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Thread: This is not a lobe song page 105

  1. #1041
    PaleoMom's Avatar
    PaleoMom is offline Senior Member
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    I always feel horrid from the food when I travel. Such cheap garbage! When I travel with my parents though, we go to really nice places and then I have the opposite effect and feel better than usual. Restaurants just pump everything full of vegetable oil, I think that is what really does it for me.

  2. #1042
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    really like your journal,

    oh and this is a great cover


  3. #1043
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaleoMom View Post
    I always feel horrid from the food when I travel. Such cheap garbage! When I travel with my parents though, we go to really nice places and then I have the opposite effect and feel better than usual. Restaurants just pump everything full of vegetable oil, I think that is what really does it for me.
    We were eating in pretty good restaurants, but I think in most cases they still use shitty ingredients. Factory farm beef, veg oils, low grade salt... And then there's the plane food

    Not having to cook all the time is really nice, but I'm just back in my time zone and am so happy to eat home cooked food again!

    Are you noticing anything with the DHEA yet?

    Quote Originally Posted by sauerKraut View Post
    really like your journal,

    oh and this is a great cover

    Thanks Sauerkraut, and welcome! I saw your posts on Derps journal and liked your outlook.

    That's a great cover of "Love song"! I kind of adore The Cure version, but this definitely works well.

    So is Krautland Germany or am I being really unimaginative? :d
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  4. #1044
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    Back in Ireland, and to begin this entry I'm sharing one of the most beautiful songs ever written by an Irish man. It also happens to be one of one of my favourite songs of all time. Please tell me if you like it!



    Sharing time. (Sorry in advance: this is going to be a ranty post!)

    I feel mixed up after my trip away with my family. It was actually quite taxing, and I feel like it's set my relationship with my mum back about 3 years.

    Until about two years ago, we didn't get on. I love her now, but I harboured a lot of resentment towards her which used to filter into every interaction we had. She was a very strict, aggressive mother, who used to hit us for the slightest mishap. I grew up in rigid fear of her, which turned to open rebellion in my teens, which of course made things worse. I stopped doing any school work (she was particularly militant about results), she started grounding me, and I responded by mitching school. A few times I hit her back when she hit me (yeah, she's still hit me as a teenager). Then my parents took me out of the school I loved and was really popular in, and putt me into what we call a "grind school", where school lasts from 9am-10pm, and there's no physical ed. It's all about getting results.

    Once I finished school I moved to another city and rarely came home and whenever I did we would have a blazing row. I harboured so much resentment about all the things she forced upon me in my life, and just about who she was, and it seemed like we'd never have a good relationship.

    But over the last eight years I've worked on myself a lot, and as I did that my relationship with her improved. I can understand who she is, and I can avoid confrontation with her.

    But over this holiday, I saw our new relationship in a different light. She hasn't changed: all that's happened is that I now "baby" her. I'm constantly looking out to see that she's okay; doing my duty as "the good daughter". She complains about what a victim she is, vents about her illness, drinks too much every day and says horrible things, and basically drains the life out of me. I knew all this before spending two weeks in a car with her, but what I really saw on this trip was that she's basically a bitch. I know that's a horrible thing to say about your mother, and I hate to say it, but she is. Nothing any of us do is ever good enough - and anything we do that isn't perfect is like that because we're idiots who should have known better. She's self righteous, unforgiving, and abusive. My dad jokes that she has a PhD in hindsight.

    One night I completely lost it, and stormed off. I was just sick of her making every difficult situation more painful by complaining and criticising. I was also mad with my dad and brother, but I won't go into that now - I spoke to both of them the next day and we made up. I didn't speak to her about anything. There's literally no talking to her - I tried that for years and it never worked: the only thing that helped was me figuring out how to let go of all my resentment and love her for who she was.

    Now all the resentment is back, and I keep snapping at everything she says. I see our relationship reverting back to where it was because I'm so angry with her again. I can understand now that part of the reason I have so much self hate is because she abused and criticised every single thing that we did, and I internalised this way of thinking. Fortunately these days it's mostly reserved towards my body: I don't hate other aspects of myself as much.

    Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying this in a self pitying way. We all have our crosses to bear, and I don't want to blame her. I love her and know that she did the best she could. Plus she has loads of good qualities: she's extremely generous for one thing, and she really helped me with all the health stuff I went through - she paid for all my tests and medication, so she can be a sweet heart, but that just makes me feel guilty then for not being the perfect daughter cos' I feel like I'm indebted to her. I'm sick of her Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personalities.

    Maybe I just need to take a break from her for a while.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  5. #1045
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    [[hugs]] Breaks can be helpful. For my own parental issues, I had to learn that there are just some things that I can't expect from a relationship with them. That limit makes me sad sometimes, but it makes them much easier to deal with. It's not my fault, it's just what I need to do in order to still have a relationship with them without going crazy.
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  6. #1046
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    [[hugs]] Breaks can be helpful. For my own parental issues, I had to learn that there are just some things that I can't expect from a relationship with them. That limit makes me sad sometimes, but it makes them much easier to deal with. It's not my fault, it's just what I need to do in order to still have a relationship with them without going crazy.
    Thanks for the hugs! You're totally right, and I feel the same. This holiday just showed me how superficial the "getting on" really is though. It's fine so long as I'm babying her, but once I stop doing that, things fall apart again.

