Non-Primal Significant Others page

[MissJecka]

Who out there lives with at least one non-primal person? Spouse, parent(s), roommates, siblings. I think we could use a space to talk about our successes and struggles in living the way that works for us without being too pushy on others, but still want to set a good example for our friends and family!

My story:

My boyfriend of 9 years and I live together and he's seen me through thick (literally...) and thin (also literally). When we met, I was skinny-fat: a nice thin size 2 or 4 with very very little muscle. Five years later when we graduated college, I was fat-fat: size 12 or 14. Most of the first five years of our relationship in college was spent lounging around, watching movies, and eating crap (a common dinner was to share a meat-lover's pizza and a two-liter of Mountain Dew, followed by ice cream and/or pop tarts). When I moved to go to work, we were long-distance for two years, during which I decided to get healthy. I lost nearly 40 pounds and was a size 6, though not very strong.

When we moved in together two years ago, I was mostly vegan. After seeing the error of my ways last summer, I'm now living a roughly 90% Primal lifestyle. Though it took him a while, he's now totally and completely supportive and accepting of my decisions, but he won't change his ways, and I don't want him to change unless he wants to. He still eats cereal for breakfast and a salami and cheese sandwich for lunch. I do 100% of the cooking, so dinner is always primal (lots of protein, lots of veg, sometimes a starchy carb like potato); if he wants a carb with his dinner, he's more than welcome to boil some pasta or make some toast for himself to go with the meat/veg.

I don't want to call this a "support group", but... for lack of a better term... I can only assume/hope that I'm not the only one who needs support in this! I'm sure it's different if you have kids, or if you're living with non-Primal parents... but any stories, tips, or irritating moments you want to share... please do! Let's not let this thread die.

[primalrob]

my spouse isn't primal...yet. she and i have been together for 10 years, married for 3. when we met i was close to 300 pounds, and i was around 350 when we got engaged. since then i've lost about 170, and she's always been incredibly supportive as long as i wasn't trying anything extreme like multi-day fasting. she sees how it affects both my overall physical health and mental health in only positive ways. our differences in eating led to some struggle in the past, but lately our paths have run parallel more than ever, especially since i've loosened up a bit. until very recently she was eating pasta or some sort of grains almost daily, and sugar (baked goods) is still a little bit of a problem, but she's started to go gluten free most of the time and now i'm doing the majority of the cooking for both of us.
i think there are two things that really help us. one is the universal agreement that real food is undeniably better than frankenfoods, and two is that we take the time to really talk about food. she understands the purpose and philosophy of ancestral health, but still can't accept the idea that eating 6 eggs is okay. but it works because i cook more vegetables than anything, and as long as i don't give her any organs, she'll eat what i eat. she might still eat cereal for breakfast, or make macaroni and cheese if she wants is, but mostly we focus a lot on the areas we agree about food rather than the areas we disagree.

[namelesswonder]

My SO is supportive of my choices as he now recognizes how helpful they are for my general well-being (physical and mental). He has even praised my changes to other people ("You can see her abs!"), but he has no interest in this life style for himself. I educate him with interesting tidbits now and then ("Did you know that..."), but I try not to push anything. He has become more aware over the course of my own trials of the impact of different foods on his body. He reacts negatively to sugar, especially from soda. Too much sugar makes him angry! He noted once that the bloating he was experiencing may have been from the bread he ate, as he hadn't had much in a couple of weeks. I'm just glad that I've encouraged an awareness of the impact of food on his body, if nothing else.

He eats primal dinners with me, though will have rice and regular potatoes, whereas I opt for sweet potatoes (I used to have those things too, but am trying to be strict to see how/if it helps my digestive issues). He enjoys eggs, bacon, & sausage for breakfast on weekends, but is generally on his own for lunches (doesn't eat breakfast on weekdays) and will make a stirfry with pasta or order a sub more often than not.

I worry more about what we'll do with any hypothetical future children, but that is a ways off yet, so I am trying NOT to worry .

[TornadoGirl]

My husband is not a dieter and he is one of those lucky people who has usually maintained his weight quite easily. He isn't as affected by carbs as many are and he's a runner. I, on the other hand, am the canary in the coal mine regarding chemicals and have a really bad response to excessive carbs. He's 50 now and it is catching up with him a tiny bit; he gained quite a belly over Christmas vacation (my awesome pie and too much booze). I asked him to do primal with me in Feb. and he said it was too stressful to be so limited in food choices. Anyway, I was disappointed but accepted his response. I have made quite an effort to cook primal foods (he will eat what I cook almost all of the time) and I always make enough for him to have a hot lunch at work. He has little time as a teacher and doesn't want cafeteria food ugh! Anyway, I have been more moderate with carbs and have some sweet potatoes, white potato, or rice at most meals so he's almost doing primal. The gut seems to be disappearing also. My daughter is 9. I'm not going to be a primal Nazi and insist she be 100% primal. I have done a great job with primal breakfasts and more primal lunches. So, I think it's a process. I definitely think keeping a thread going would be great support for us. I am especially interested in primal treats that taste awesome so my almost primal housemates don't feel they are sacrificing too much. I'm a really good non-primal cook and need to become a better primal one. I love what I'm making now and they aren't complaining but I need some more tried and true special dishes, etc.

