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Thread: Hitting your kids page 5

  1. #41
    Mr.Perfidy's Avatar
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    There are a lot of cultures that find smacking adults in that situation to be perfectly acceptable...
    "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

    Jack london, "Before Adam"

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodorchid View Post
    i would respect his authoritah, lousia

    i should have remembered my extra resume

    also, i'm sorry,but who the f here is advocating a slapping a small child on the face for any reason
    That would be the OP dear...
    Quoted from over in the "gentle/attached parenting thread"

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
    there isn't like a mean uncle figure to just smack him in the face once when this happens?

    I do not understand the theory behind not hitting children- daily and shit, for the hell of it, I understand why this is bad, but where in nature do you not see hurt and aggression as a means of instruction? If he doesn't learn now, he is going to be trying to talk out a problem with a knife-wielding subhuman with no critical thought, empathy, or language skills.

    Obviously "modelling" non-aggression isn't working if he is hitting his brother when he is displeased. Sounds like he just needs to learn that violence is not some abstract and confusing mommy-speak concept, but rather, an actual stinging blow on his fat spoiled cheek.
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  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodorchid View Post
    who is advocating slapping a child across the face for a mistake?
    "lots of people"
    ad astra per aspera

  4. #44
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    The distinctions between spanking and hitting can be tenuous. It really depends on the parent's temper. My dad reprimanded me maybe a couple of times, but he never hit me out of rage (unlike my mum). Hitting is more about the parent venting their frustrations and trying to control than about the child's well-being.

    I take my hat off to anyone who has kids because raising them looks like a minefield. My sister has a gorgeous little toddler who is impossible to manage cos' my sister doesn't want to be strict or impinge on the kid's development. She's reacting against her own excessively disciplinarian upbringing, but it's too far the other way.

    What's the balance?

    Quote Originally Posted by JoanieL View Post
    Just another example of the view of children as property.
    Yip. Something to be molded into a shape they approve of. Some parents, not all.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louisa655 View Post
    So here's a question for all the adults on this line of discussion:

    It's Monday morning, and you have an interview at an organization that you are very excited about. ...
    Is that analogous to anything you experienced as a child? Because it doesn't line up with anything I ever experienced.

    I have to start with this: Harming someone (in any way, doesn't matter if it's physical or not) for failing to do something that wasn't understood before the request isn't punishment.

    If I say, "Bring a copy of your resume or you will not be considered for the job," or even, "...or I'm going to slap you silly," that's one thing. You knew it was expected and you failed to meet expectations, so you got punished. If, on the other hand, I say, "Arrive for the interview at 9:30 AM and expect to spent all morning talking to people," and you do, but you didn't bring a resume (which I never asked for), it would be insane of me to slap you or even take you out of the pool of potential candidates. That's not saying a candidate with a copy of their resume wouldn't score higher (it might've been a "how prepared are you" test) but someone else doing better isn't the same as you being harmed.

    Same if the smack is to a kid... if it wasn't understood it really isn't punishment. If the kid fully understood a rule and violated it (either knowingly, or, if it was a really important rule, through carelessness) then punishment of some sort could well make them a better person. For some kids, a smack is an effective punishment. It wouldn't be on my top 10 list but it wouldn't be Wrong either.
    Last edited by Him; 02-11-2013 at 03:37 PM.

  6. #46
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    so one person's post on another thread equals everyone who would spank capable of abusing a child

    got it
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

  7. #47
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    Cori if you would, could you address my quoted statement?

    Isn't it helpful to a child's development to understand that violence is an act that affects them violently? As opposed to an idea that affects them rationally?

    and why are people so anti-smacking? Not in the "don't smack kids" sense, but in the, "I will use being smacked as an example of a heinous and inherently terrible event!" It's a smack. Literally no one ever suffered anything from it except some cheek puffing and wounded pride.
    "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

    Jack london, "Before Adam"

  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
    Literally no one ever suffered anything from it except some cheek puffing and wounded pride.
    Literally no one?! How do you know?
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheFastCat View Post
    In this case it is very directly the OP who is advocating that behavior... but a lot of other people act out that behavior regularly as well I believe.
    I went back and directly quoted the OP's advocation of slapping a child in the face so you could be less nit picky. Not weasely at all IMO since I have been slapped in the face many times myself... I was not saying that "a lot" of people here were advocating that action, simply that many people in American culture practice it. Or at least they did in the area/time I grew up in since I doubt I can name off even a few of the people I know who were never in their lives smacked in the face while growing up.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  10. #50
    Mr.Perfidy's Avatar
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    Why are you equating hitting someone with abuse?!

    Reading some of these arguments is making me want to abuse some posters, so that they can log back in and say something like,

    "Oh I see...there is getting hit, and there is being abused."
    "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

    Jack london, "Before Adam"

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