    It's sad cos' it seems most parents don't realise that if they want to have good relationships with their kids they also need to compromise. My mum just didn't come from that kind of generation - she believes she children should treat their parents with total obedience and respect. Which probably most generation of parents have been like til now! Is it changing, or am I just young?
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  7. #1047
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    EDIT:

    My god - I totally forgot to mention the Ombat-YogaBare meet up!!!

    Me and Batgirl went for Mohitos and sushi. Needless to say, it was just like meeting up with an old friend, but with the slight disparity that always comes with internet meetings: you're getting to know someone you already know, for the first time!

    Anyway, the Bat is as cool in reality as she is online, and we had fun talking about the glory of MDA and making jokes about PUFA. Cool, right? We even added gelatine to our mohitos and this cracked us up endlessly. But we also talked about "real world" things, like our jobs and love lives.

    It reminded me that I've actually met quite a few people online before meeting them in real life. I've done internet dating (plenty of stories from this one), and I also meet most colleagues online first (that makes me sound very seedy...) But the only other "Internet Friend" I've met was a Nepali guy who I got to know through a spiritual blog I used to write. He lives in India, and when I was travelling there I ended up visiting him with two friends and staying in his place! He's a cool guy too.

    Anyway, has anyone else ever met an internet friend before?! Or done the internet dating thing?
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  8. #1048
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    I met Pebbles67 (from here on MDA) last year just before Thanksgiving! It was exactly as you described. My fiancÚ and I met someone from World of Warcraft when we vacationed in Seattle. We met up for drinks and food. It was fun and it seemed like everyone had a good time, but I guess she didn't like us that much because we never heard from her again! I also online-dated someone when I was 16. That was a mess. He had/has an obsession with me that lasted for many years =\.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
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  9. #1049
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    Hey, hey, sorry to hear about the problems with your mom. I have similar issues with my mom. She was super neurotic and strict when I was growing up, and she would beat me as well. I wouldn't say that I was rigidly afraid of her, but most of my early childhood memories are of being beaten. One time, I remember, I said some swear word, fuck or something, and she decided that she needed to beat me over that. Though I was quite young, I was defiant and kept repeating it just to spite her so she kept beating me. And I kept saying it. Finally, my grandma intervened and stopped her from beating me, I think.

    She was also neurotic and over-protective and would never let me go out with friends. Well, not never, but my curfews were always earlier than everyone else's. She was just crazy and thought that I would be kidnapped or something. It ended in outright rebellion too. I ran away from home when I was in the seventh grade. I think before that she hardly let me out (maybe only a few times a year). After that, we negotiated terms, and I think I was allowed to stay out till 7 pm or something. She was still ridiculously and unreasonably strict. Then when I was a senior in high school, I just completely ignored her and would go out all night or stay out for days and just not even call her. Then I went to college and was finally free of her over-controlling insanity. This is why I react so poorly to controlling men--they remind me of my mother! And make me feel like I'm a teenager again. I hate being put in a cage.

    I really don't think it's a good idea to beat your kids as a method of discipline. It just breeds resentment, and I think, when done repeatedly, it irreparably damages the relationship. But I also understand that raising me was difficult for my mom because she was a single mom and not really psychologically equipped to handle that, which is why she was so neurotic about everything. The fact that there wasn't another parent to balance her out also didn't help.

    My relationship with my mom, as you can imagine, went to hell when I was a senior in high school. She threatened to call the cops on me and everything (which is something I still can't forgive although she never actually called the cops on me--had she actually done that, I don't think I'd be speaking to her today). Our relationship improved as I got older, but I'm sure that it would go to hell again if I had to spend two whole weeks on vacation with her. I think a lot of parent-adult child relationships are difficult, and everyone kinda has to do some pretending in order to get along. It is pretty sad though.

    I love that song, by the way. It made me all teary eyed. (I was at work too!)

    It's so awesome that you guys got to hang out! I have done online dating once. It was a couple years ago when I first moved to PA. It was pretty boring. I didn't think the guy was very attractive, and before we met, he made a big deal about how he played guitar. When he played it for me though, he wasn't very good. So I don't play music, but I did date someone in college who's a very good guitar player so I can sorta tell when people suck. Haha! Anyway, I don't think I've ever met any online friends in real life though. (You can be the first one!!! )

  10. #1050
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    Quote Originally Posted by YogaBare View Post
    EDIT:

    My god - I totally forgot to mention the Ombat-YogaBare meet up!!!

    Me and Batgirl went for Mohitos and sushi. Needless to say, it was just like meeting up with an old friend, but with the slight disparity that always comes with internet meetings: you're getting to know someone you already know, for the first time!

    Anyway, the Bat is as cool in reality as she is online, and we had fun talking about the glory of MDA and making jokes about PUFA. Cool, right? We even added gelatine to our mohitos and this cracked us up endlessly. But we also talked about "real world" things, like our jobs and love lives.

    It reminded me that I've actually met quite a few people online before meeting them in real life. I've done internet dating (plenty of stories from this one), and I also meet most colleagues online first (that makes me sound very seedy...) But the only other "Internet Friend" I've met was a Nepali guy who I got to know through a spiritual blog I used to write. He lives in India, and when I was travelling there I ended up visiting him with two friends and staying in his place! He's a cool guy too.

    Anyway, has anyone else ever met an internet friend before?! Or done the internet dating thing?
    Ok, I've got to know... Who brought the envelopes of gelatin?!

    Do share some of your internet dating stories!

    I'm on pof.com... nothing interesting going on there. MDA is the first forum I've posted on.

    Even though the family part of your trip was bad, I'm so glad that you and OM had a great time!

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