Tired of yo-yoing
I'm starting this online journal as a way to hold accountability for myself and to serve as a motivational tool. I'll try to write in it daily, post encouraging quotes/pictures, and use this online space as a way to vent when I'm feeling weak.
A little about myself: I am a 25 year old female who has struggled with weight and binge-eating all my life. I started gaining weight when I was in third grade when my family moved to a new town and my previously stay at home mother started going back to work. I became a latch-key kid who ate because I was bored. I would come home from school and eat a snack while watching TV, then eat a microwaveable dinner, and then eat another dinner when my parents came home from work. I wasn't allowed to go outside if I was home alone so I just sat in front of the TV all day. Eventually, I came to view food as comfort and that's when the binge-eating started. I would gorge until I felt sick and hate myself after but I couldn't stop. At my heaviest, I was 180 lbs at 5'3 when I was about 19-20 years old. I had a lot of self loathing and had no self esteem.
Since then, I've tried all kinds of diets to lose weight and have been yo-yoing back and forth. I can't seem to stop binge-eating for more than a couple weeks and I haven't stayed at a stable weight for more than a few months. I went from 180 lbs and over the course of a year dropped down to 150 lbs. I stayed between 150-160 lbs or so for a year and then started the South Beach Diet which helped me drop down to 140 lbs. South Beach was incredibly restrictive and I couldn't maintain that lifestyle for too long. For another year, I yo-yo'd from 140 lbs - 150 lbs. Always binge-eating for a few weeks, gaining weight, then restricting myself for a few weeks. At this time my mother was diagnosed with Diabetes and knowing that I had a family history of Diabetes, I started doing research on low-glycemic diets. That led me to Primal/Paleo and through Primal eating and heavy lifting/HIIT I managed to get down to my lowest adult weight at 127 lbs and size 4 pants.
It was the first time in my life that I felt healthy and good about myself. I always thought I was apple shaped but as the fat started coming off my mid-section, I had a waist for the first time! I had an hour-glass figure and I had ab definition. I promised myself that I would maintain that weight no matter what. That was during the summer of 2012. Then, I entered into a new relationship in August and one thing my boyfriend and I loved to do was cook and eat together. He loved to bake also and we ate a lot of desserts and ice cream. I also didn't exercise as much because I would spend a lot of time with him. I started to steadily gain back the weight and from August to January I went back up to 140 lbs. We broke up mid January and since then, I've gained another 5 lbs and I am now at 145 lbs.
I want to start eating Primal again, exercise regularly, and stop the cycle of binging.
Here are my stats:
Current weight - 145 lbs / size 6-8 pants and size medium shirts
height - 5'3
Goal weight - 125 lbs / size 4 pants and size small shirts by end of May
(so I have to lose about 2 lbs a week)
Today is my third day back on the wagon! I will be eating a primal diet of 1200 calories a day and try to eat between 40 - 80g carbs a day to start. If I feel like I am plateauing then I will incorporate IF'ing and carb cycling. I am also going to eat fermented dairy like yogurt and cheese and also some fruit unless I plateau. Exercise wise, I will do hill sprints 2x a week for 30-40 mins and weight lift 2x a week.
Today I ate:
Breakfast - 8 oz of Chobani Greek non-fat yogurt with 1/2 cup of frozen wild blueberries
Lunch - baked chicken breast marinated in yogurt, garlic, cumin, paprika, olive oil, salt, and pepper with two cups of steamed broccoli, and a small side of sauerkraut
Dinner - 15 grilled jumbo shrimp marinated in garlic and olive oil, two cups of steamed broccoli
Last edited by PoppyField; 03-15-2013 at 05:29 PM.
Thought this picture chart was interesting:
I don't like soda or candy. I mostly crave and end up binging on bread, pastries, ice cream and certain fruit like mandarins. It's not unusual for me to eat 8 mandarins in one night. My particular weaknesses are croissants and bagels. Also, ice cream. I can eat half a gallon of ice cream in one go. I don't buy any of these items myself but I moved back in with my parents and they have a lot of 'trigger' foods in their kitchen.
Last edited by PoppyField; 03-16-2013 at 08:00 AM.
Reason: spelling correction
Today was an indulgent day but I stayed 95% primal (ate a few pieces of seafood tempura) and stayed under 1500 calories.
Brunch - 2 egg omelet with 2 cups broccoli, 9 pieces of leftover jumbo garlic marinated shrimp all cooked with a tbsp of olive oil and eaten with a tbsp of ketchup
Dinner - went out for a dinner to a Korean BBQ restaurant so I indulged a little but tried to stay as low carb as possible. Had lettuce wrapped bulgogi (marinated bbq'd beef) and samgyeopsal (grilled pork) with lots of vegetable sides like marinated squash and sprouts, spicy spinach, pickled radish, and a spiced herb salad. Gave in to temptation a little and had a few pieces of seafood tempura. Also had a bowl of this steamed egg custard. Really yummy!
Came home and watched a few episodes of Face Off with my friend (my favorite new show) and around 8pm I started to get my familiar usual craving to binge. For some reason, I only want to binge between 8pm to 11pm. My mind kept thinking about a bag of mandarin oranges I have in the kitchen but I made myself some chamomile tea instead and waited out the cravings. This is the fourth day that I've gone without binging and it's getting easier by the day to say 'no' to the cravings.
