Alright... soooo Saturday Sucked. Awful, stressful day at home turned into an awful stressful night at work. I was distracted, crabby, tired and really irritated. Without even thinking about it, I ate a doughnut. Yup, that's right. Didn't even realize what I had done until it was gone. Of course, I paid dearly for this mistake. I became very ill. I'm glad I got sick though, or else it would be easier to do that again. This is a lesson in stress management. Don't let yourself get so overwhelmed that you go on autopilot and revert back to old bad habits. Bad bad. I haven't stepped on the scale since then. Sunday, I was BUH-LOW-TED. I mean, so bloated, my face was noticeably PUFFY! So noticeable, my mom commented. The slight double chin I had before starting primal came back for a day. It's like I got a glimpse into my past. Ew. Wanna know one good thing though? I had a serious thought of running through McDonalds after work. I mean, because, ya know, I had already messed up, right? Well, I then gave myself a lecture about how it's just as easy to stop the mistake right in it's tracks and move on to the next day.
So, that's what I've been doing.
A word on beans. I'll never eat them again. Never. We had chili Yesterday. I almost asked mom to make a separate pot for me, since she loved to load it with beans, but I figured I could just pick them out. Well, the first bowl I did. Then a few hours later I was FREAKING STARVING DOG RAVENOUS- Where did that come from? I never feel like that these days. Anyway, I got another bowl, picked out about half the beans, got sick of it, and just ate the damn chili- beans and all. I mean, there MIGHT have been 15-20 beans in that bowl. I only scooped out about a cup and a half of chili for this bowl. After I was done eating, I felt like someone had pumped air into me. I love beans, but this was a lesson in never eating them again. They didn't make me feel good. At all.
So, I'll probably wait, like, ya know three weeks to get on the scale again. My next goal was 280 pounds at which point in time I will buy myself some new jeans. I will sorely need them at that point. The ones i'm wearing now are annoyingly loose at the waist and hips, but still fitting at the thighs, though markedly looser.
This weekend I have been on a furious goat watch. My Ruby goat is due to birth ANY FREAKING TIME NOW. I'm checking her every couple hours and at least once in the night. She keeps holding them. She has all the signs of birth, but no freaking birth. I'm just excited to see them.
Sunday I spent 6 whole hours starting garden seeds. It was A LOT of fun and destressing for me. It was... wonderful. I want to get a picture up of the rack. I have about 12 dozen seed pots under lights. This includes: Cabbage, broccoli, brussel sprouts, swiss chard, tomatoes (cherry, slicing and paste) Cayenne peppers, chili peppers, habanero peppers and bell peppers, cauliflower and kale. In three weeks, I will be starting cucumbers, butternut squash, zucchini, water melon, cantaloupe and lettuces. All beans, corn, carrots and peas get directly seeded into the garden. Lettuce has to be sown in succession for the head varieties, or else I'll have thirty heads of lettuce to be harvested and eat NOW, if you know what I mean.
I hadn't intended on starting this much. BUT, Som has me in connection with a private gas station owner who wants to buy anything and everything I can sell to her. This will be my first real contracted buyer. Very exciting!
Peace and love!
I hope to have baby goat pictures soon.



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sweet little guys



