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Thread: Hitting your kids page 18

  1. #171
    Crabbcakes's Avatar
    Crabbcakes is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by itchy166 View Post
    Martial arts are excellent for boys and men alike, it teaches self-defense, it teaches anger control, and it teaches to never use your fighting skill unless it is to defend yourself or others. Very good for self-confidence too.
    Same for girls, too...

    BTW - you get forever brownie points with me for teaching your little lady how to sock a few noses. Like you said, in a perfect world, it wouldn't be needed, but we ain't there yet.
    I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

  2. #172
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    I think itchys situation was different to my son.
    I think his daughter seemed to have no other choice. That school should have handled it better.But my son is only 5 so I think teaching him to use his words instead of his hands while learning to control his emotions is the best thing to do at the moment.
    Will reevaluate if and when needed.

  3. #173
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    I was smacked as a ikid. I turned out fine.

    Nowadays, kids are turning into spoiled brats. "Time outs" don't do the trick, IMO.

  4. #174
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    No hence why we don't do them either

  5. #175
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    Quote Originally Posted by itchy166 View Post
    Really does the method really matter that much if the result is a well-adjusted adult who can (and does) look after herself? In a word, no.
    To use your own words... I have to disagree on this one.

    While I'm a fairly "well adjusted" adult who as you put it "can (and does) look after herself" it took a load of hard work on my part to get me here... along with years of therapy. And while I'm functional, I'm also deeply scarred and still a work in process, still fighting back against the psychological damage that was done to me.

    Yes... the method matters.

    I'm not saying that your little story is what I'm talking about.
    I'm saying that advocating for hitting kids is a slippery slope...
    People are quick to say it's not right to never hit, but there is a wide disparity in how much people think IS appropriate.
    Some think a simple smack on the bottom or hand is appropriate, but no harm.
    OTOH the person who started this thread thinks smacking your own child in the face so that you swell their cheek and bust their lip is perfectly fine (his description "taste of blood" I think)...
    That is a huge divide...
    And you can be sure if OP smacks his kid in the face and bloodies their lip and someone sees it and says something that he'll tell them it's none of their damned business... but it IS his business if someone says I will NEVER hit my child? (Yes, he said it was his business in another post... not that I feel that is valid in any way.)

    Quote Originally Posted by AngryKiwi47 View Post
    I was smacked as a ikid. I turned out fine.

    Nowadays, kids are turning into spoiled brats. "Time outs" don't do the trick, IMO.
    Kids acting spoiled and bratty has nothing to do with smacking or lack of smacking, or time outs either...
    It has to do with parents reinforcing/rewarding negative bratty/spoiled behaviors.
    Period.

    As in being in the grocery store and bribing them with a cookie, or if they whine in the store giving them anything they want (sweeties) just so they are quiet, allowing the child to demand something rudely and giving it to them because it's easier than talking them through being polite and asking, parents over scheduling their 4 year olds to have a million things to do when they should be napping... ect.

    Spoiled/bratty behavior is the result of bad parenting.
    Kids aren't that hard to figure out... c'mon.
    Last edited by cori93437; 02-11-2013 at 11:24 PM.
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  6. #176
    NZ primal Gwamma's Avatar
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    Holy guacamoly - I go off to a funeral for the afternoon having just read page 3................. come home and we are up to page 18 !!!!!!!!
    obviously a HOT TOPIC
    anyway just thought that I would say that DH went to catholic boys boarding school ................. his tally ???????.............. 55 canes
    and he tells me that sometimes they drew blood, and sometimes he couldn't sit down for days !!!!!!!

    I haven't found any permanent scars on his bottom....... and Gwamma has looked !!!!!!!
    "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

    ...small steps....

  7. #177
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    I'll repeat something a mother (not mine) told me - the minute you hit your child, you have lost the fight. Rang true then and I have followed that idea since becoming a parent. We tell our child not to hit and, as adults, we follow that rule too. Now... I'd better read the whole thread.
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm and (in development) Vanguard!

  8. #178
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    Quote Originally Posted by badgergirl View Post
    I'll repeat something a mother (not mine) told me - the minute you hit your child, you have lost the fight. Rang true then and I have followed that idea since becoming a parent. We tell our child not to hit and, as adults, we follow that rule too. Now... I'd better read the whole thread.
    Maybe best you don't

    Good advice

  9. #179
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ayla2010 View Post
    I think itchys situation was different to my son.
    I think his daughter seemed to have no other choice. That school should have handled it better.But my son is only 5 so I think teaching him to use his words instead of his hands while learning to control his emotions is the best thing to do at the moment.
    Will reevaluate if and when needed.
    Yes, always words first
    "It's a great life, if you don't weaken.". John Buchan

  10. #180
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ayla2010 View Post
    I know there is violence out there and there may be a situation where defending yourself is needed. Maybe ill do martial arts too
    Gracie Jiu-Jitsu has anti-bullying classes for youngsters, and women's self-defense courses. Their style of fighting is very defensive, and uses mostly holds stop stop attackers.

    http://www.gracieacademy.com/
    Last edited by itchy166; 02-12-2013 at 03:36 AM. Reason: wrong link
    "It's a great life, if you don't weaken.". John Buchan

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