I'm still making progress nonetheless and feeling happy about that
    I feel you on the body hate. It's gotten better since having a kid and no longer feeling like I have to look good for anybody but myself. Also helped avoiding tabloids and too much media.

    My mother also gave me a hard time about gaining weight.. she was happy when I was under 100 lbs and no longer menstruating.

    Any progress is good! Takes a lot of strength..

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