Worried about my daughter page 3

[Sandra in BC]

I was teased constantly starting in middle school right through high school. I never lost an ounce.

Fat-shaming is not an effective weight loss technique to apply to other people. If it was, no one would be fat.

Very true.

I have my mother's body shape, and my grandmother's body shape. She saw me developing HER shape/size, and imprinted HER body issues on to me. My MIL did the same to her daughter and now her older granddaughters but 100x worse.

I mentioned once to my MIL that my tall, bony 12yo girl was finally getting some curves and able to shop in the juniors dept (size 0 or 1) and she made some asstard comment like "well don't get too curvy, you don't want a butt like mine or your mother's". EXCUSE ME! There is nothing wrong with MY butt thank you very much. And that is the last body issue or diet comment you are allowed to make to my child.

[bloodorchid]

Once she hits middle school she'll get teased for it and slim up. Happened to me. I'm the skinniest person in my family because I saw my fat parents and realized I didn't want to spend my life like that.

no. just no. i can't even... why would you want a little kid to be made fun of? that's heart breaking

OP don't make a big deal about switching food, keep using the word 'we' like 'yay we like yummy food eat all dem meat and fruits'

kids pick up on that sht and suddenly something about them is 'wrong' and they didn't know it before

[notlupus]

I was teased constantly starting in middle school right through high school. I never lost an ounce.

It worked for me. I'm not saying it's ideal, but eventually she will develop the awareness that chips and soda make her fat.

I don't want her to be made fun of, but I'm saying if what he tries doesn't work peer pressure WILL kick in and take over.

[eKatherine]

It worked for me. I'm not saying it's ideal, but eventually she will develop the awareness that chips and soda make her fat.

Seriously, you think kids don't know that chips and soda make you fat, after being hammered on this by their school and in the media?

I don't want her to be made fun of, but I'm saying if what he tries doesn't work peer pressure WILL kick in and take over.

Yep, it sure did. It took me about 20 years to get over my issues that resulted from bullying and harassment in school.

[notlupus]

I had a mother that told me that chocolate oatmeal cookies were healthy because they had oatmeal and both of my parents made fun of me for trying to eat low fat to lose weight (this was the 90s) and didn't offer any help (except buying me things like low fat poptarts because I went to the store and picked them out myself). Hopefully she's one of the kids that can HTFU and deal with adversity in a constructive way. Helping her deal with this in a constructive way once it happens can help her become a strong person when she has to deal with adversity later. It can be turned into a positive!

[eKatherine]

The issue with overweight isn't that thin people have chosen to be thin while overweight people haven't chosen not to be overweight yet. It's that most overweight people do not have an effective strategy for losing weight. They are surrounded by conventional wisdom and have no expertise to question it. For a teenaged girl to attempt to take control would mean starving herself on a low fat/low calorie diet while exercising like a crazy person.

Most overweight women start a lifetime of disordered eating with their first diet as a teen. Bullying is not a growth opportunity for the victim.

[Sabine]

Bullying is not a growth opportunity for the victim.

Well said.

[notlupus]

I have no idea what to tell you, because being "bullied" by my own parents certainly was a growth opportunity for me. I guess I'm just a stronger person than most.

[Ayla2010]

no. just no. i can't even... why would you want a little kid to be made fun of? that's heart breaking

OP don't make a big deal about switching food, keep using the word 'we' like 'yay we like yummy food eat all dem meat and fruits'

kids pick up on that sht and suddenly something about them is 'wrong' and they didn't know it before

Yes this.

I have no idea what to tell you, because being "bullied" by my own parents certainly was a growth opportunity for me. I guess I'm just a stronger person than most.

Well good on you. Lucky for you that you didn't end up with issues from crap like this. Many many people do.

To the OP, its your job as a parent to teach your child about healthy eating. And I think with children you have to put your foot down about foods that are eaten at home. Its what I did with my 2. When my oldest is at school, he can have cupcakes if its someones birthday, or similar. I don't completely restrict them, because I also don't want them to sneak foods. But food at home is 100% primal. They learn what they know from us.

[mauler5858]

Ive gotten very busy since I wrote this post. I will be doing a very large reply to all of the posts either this evening or tomorrow morning.