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Thread: It sucks being healthy!!! page 23

  1. #221
    Michiel's Avatar
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    That the person you end up dating with can be someone very unexpected is what I am afraid off. Seeking and avoiding the right places and events is where it is all about for me.

    If you find someone who is not intellectually able, you can expect to raise your kids on your own!

  2. #222
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    I know I'm opening myself up for a personal attack by mentioning this Wilton, but reading this makes your PM's make a hulluva lot more sense. I will agree that disparities in intelligence make dating and mating difficult for you. But it's not just that you are more intelligent than everyone around you. Intellectually speaking, that may be true. But the real crux of your problem is that you lack emotional intelligence, and that's where you strike out relationally.


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  3. #223
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michiel View Post
    If you find someone who is not intellectually able, you can expect to raise your kids on your own!
    That's not the whole story, there is also instinct. If I were to rely ONLY on intellect, I would not be a good father ... and just to give another example: my mother was a berbčre peasant, she never went to school because of war, she yet managed to raise 4 kids on her own (she is a widow) and provided me with all a child can care for, including enough intelligence and groundedness to fend for myself and my family. Not sure what the big deal it is to study hard science, etc. I did, and I can confidently say that there are many academic idiots ...

  4. #224
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    My dad was/is not at all an intellectual. My mom was and my brother is. I'm more like my dad. You would not discuss literature or science with my dad.

    He was, however, a fantastic provider, took great care of all of us, and showed my mom a lot of love. I fail to see what makes him somehow less intelligent or worthy, just because he lacked degrees and perhaps some academic curiosity. I fully admit- I do not appreciate art or literature. I don't give a shit about science. I'm glad there are people that do. But you know, the world needs all types.

    If you really enjoy "intellectual" pursuits, by all means, pursue them and it makes sense that you might not enjoy the company of people who like to watch football, fish or go to the NASCAR races. But don't think it somehow makes you a better person, a more capable parent or a better employee. It just means you have different interests. Simple as that. The biggest mistake is thinking you are somehow "better" then someone who doesn't get or understand your interests. That just is not the case.

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  5. #225
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    My dad was/is not at all an intellectual. My mom was and my brother is. I'm more like my dad. You would not discuss literature or science with my dad.

    He was, however, a fantastic provider, took great care of all of us, and showed my mom a lot of love. I fail to see what makes him somehow less intelligent or worthy, just because he lacked degrees and perhaps some academic curiosity. I fully admit- I do not appreciate art or literature. I don't give a shit about science. I'm glad there are people that do. But you know, the world needs all types.

    If you really enjoy "intellectual" pursuits, by all means, pursue them and it makes sense that you might not enjoy the company of people who like to watch football, fish or go to the NASCAR races. But don't think it somehow makes you a better person, a more capable parent or a better employee. It just means you have different interests. Simple as that. The biggest mistake is thinking you are somehow "better" then someone who doesn't get or understand your interests. That just is not the case.
    You know, my wife introduced me recently to the enneagram types (you can google it). While I am not versed in spiritual / mystical stuff, I was quite amazed by how much I could identify with one particular type (type 9). Looks like the OP is type 5

  6. #226
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    @ Magnolia

    I agree with that on one hand entirely.....as an example, a lot of the people that live where I do LOOK like your stereotypical country bumpkin x1000. Most of them make people in Southern Alabama look cosmopolitan. My neighbor has dead beavers hanging off his porch right now. Not even worth mentioning to him. Totally normal.

    Most of them are not big timers when it comes to knowledge on science, art, music, or the like. They won't be taking my season tickets to the symphony any time soon as a gift; I'll put it that way

    But they are incredibly well-versed on so many practical things that most people are clueless on. Taking care of animals, fixing just about anything, gardening, hunting, building homes, cutting wood, trapping, weather, etc...just about anything practical they are a genius.

    With that all said, I DO have a big problem with people who have no interest in history, politics, society, or the other things that make one a citizen. I don't care if someone doesn't know a Picasso from a Rembrandt; one could chalk that up to "interests" or the way one was raised. Same goes for a lot of scientific knowledge....but that is not the same as not knowing a thing about our basic history, world events, and political structure. Not giving a shit about THAT stuff is, in my opinion, a dereliction of one's duty as a democratic citizen.

    I have become really irritated with women I have been interested in before, and even more so at dudes I know, who act as if my knowledge of history or concern over events is akin to a "hobby" or "interest". It isn't. That is just called being a citizen. Regardless of opinion, we must all know basic facts. This whole system goes up in smoke if people don't know anything.

    Or as Jefferson said, "A people cannot be both ignorant and free."
    "Man is born free.....but everywhere he is in chains."

  7. #227
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    With that all said, I DO have a big problem with people who have no interest in history, politics, society, or the other things that make one a citizen.
    I have an interest in history and politics to a degree, but I hate the arguing that goes along with it. I don't like the debate, even if I understand the dynamics, I more or less don't offer up political opinions to people.

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  8. #228
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    I agree with you there. Most people who just LOVE to argue about politics are fake-intellectual charlatans that know only their own taste of kool-aid....I only talk politics with people who do it with seriousness, not sport.

    I actually relate to the OP on this a little...will write a larger reply later. Gotta get back to work
    "Man is born free.....but everywhere he is in chains."

  9. #229
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    But they are incredibly well-versed on so many practical things that most people are clueless on. Taking care of animals, fixing just about anything, gardening, hunting, building homes, cutting wood, trapping, weather, etc...just about anything practical they are a genius.
    So practical applications of science.

    It's funny- I actually love making art. I was a potter for a long time, draw and sketch, enjoy painting, but I don't enjoy discussions on it or looking at it (galleries etc.). It bores me.

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  10. #230
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    I have this best-seller self-help book about love languages and although those kinds of books are usually total crap, I really think this one has a lot of merit. I read the book recently but I took from it the opposite of what the author said to do, which is that to make your partner feel loved you have to speak his/her love language. The opposite that I took away is that to feel loved, I should recognize the love language my partner is trying to speak to me. And since noticing this, I've been more conscious of it and can see that the man does tons of stuff for me all the time trying to demonstrate his love for me. This makes me feel loved.

    I think that all the stuff about whether your body is a perfect 10 or whether you are smart enough is just requirements for initial attraction. Once the initial attraction wears off, what we really want is to feel loved. You will feel loved when the other person fills your life with loving actions, loving words, time spent together, touch and gifts in whatever proportion is meaningful to you. The time spent together might contain a requirement for 100% intellectual conversation but in the end I think even the smartest person would get bored if that's the ONLY criteria for a loving relationship. Eventually they might find themselves empty of love in their life and unhappy with their partner.

    So yeah, tl;dr; loosen up.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
    I can squat 180lbs, press 72.5lbs and deadlift 185lbs

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