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Thread: It sucks being healthy!!! page 3

  1. #21
    qqemokitty's Avatar
    qqemokitty is offline Senior Member
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    Hrm.

    I'm not an incredibly intelligent person or anything, but I am someone who is outside the norm. I have very little in common with my peers and thus have a really hard time making friends or relating to anyone. For the handful of friends I do have, I am usually putting on a show to some extent. Chances are, at any given moment I'd rather be alone, or alone with my boyfriend, with a book in my hand and music on and no constant chatter from the totally boring people around me. I'm pretty self absorbed in that way. :P I make up for it by being the best friend I can to the few I do have, who have been trained to understand that I am an introvert, that I don't do much small talk, and that if I decline to go out, it is not because I hate them.

    While our situations seem different, I totally grok (not caveman grok, Heinlein grok) where you are coming from. You have difficulty connecting to people. You have trouble making conversation with people outside your genre of work. People's eyes glaze over when I mention anything about the video game industry in which I work (my family assumed I was a checkout girl at game stop when I said I worked in the games industry) and I imagine in a field such as yours it is even more difficult to get the average person interested.

    My suggestion, then, is to develop interests outside of work. Do you have hobbies? Hiking? Horseback riding? Decoupage? Cooking? Movies? Bingo? I mean, there must be more to you than your job in the physics department (why do I feel like I am talking to the lost member of the Big Bang Theory cast? :P)

    Find a hobby that you enjoy, that other people can relate to. Find things in the world to talk about that are not obscure and archaic. Don't be 'that guy' and correct people all the time, even if with good intention.

    The right girl for you will be exceptional, not only because of her intelligence, and maybe not because of her intelligence at all. Maybe she is a high school graduate who has been working since then. Maybe she is a beautiful soul who will enrich your life in all the ways you can't do it yourself. That is, after all, the point of a relationship. You come together to form a partnership and provide to each other what is often lacking in yourself. It's a collaboration. She isn't there just to be a fuckhole, she's there to comfort you when you're anxious, maybe cook for you or with you, learn from you about what you know, and teach you about what you don't - and of course you do still have MUCH to learn, as do we all.

    I second the idea of going backpacking or at least taking a trip to another country (not England or similar). Several years ago, I spent a few weeks in Jerusalem and Jordan - boy was that an eye opener. It changed me, and for the better.

  2. #22
    wiltondeportes's Avatar
    wiltondeportes Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Derpamix View Post
    Ok, as long as we have an understanding.

    My point is, relationships are capable of stimulating you in other ways. Your biggest problem is you're actively out looking for a "perfect mate". Don't try, the meaningful ones always just have a way of finding you. This has been my experience. In the mean time, just enjoy your youth. Someone mentioned traveling, I agree. This is my plan too.
    Traveling is fine if you're lost. I'm not. I could have the wildest adventure in my own backyard or the local park. It's all a matter of mindset. As for information, I have all the books and internet sites available to me that I could ever need. I will enjoy myself though. Hope you do the same.

  3. #23
    Mr.Perfidy's Avatar
    Mr.Perfidy is offline Senior Member
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    A strategy that I doubted initially but developed and found to be successful was:

    :appraise party guests:

    - locate disproportionately hot woman to weak and feeble man couple

    -physically interrupt the man's space without apology
    - quote Jack London LOL (at woman. Only keep man in peripheral vision to deflect any physical aggression)
    - if girl's eyes respond kindly, take over shoulder

    You will not have energy when all that's played out...lol shit's nerve wracking
    "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

    Jack london, "Before Adam"

  4. #24
    Dynastinae's Avatar
    Dynastinae is offline Member
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    I like the advice Mr. Perdify gave you about giving up girls for a period. I won't claim to be a womanizer but I never had problems (I use 'had' because I married a gorgeous, smart, funny woman). If you REALLY want a girl, learn how to make her laugh. If you're in the top 5% I think you can figure it out.

  5. #25
    wiltondeportes's Avatar
    wiltondeportes Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    No shit....


    Ok...