[PrimalWannabeGirl]

I guess I could be the poster child for difficulties at home.

Me: Wife, mom, new retiree, recovering from recent surgery, autoimmune spinal arthritis, Lyme disease, obesity----a medical mess.
Hubby: 100 lbs. overweight, type II diabetic.
Older son: Lyme, Bartonella, Babesia infections, autism, obese.
Younger son: anxiety issues, acne.

So four adults, one of them (older son) disabled.

Nobody likes fish (except me). Their ideal meal? Macaroni and cheese, no veggies. To boot, if they feel "too deprived" by my primal meals, they go nuts with outside meals.

My strategy is thus:

For dinners that I make a simple piece of of meat, fish, or chicken, I will usually have both cooked vegetables and a salad. I make a starch---either potatoes or white rice, or once in a while gluten free pasta----for the three guys.

They don't much care for chicken, so my strategy is, after I roast a large, pastured bird, and we eat plain meat and veggies, I will make them chicken and biscuits the next meal, along with a large salad. (I eat a little of the plain chicken that didn't go into the casserole.)

All three of my family members are heavily starch-addicted. I try to serve sweet potatoes and roasted root veggies and use white rice to appease them, but it is a trial for me to feed this family.

Some of my friends have suggested that I cut everybody loose and just focus on myself, but it has always been my job to shop and cook for my family, and family time around the table is important to me, emotionally. We eat together probably 4 or 5 nights out of 7. The other times, their lives have then not hungry at dinnertime,, so they pass.

Since I am most recently recovering from yet another surgical procedure, I am taking care of myself first while trying to accomodate my family. What really sucks is when they ask me to buy products (like cold cereal) I think are garbage. My older son has an eating disorder, and a sugar addiction. He used to eat vast quantities of cookies and cakes (real crap he'd buy at the convenience store) but he has transitioned to gluten free granola and other low-sugar cereals. If I don't buy them, he'd go back to eating worse crap. So while I know what I buy isn't great for him, it's better than what he'd do if I didn't.

He doesn't drive himself, but the convenience store is within walking distance, so it is very real that if I don't buy the cereals for him, it would be worse. I have tried to talk to him about his diet and how a good diet would support his recovery from illness but he doesn't want to hear it.

My hubby has read some books I've given him (including Primal Blueprint) and he has made teeny improvements, but he's nowhere near ready to ditch bread and wheat. He knows what would help him, but he is also dealing with food addictions.

I do feel lonely in my family. They think I am obsessive and nutty about food. I am obsessive about managing my autoimmune condition and illnesses in the best way I can, but it gets old to be different from the people you love and live with.

Wow. I sure wrote a lot. Thanks for opening this thread.

Pea

[MissJecka]

I worry more about what we'll do with any hypothetical future children, but that is a ways off yet, so I am trying NOT to worry .

Yep, I understand completely. However, I lucked out because my boyfriend hates how he eats (he's immensely picky... like, ridiculously so) and as a result he's sworn that our future children will eat my diet, not his. Let's see if he keeps his word when we have offspring. :P

[Mr.Perfidy]

I have sympathy for the men here with CW women, but for women, it should be very easy.

"Eat what I say when I say to or get out." I think that most men would just go along with it.

[JoanieL]

Dude is a keeper. He loved you thin; he loved you fat; he loved you far; he loves you near. Live and let live. I've always appreciated the differences in my spouses or live-ins. (Though maybe the fact that there have been a few is a perfect reason to not listen to me. *chuckle*)

Look at your life. Now look outside your sphere. Disease, injury, poverty, etc. A mate who eats pasta isn't such a big deal.

[MissJecka]

Dude is a keeper. He loved you thin; he loved you fat; he loved you far; he loves you near. Live and let live. I've always appreciated the differences in my spouses or live-ins. (Though maybe the fact that there have been a few is a perfect reason to not listen to me. *chuckle*)

Look at your life. Now look outside your sphere. Disease, injury, poverty, etc. A mate who eats pasta isn't such a big deal.

Oh, I know all of this!

I hope I didn't come off as concerned... because I'm most definitely not! I was just telling my story and setting the mood for this thread, that's all.

[Mr.Perfidy]

"Eat what I say when I say to or get out."