I agree that you should eat more carbs and protein. As a woman doing a geezer-modified version of Starting Strength, I eat quite a bit of protein and sweet/white potatoes. I make steady and slow progress on my lifts. I can see and feel visible muscle being built. All this without massive calories or massive weight gain. (Sadly, still kinda fat, but all the more of a miracle that I can see the muscle in my upper body.)
Anyway, in SS the suggestion is that if you repeat the same weights 3 workouts in a row without progress, you should drop back 10% and work up again. Also, seriously, take some form videos of yourself and post them to the SS forum and ask for help. Your problem could be entirely form and nothing to do with calories.
Female, 5'3", 48, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135.
Starting bench press: 30lbs. Current bench press: 75lbs.