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Thread: This is not a lobe song page 155

  1. #1541
    diene's Avatar
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    Primal Fuel
    Good info, brooke! Mimics dopamine--no wonder you're experiencing improved energy and mood on it, YB! Damn! Now I really want to try it, but I guess I'll have to wait since it also increases fertility. Don't want to have any "accidents" at this point in time...

  2. #1542
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    I think I'm about to go off Vitex after having been on it for several months. I don't feel like it's doing anything for me in terms of energy anymore, which tells me it might not be doing anything for progesterone either. If that's the case, my hormone levels should be good. I'll stop taking it when my cycle starts this weekend.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  3. #1543
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    Thanks so much for the Vitex info Brooke! That's really great stuff

    Welcome to the journal girlhk! Nice to have you here

    I feel a bit sick to my stomach.

    Just got back from meeting yoga guy again. Will fill in later
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  4. #1544
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    Noooo frowny face no!
    Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

  5. #1545
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    Quote Originally Posted by ombat View Post
    Noooo frowny face no!
    Lol. No, don't worry... what will be will be!

    So, had a day date with yoga guy today. We met after yoga, then went for lunch, and to the park. It was nice, but not quite the same as before. He was a lot more awkward than previously. I thought either 1) Maybe he just wasn't as interesting I had thought, 2) (stupidly) He was on edge because of the sexual tension between us, and wasn't sure where it was going... yeah.

    We hung out for a few hours, but it got a bit tiring, so I said I needed to get back to do some work. So he walked me home, and as we said goodbye, we hugged for ages. Then we separated and literally looked at each other for about 10 seconds. Long time! We were like a hair breath from kissing. Then... he blurts out:

    Yogaguy: I just broke up with someone a few weeks ago, and it's still going on, and I'm really confused, and I don't even know if you like me like that, but I feel there's something between us, and I just thought you should know.

    Me: Okay...

    YG: You know, we've been hanging out and stuff, and I'm not sure where you think it's going, cos' it's not normal for two people who connect like we do to just be friends and....

    Me: Okay.... well, I do feel like there's something there too.

    YG: (smiles)

    Me: So.... what do you want to do?

    YG: Nothing... I just thought you should know.

    Me: Okay... well, like I told you before... I took a long break from dating cos I kept getting into bad situations... So I'm kind of just happy to get to know you.

    YG: (mixed look on his face... doesn't seem entirely happy with this last comment). Okay, well, cool.

    (some kind of goodbye. ANother hug)

    The end.

    One thing you guys should know about me, is that if you met me in reality you probably wouldn't associate me with YogaBare. I'm so fucking relaxed on the surface people hardly believe what lies beneath.

    So, I was cool during the conversation. All I wanted to be was honest and transparent, because I really believe that if you are honest, nothing bad can happen. I feel really open and vulnerable these days, and there is an immense sense of power in that transparency. Personal power.

    And I was honest... apart from the last thing I said! Cos' technically I am happy to get to know him slowly, but I don't want to spend loads of time with someone if it's already dead in the water.

    I felt sick after the conversation, but honestly, now I do feel pretty Zen about it again. I've just realised that we control so little in life: all we can do is ride the waves in this ocean of reality, and appreciate that we don't know where we're going, or what's going to happen. There's no way of protecting ourselves; no shelter in the open sea. Once you dust yourself off and leave your safe net, you are in the great openness, the great nothingness, and the only way to thrive is to go with the flow.

    In short: don't really know what the conversation means, and I'm just going to carry on with my life and see what happens... with everything: not just romantically. A lot of things seem to be shifting for me right now. I consider it a big positive to actually have met someone I am interested in, if nothing else

    PS. All advice appreciated - particularly male.
    Last edited by YogaBare; 08-06-2013 at 08:18 PM.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  6. #1546
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    It sounds like you two are in very separate places. Even in relationships it's all about location, location, location... Obviously you both feel a connection since you said it to each other outright, but only if he gets his shit together would it work out. He seems scattered.

    You are very cool in person and I think that can make others nervous, as counter-intuitive as that sounds. But he clearly felt it important to talk to you if he continued to stare at you for 10 seconds....

    You have settled on a very mature state of mind for the meantime. You are right, whatever will be will be. You can't be completely passive to get what you want, but there is harm done in being too aggressive.
    Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

  7. #1547
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    Quote Originally Posted by ombat View Post
    It sounds like you two are in very separate places. Even in relationships it's all about location, location, location... Obviously you both feel a connection since you said it to each other outright, but only if he gets his shit together would it work out. He seems scattered.