    Look shut the fuck about thinking you are smart and in an "upper echelon" because you study physics. I do real estate and make people a shit ton of money. I am at a high echelon in my profession. I can throw terms at you that you won't understand and speak of concepts you won't understand. It's awesome at work because it makes the people signing checks think I am extra smart. We are all extra smart at something- congrats, you understand physics. I understand real estate. Mark Sisson knows how to market himself. Anna Nicole Smith was brilliant at manipulating old men.

    If you are passionate about physics, awesome. I have a dear friend with a PhD in astrophysics. She also enjoys travel and music and telling people neat stuff about the planets. You don't have to be pretentious.

    But when you start calling your self top 5% and upper echelon.... um, no. Maybe in your field of study. But you clearly are not top 5% with the ladies.... for sure.
    Wonderful... I don't think I'm smart just because I study physics. I'm just trying to use hard evidence. You don't find many idiots with degrees in physics. This is going to sound really asshole-ish, but I'm really not like most people in that community either. We share a common interest, but a lot have a stereotypical personality that is markedly different from my country boy, athlete, intellectual background.

  6. #26
    wiltondeportes's Avatar
    wiltondeportes Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
    A strategy that I doubted initially but developed and found to be successful was:

    :appraise party guests:

    - locate disproportionately hot woman to weak and feeble man couple

    -physically interrupt the man's space without apology
    - quote Jack London LOL (at woman. Only keep man in peripheral vision to deflect any physical aggression)
    - if girl's eyes respond kindly, take over shoulder

    You will not have energy when all that's played out...lol shit's nerve wracking
    I like you.

  7. #27
    Mr.Perfidy's Avatar
    Mr.Perfidy is offline Senior Member
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    I met my wife a little while after my ascetic sexless no-girls-allowed period, which I called my war (from Zarathustra again: "Who then can be ready for [u]my war? And verily there are many that tremble at the loud roll of my drums!"[/i]) She is also very intelligent and sexy, very clever, and most importantly, way deep and insightful- she just naturally sees right through every trick that I have ever played; an inability to do this fills me with contempt for people, and justifies deceiving them I think.

    It took a few months of really looking at my behavior toward women, which meant not behaving at all toward them for a while, and only reflecting upon the impulses that I consciously thwarted.
    "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

    Jack london, "Before Adam"

  8. #28
    Mr.Perfidy's Avatar
    Mr.Perfidy is offline Senior Member
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    I like you.
    you just have to take shit to the next level man, Level Up like- you are only healthy and clever in a context, and that context is among bovine humanoids that no real human takes seriously anyway. There is a whole class above you obscured by their indifference to the bovine all-too-many, and they are generally very capable, intelligent, cunning, driven, and physically dominating. Find such a crew of men at a dojo or bar or ring or something and tail along for a bit, and you will find that you are yet the puppy afterall.
    "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

    Jack london, "Before Adam"

  9. #29
    wiltondeportes's Avatar
    wiltondeportes Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
    I met my wife a little while after my ascetic sexless no-girls-allowed period, which I called my war (from Zarathustra again: "Who then can be ready for [u]my war? And verily there are many that tremble at the loud roll of my drums!"[/i]) She is also very intelligent and sexy, very clever, and most importantly, way deep and insightful- she just naturally sees right through every trick that I have ever played; an inability to do this fills me with contempt for people, and justifies deceiving them I think.

    It took a few months of really looking at my behavior toward women, which meant not behaving at all toward them for a while, and only reflecting upon the impulses that I consciously thwarted.
    I actually tried out that ascetic no-girls period starting in mid-January, and I am just now getting out of it.

    And you're quoting my favorite philosopher.

  10. #30
    Paleobird's Avatar
    Paleobird Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by qqemokitty View Post
    why do I feel like I am talking to the lost member of the Big Bang Theory cast? :P)
    I was thinking the exact same thing. This is Sheldon's long lost twin brother.

    That said WDP, I do kind of get where you are coming from. I have always known that I was not in the middle of the bell curve too. (gifted classes as a kid, passed the Mensa test, 99th percentile SATs, ivy league scholarship, doctorate degree, yada, yada. All stuff not said as bragging, just tangible markers of the nebulous concept that is "intelligence")

    Yes, it does limit your dating pool a bit. So? Would you rather be average? No? Then deal with it. Quit whining. It's not sexy.

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