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Thread: Hitting your kids page 17

  1. #161
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ayla2010 View Post
    And train them? For real? They aren't dogs.
    No, they aren't dogs. Then again, neither are musicians, or ballet dancers, or painters, or pilots, or...all the people who need extensive training to excel.

    Yes, train them. Kids are adults in training. It is your job as a parent to train them to be effective adults.

  2. #162
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ayla2010 View Post
    And train them? For real? They aren't dogs.
    I have to disagree on this one. (After violently biting my tongue so far.).

    The ONLY job of a parent is to train your children to be able to look after themselves as adults. Not enough people are doing a very good job with this either as evidenced by the number of 20 and 30 somethings living in their parents basements...

    Really does the method really matter that much if the result is a well-adjusted adult who can (and does) look after herself? In a word, no.

    A have a little story about violence and bullying for you just to bring things back to perspective. My daughter was severely bullied up until the age of twelve. My wife and I had been to the school on many occasions, but to no avail. The school is too weak to lay blame on the aggressor, and the aggressors parents refused to believe that their son is bullying a girl. The school's solution to an aggressive male bully? Bring the bully and the victim together, and have them talk it out!!! So in essence, the school is telling both parties involved that they are both to blame, and that my daughter is somehow responsible or at least complicit in her own bullying!!!

    Anyway, to make the a long story short, I eventually told the school that if they continue to allow this to happen, then I would teach my daughter how to punch correctly. They were appalled to say the least. I reminded them that the criminal code allows for self-defense, (which they argued, lol) and that if they weren't going to help my daughter then she would help herself.

    They didn't, and she did. After punching a few noses, the bullying stopped but she still suffers from the abuse that she experienced.

    In a perfect world there would be no need for violence, but this world is far from perfect...
    "It's a great life, if you don't weaken.". John Buchan

  3. #163
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    Ok fine.
    I guess training is another way to put it.

  4. #164
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    Itchy if I came to that situation with my children I may re think things.
    I am sorry your daughter went through that.

  5. #165
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
    Also violence is everywhere- maybe foreign systems are different but I doubt it since you have british! roots, but in america, violence seizes your money so that men with violent power can say what industry gets what favors. So, violence determines the water we drink, our power companies and municipal cliques and food supply and medicine. Then it becomes beer and sports in controlled environments lol
    Taxation is the most insidious form of violence in our culture, and we (most of us) blindly accept it.
    "It's a great life, if you don't weaken.". John Buchan

  6. #166
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    Train came across as negative at first but yes I guess it is what parents are doing in some way or another

  7. #167
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    Sorry I mean I took it as a negative thing as I didn't think about it properly before posting

  8. #168
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ayla2010 View Post
    Itchy if I came to that situation with my children I may re think things.
    I am sorry your daughter went through that.
    Thank you. We have five, the oldest two are out of the house, the next two are teens, and the youngest is eight.

    From our experience, all children will lie (especially at that age) until taught otherwise. Boys hit, also until taught to do otherwise. Your son will be in fights, some of them others will have started, some he will have started. Its part of being male, and its part of finding himself and his place in the world - there is nothing you can do to change this, nor do you want to. You can teach him to get along in this world and not to lie, cheat, steal, bully, or fight, but you can't take away his maleness.

    If you do your job well, he will not continue fighting into adulthood unless he has no other choice (there are still muggers and bullies in this world). Martial arts are excellent for boys and men alike, it teaches self-defense, it teaches anger control, and it teaches to never use your fighting skill unless it is to defend yourself or others. Very good for self-confidence too.

    Good luck!
    "It's a great life, if you don't weaken.". John Buchan

  9. #169
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    My son does want to do martial arts. Is 5 too young?
    I updated my other thread. It was not as bad as I thought.

  10. #170
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    I know there is violence out there and there may be a situation where defending yourself is needed. Maybe ill do martial arts too

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