    You are very cool in person and I think that can make others nervous, as counter-intuitive as that sounds. But he clearly felt it important to talk to you if he continued to stare at you for 10 seconds....
    Thanks Om. Yeah, I kind of gather that he doesn't want to take the opportunity, but also doesn't want to miss the opportunity. In a way, it's a weirdly diluted version of the long story with the Austrian guy. Interesting how we keep attracting similar situations.

    Thank you! And yeah, weirdly, I know that people feel a bit anxious around me. People (before they get to know me) think I'm really 'together'. I used to project that image a lot, even when it wasn't true. Now I do genuinely feel relaxed in people's company because I realised that most people have social anxiety, and that makes them less scary. I'm aware that I make people anxious but I'm not quite sure how to stop that. I've kind of relaxed about that too though: I used to bend over backwards trying to put people at ease, but you can't control how other people feel.

    You can't be completely passive to get what you want, but there is harm done in being too aggressive.
    Totally agree. I'm actually very focused and putting it out of my mind. And investing my attention into...

    HULA HOOPING!

    Trying to choose which one to buy.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  8. #1548
    diene's Avatar
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    So...it's somewhat difficult to analyze the situation without more information. But the first thing that jumped out at me was that this wasn't necessarily super negative. I mean, he clearly wants to be open and honest with you and to keep you apprised of the situation, which is always a good thing. The second thing that occurred to me is that he seems to be seeking validation from you that there is actually something romantic going on between you. ("I don't even know if you like me like that;" "I'm not sure where you think it's going.") He was happy when you said that you also felt a connection, but then the last thing you said to him was kinda ambiguous so maybe that confused him again. Maybe he wanted more validation from you that you are interested in having this progress romantically (as opposed to just being friends)? But not knowing what the interaction between you two is like and not knowing him at all, it's hard for me to further analyze this.

    I'm not sure if I've ever gone on three dates with a guy and not kissed...You said that you were a hair's breath from kissing--did you want to kiss? I'm trying to figure out if you've been sending him "don't kiss me" vibes or if he's just really timid. Or if he didn't want to make a move because he's really that confused about his ex.

    I don't know...Hopefully the guys would be able to give you more insight.

  9. #1549
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    Do you think you'd hang with him again? I'd be interested if things ease up with his confusion out in the air, at least. Maybe you should just kiss him and see what happens .
    Journal on depression/anxiety
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  10. #1550
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    Quote Originally Posted by diene View Post
    So...it's somewhat difficult to analyze the situation without more information. But the first thing that jumped out at me was that this wasn't necessarily super negative. I mean, he clearly wants to be open and honest with you and to keep you apprised of the situation, which is always a good thing. The second thing that occurred to me is that he seems to be seeking validation from you that there is actually something romantic going on between you. ("I don't even know if you like me like that;" "I'm not sure where you think it's going.") He was happy when you said that you also felt a connection, but then the last thing you said to him was kinda ambiguous so maybe that confused him again. Maybe he wanted more validation from you that you are interested in having this progress romantically (as opposed to just being friends)? But not knowing what the interaction between you two is like and not knowing him at all, it's hard for me to further analyze this.

    I'm not sure if I've ever gone on three dates with a guy and not kissed...You said that you were a hair's breath from kissing--did you want to kiss? I'm trying to figure out if you've been sending him "don't kiss me" vibes or if he's just really timid. Or if he didn't want to make a move because he's really that confused about his ex.
    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Do you think you'd hang with him again? I'd be interested if things ease up with his confusion out in the air, at least. Maybe you should just kiss him and see what happens .
    Thanks guys Yeah, I liked that he was so open with me. And he did seem to want validation, because even before "the conversation" he asked if I wanted to meet up again, and I said I was really enjoying hanging out with him, and he said he was glad. Then we had the loooooong hug. And... I definitely didn't give him a "don't kiss me vibe" We were both staring at each other with this "Will I make the move or won't I?" Then...(I left this part out), I stepped towards him and then he blurted out the stuff about the ex. (*YB hangs head in shame*)

    Yeah, I haven't been on three dates with someone and not kissed either! I thought that I needed to take it slowly, but I guess the pacing is more coming from him. I don't know if we'll hang out again. We left things kind of up in the air. Not sure if it's possible to hang out with someone when they feel conflicted about wanting to be with you?
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

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