Hitting your kids page 9

[Ayla2010]

Ayla what about meat eating?

What about it? It's not even related.
Not that it matters but we only buy meat that is killed gently and quickly and by hand

[mikewootini]

Not sure why this is even in 'Health and Fitness'.

a violent response teaches a violent response.

pretty simple.

most kids don't even understand why they are being hit. I now remember why I stopped reading these forums everyday.

[EagleRiverDee]

I'm a little shocked at how many people find spanking and beating to be equivalent in their minds. I was spanked. I was not beat. Spanking is done out of love, to teach a lesson. Some kids don't require spanking, some do.

And to be clear, spanking is not done with a fist to the face. These posts where someone says "How would you feel if someone smacked you across the face?" Well, that's not spanking.

And as to whether it should be ok to do this to adults- does anyone remember a few years back there was an American citizen that has broken the law in Asia somewhere and his sentence was that he would be caned 20 times? And the outcry over that? Frankly, I think the USA should employ caning as a form of punishment. It appears that criminals, just like kids, are more afraid of having their backside swatted than they are of a "time out" (jail).

[jojohaligo]

And you are still alive. I hope he didn't hurt you too badly.

Yup, I am alive and don't suffer depression or other ailments as a result and I am fairly happy. My siblings have not fared as well.

To acknowledge the difference, he beat us and he spanked us, but when you are the kid in the midst of it, there is really no difference. It all reads the same.

[Ayla2010]

Look I was going to reply to lots of people in this thread.
But yes I see any hitting as abuse. I guess in NZ its seen that way too, since its illegal to smack your kids. Sadly it won't stop people. Yes all I saw was being hit by the person who was supposed to love and protect me, not hurt me. I can't do that to my children. I don't need to make them fear me. I know my thread is what prompted this one. I wasn't looking to argue with people, I just wanted other ideas about how to deal with an issue, which may not even be an issue. But anyway.
I just don't see a need to hit at all. There have been times when I have been angry about something and had a momentary thought of "oh I could smack you" but I have stopped myself. Never ever have I thought about hitting while calm.
Hitting in any form, can have a serious affect on you. I am sorry to those who suffered abuse. Its nasty, and something I saw and experienced in different forms growing up.
I don't agree with it, but I am not going to argue with people who smack their children. I just don't want to fight.

[Ayla2010]

For those who do smack, where do you draw the line? Do you ever smack when you are calm, and rational? Or only angry. When is it too much. Smack on the bum didn't work, so a slap on the face? Or pushing them into the wall? Still not listening? How about a punch in the face and then thrown into the wall.
I know if I am angry and think about it I am able to stop myself. What about those who start hitting out of anger? Where do you stop?
Being hit is one thing. But then seeing your sister hit and punched until the woman who raised you was pulled off her because she literally could not stop is another. All because she had sex and smoked pot at 14. When you are constantly told no, but not told of what would happen if you do things like then, of course you want to see what the big deal is about. Then being punished like that because you were not educated properly. Yeah not OK.

[bloodorchid]

Yup, I am alive and don't suffer depression or other ailments as a result and I am fairly happy. My siblings have not fared as well.

To acknowledge the difference, he beat us and he spanked us, but when you are the kid in the midst of it, there is really no difference. It all reads the same.

it didn't to me. in my mind there was a very clear and very sharp distinction *shrug*

[Ayla2010]

Is it OK to hit your wife for losing an earing?
For forgetting to pay a bill?
Think if you hit her, she will remember next time? Maybe she will, but she would be too scared to do otherwise.

What about hitting the man who accidentally ran up the butt of your car, because he wasn't paying attention?

I just don't understand why people think its OK to hit a child, but not an adult.

[Ayla2010]

it didn't to me. in my mind there was a very clear and very sharp distinction *shrug*

Not for me.

[bloodorchid]

For those who do smack, where do you draw the line? Do you ever smack when you are calm, and rational? Or only angry. When is it too much. Smack on the bum didn't work, so a slap on the face? Or pushing them into the wall? Still not listening? How about a punch in the face and then thrown into the wall.
I know if I am angry and think about it I am able to stop myself. What about those who start hitting out of anger? Where do you stop?
Being hit is one thing. But then seeing your sister hit and punched until the woman who raised you was pulled off her because she literally could not stop is another. All because she had sex and smoked pot at 14. When you are constantly told no, but not told of what would happen if you do things like then, of course you want to see what the big deal is about. Then being punished like that because you were not educated properly. Yeah not OK.

where does that even come from? seriously?

if i am pro spanking, i am automatically violent and will beat my child to death?