Didn't exercise today - but walked around the mall with a friend for a couple hours. Stopped by the lululemon store and discovered that they have a bulletin board featuring business cards, information, and deals from local yoga studios/fitness studios. A lot of these studios offer the first class free if you bring in their business card. I brought home a few that I'm excited to try out! I figure I can get some free yoga classes while I find a studio that is a good fit for me =)
Some motivational charts I found:
Photo Mar 16, 10 04 43 AM.jpgPhoto Mar 16, 10 10 30 AM.jpg
And one just for laughs!
Photo Mar 16, 10 08 26 AM.jpg
A funny blog about being gluten free that applies to us Primal eaters
When I Went Gluten Free
Brunch - 2 egg omelet with 2 cups chopped broccoli
Dinner - baked chicken breast marinated in greek yogurt, cumin, paprika, garlic, salt, pepper, and olive oil with grilled garlic shrimp on the side, sauted mushrooms, steamed broccoli, and some sriacha sauce. I love sriacha sauce! It makes everything so much yummier.
Today I went for a leisurely walk with my friend for about 2 miles. Then I went grocery shopping and even though I was tempted to buy some no-no items, I kept my self control. When I don't have bad food in the house, I don't even get cravings anymore. But I noticed at the supermarket that when the snack foods are in front of me, the cravings came roaring back. I admit I stood in front of the Cozyshack rice pudding for a good minute debating whether to get it or not lol.
Came home and premade my lunch for the next several days. Tasty, homemade, hearty lunches to get me through the work day with a lot of energy. I'll be attending a work conference a few towns over for the next week so I want to make sure I'm not tempted to eat out or eat whatever junk food they are giving out.
So far, I'm feeling really good. Late night cravings are subsiding and I have a lot more energy than when I am on the SAD diet. I remember the first time I went primal, my cravings were gone for the first two weeks than they came back for a bit before going away. I think it'll be easier the second time around because I know how my body will react. But unlike last time, I will continue to stay primal even after I reach my goal weight. I'm still upset at myself for reaching my goal weight through so much hard work and than just letting myself go again. For some reason I thought since I had gotten thin and fit, I could let myself eat pastries, bread, desserts and stay in control. But now I know that introducing even a small amount of these 'high carb' foods will send me into a tailspin by inducing major cravings for even more foods. Oh, well... I guess you live and you learn!
Some motivational things I found on the internet:
Photo Mar 16, 10 00 27 AM.jpgPhoto Mar 16, 10 07 56 AM.jpgtumblr_lzpdseBZGO1rpmajoo1_500.png
Breakfast - 8oz Fage non-fat greek yogurt
Lunch - baked chicken breast with sriacha, 6 pieces jumbo shrimp grilled with olive oil, sauted mushrooms
Dinner - chopped chicken breast mixed with some leftover bulgogi (korean marinated beef), broccoli, and a chopped hard boiled egg with sriacha
Worked a full day and then went to volunteer for a couple hours. I'm pooped.
Breakfast - 6 oz of Fage non-fat greek yogurt
Lunch - baked chicken breast with sauted mushrooms in olive oil, steamed broccoli, one hard-boiled egg, and sriacha sauce
Dinner - baked chicken breast with sauted mushrooms in olive oil, steamed cauliflower, sriacha
So, my diet this week has been pretty monotonous but I think I found a combination that works well for me in terms of satiety, value, and ease of preparation. I can make a few days worth of meals at a time and have an easy lunch to pack and an easy dinner to assemble when I get home from work. I haven't grown tired of anything yet. I think the sriacha is my saving grace. It makes everything tasty.
I think I might have to start eating more fat - maybe full fat greek yogurt and have less chicken breast and more dark meat with skin on because I've been very low energy today. I felt fine all week and then tonight when I got home from dinner, it just hit me suddenly. My arms feel extra heavy and worn out and I feel slightly light-headed. Maybe from being low-carb all week. I'm trying to remember if I felt like this the last time I was primal.
I'm feeling a little urge to eat fruit right now. If I thought I could have one piece of fruit without starting to binge, I would allow myself some frozen blueberries or a mandarin but I'm afraid that it will trigger my cravings. I have been staying away from fruit this week and I think that's why I've managed to not binge for 8 days straight.
Your food sounds so yum!!!!!!
I try and stay away from fruit as well, because I'm scared that it'll start The Cravings. Anything sweet just gets me thinking about all the things my family eats, and is so readily available in the pantry.
Last edited by Traveller; 03-20-2013 at 08:16 PM.
Thanks traveller! I'm glad someone thinks my food sounds yummy. It seems like we are both having the same issue with our out of control cravings also.
Breakfast - Fage non-fat greek yogurt with 1/2 cup of Wyman's frozen wild blueberries
Lunch - baked chicken breast, hard-boiled egg, steamed cauliflower, sauteed mushrooms in olive oil, sriacha sauce
Dinner - grilled shrimp with olive oil and garlic, two egg omelet with two cups chopped broccoli in olive oil with sriacha sauce
I weighed myself in the morning and I lost 3 lbs since the 14th. I'm pretty happy with the results considering I didn't exercise at all this week because I was so busy. My goal is to lose around 2 lbs a week so I'm on track so far!
I went to the mall and bought myself a nice outfit from Banana Republic as a tool to motivate myself. A beautiful skirt and button down blouse that is too small for me right now but will fit when I am at my goal weight. I think it will be nice to try the outfit on every couple weeks or so and see the progression of my weight loss. It will be something tangible that can show me that my body is changing.
Last edited by PoppyField; 03-20-2013 at 06:27 PM.
Reason: spelling error