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Thread: Getting a SAD mindset to leave you alone about being primal page 2

  1. #11
    Nivanthe's Avatar
    Nivanthe is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isisinabi View Post
    Go figure. Anyway, how do I get him to get off my back about it?

    Any suggestion?
    I feel like you've already got it: "I've lost 75lbs and I'm feeling great -- Leave me alone."

    Feel free to insert any niceties or nicknames to soften it, or just thank him for worrying about you. PS. Awesome job on the weight loss!

  2. #12
    Croak's Avatar
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    There's an outside chance he's threatened by your weight loss. As you lose weight and gain confidence, you become more desirable to others, so he might worry he's losing his "lock" on you, and his defense is to passive-aggressively try to derail your metamorphosis.

    Not that I know anything about that, mind you.

  3. #13
    Damiana's Avatar
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    You lost 75 pounds on PB. Who cares what your bf thinks. If he's not supportive, get a new one. You deserve better .
    F 28/5'4/100 lbs

    "I'm not a psychopath, I'm a high-functioning sociopath; do your research."

  4. #14
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    Eat him
    Four years Primal with influences from Jaminet & Shanahan and a focus on being anti-inflammatory. Using Primal to treat CVD and prevent stents from blocking free of drugs.

    Eat creatures nose-to-tail (animal, fowl, fish, crustacea, molluscs), a large variety of vegetables (raw, cooked and fermented, including safe starches), dairy (cheese & yoghurt), occasional fruit, cocoa, turmeric & red wine

  5. #15
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    Don't worry, he will not pester you for long: he will die first and soon enough, you will find a new Bf, hopefully from this forum and have nice healthy babies to whom nobody will be feeding crap. Future is bright!

  6. #16
    Omni's Avatar
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    Maybe he's got latent insecurities coming through cos you're lookin so good, now the pressure's on him to get those ab's.

    Do what you do, be confidant, sometimes people question me and I simply say it's a long story, do you want to hear the whole story?, if not then it's just the way it is.
    I find that knocks out the little tit for tat argument, and soon as they say something I just look at them, whole story or not, may take a few days or weeks, then they usually let go, no one wants to listen to me for 2 weeks straight.
    As for your boyfriend, nothing you can do, you have put the water in front of him, he needs to choose to drink.
    Last edited by Omni; 02-19-2013 at 03:06 AM.

  7. #17
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    How long has this been going on? With a weight loss in the 70+ pounds range, more than just two weeks, but I am curious.

    I have been married for 19 years now to Hubby, and when he married me I was ovo-lacto veg. Then I had babies and got mixed up and went SAD for a while. Then I recently got Primal. Along the way we discovered one of our kids was a dairy-allergic celiac, and one other had gut issues to the tune of her needing the Specific Carbohydrate Diet to get well (if you haven't dealt with THAT one, be grateful). And in none of this, and I mean none, has hubby been like your guy. He was always willing to check out my sources and listen to the mental path I was on, even if he did kinda exude the "please, can't we just eeeeeeat already" thing at times.

    Flat-out rejection to even LOOK at the sources you are using tells me there is something deeper going on. Try some of the suggestions to call a truce to the food fights, and if he cannot abide by that, all while still yelling about a WOE he refuses to research even though his girlfriend is doing it - time for a better model, sweetie.

    If you were married with kids, my advice would be somewhat different, because kids trump a lot of things, but you are still in the pre- stage, and you will want to stack the deck in your favor as strongly as you can with the choice of partner. Mine really couldn't care as long as food hits the table, because mine just wants to eat, but he is just as patient anyway, just as I describe. So, mine will never be the self-energizing kind to go out and get abs and be like Grok, but that is okay with me, as we live peacefully (and my food choices for the family have been obviously beneficial to everyone - having proof helps).

    HUGE congratulations on the weight loss!! Good luck, and let us know how this turns out, okay?
    I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Croak View Post
    There's an outside chance he's threatened by your weight loss. As you lose weight and gain confidence, you become more desirable to others, so he might worry he's losing his "lock" on you, and his defense is to passive-aggressively try to derail your metamorphosis.
    This x 1000. Also what others said about a non-supportive boyfriend. Run now before you get the ring!
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

  9. #19
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    "Fuck off" is a complete sentence. As is "there's the door."

    Seriously, if this guy can't respect your ability to make a decision about what to eat, what else about you doesn't he respect?

  10. #20
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    My partner sounds a lot like yours. I have just soldiered on. I got tired of eating fatty things, so I started making things that were more on the borderline between what he thinks is healthy and what I think is healthy. I make a lot of salmon and lean meat items. I only use bacon as a flavoring. When I do serve something sort of fatty I remind him it's grass-fed so has all the heart healthy Omega 3s. I serve simple dishes of meat and vegetables. Often I serve him rice or bread on the side if it seems like it would go well. I will sometimes make him pasta, too. I try to make him feel like I'm not forcing too much on him other than general healthfulness. He is microscopically slowly moving in my direction as far as diet goes.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
    Starting squat: 45lbs. Current squat: 170 x 3. Current Deadlift: 220 x 3

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