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  1. #151
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    Absolutely, among them an absolute inability to empathize with any victims of violence anywhere ever. It will be a formula in the mind with the same force as an idea about roman engineering.
    "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

    Jack london, "Before Adam"

  2. #152
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    But the kids will probably make that conclusion on their own when they are violently able enough and pubescent and just go to violent music shows to get hit in the face and kicked and shit.
    "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

    Jack london, "Before Adam"

  3. #153
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    Also violence is everywhere- maybe foreign systems are different but I doubt it since you have british! roots, but in america, violence seizes your money so that men with violent power can say what industry gets what favors. So, violence determines the water we drink, our power companies and municipal cliques and food supply and medicine. Then it becomes beer and sports in controlled environments lol
    "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

    Jack london, "Before Adam"

  4. #154
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    No you are wrong.
    I'm out.

  5. #155
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louisa655 View Post
    I had very smart parents -- very patient parents --- very educated parents. I've never been struck - ever. Don't mistaken me for some emotionally traumatized child. My childhood was happy and I have raised 4, well-adjusted children --- and I hope they will raise my well-adjusted grandchildren. Nice try, though.
    I'm just trying to understand why you are conflating two very different acts in such emotional terms. I guess ignorance is as valid a reason as bad experience.

    My parents were probably quite dumb and uneducated in comparison. They maybe did OK on the patience front...hell, they've been married about 50 years so at least one of them must be patient. Dumb as posts though. They were attending a university (both on full academic scholarships) when they met, but that was in the 1960s and things were different back then. I have 3rd party (US gov't even) evidence that one of my parents had an IQ of only >160 and I doubt the average of their IQs was much above 150 even. They played the hand they were dealt and that's all anyone can do.

  6. #156
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ayla2010 View Post
    For those who do smack, where do you draw the line? Do you ever smack when you are calm, and rational? Or only angry.
    Bizarre question. Why are you getting angry at kids? Getting angry at children is insane IMO. When they are little it's like getting angry at a dog or something, and when they are older it's still rather pointless.

    I think I've seen one of my parents actually angry maybe once in my life, and it wasn't at me. They have disagreed with plenty of things/people, but that's not anger. The very few times they struck me (and since I was stubborn, not particularly bothered by pain, and pretty much saw myself as being on the same side as my parents against the world, vs fighting my parents, that wasn't often) you can be 100% sure that it was a calm rational choice on their part.

    I have never struck anyone in anger. Not as a child, and not as an adult I have struck in defense, I have struck to accomplish a goal, but never in anger. I've been in maybe 10 fights, all but one before I was 10, all with people at least 3 years older (e.g. I lit into a 16 year old when I was 9), and all following a pattern where they were bullying me or a friend and I was trying to make their life so miserable they would never want to mess with me or my friend again. Didn't always work out in my favor, but in hindsight it's funny to think about.

    When is it too much. Smack on the bum didn't work, so a slap on the face? Or pushing them into the wall? Still not listening? How about a punch in the face and then thrown into the wall.
    That's more insanity. You aren't fighting, you are punishing. X happens, Y is the result. It has to be fair and just.

    You probably had very intelligent, very patient, very well educated parents, but that's not what most people experience and it is not what most people are talking about with physical punishment. You don't fight with your kids, you train them. If it gets to fighting you are doing it wrong...and by 'it' I mean parenting in general.
    Last edited by Him; 02-11-2013 at 08:39 PM.

  7. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by Him View Post
    Bizarre question. Why are you getting angry at kids? Getting angry at children is insane IMO. When they are little it's like getting angry at a dog or something, and when they are older it's still rather pointless.

    I think I've seen one of my parents actually angry maybe once in my life, and it wasn't at me. They have disagreed with plenty of things/people, but that's not anger. The very few times they struck me (and since I was stubborn, not particularly bothered by pain, and pretty much saw myself as being on the same side as my parents against the world, vs fighting my parents, that wasn't often) you can be 100% sure that it was a calm rational choice on their part.

    I have never struck anyone in anger. Not as a child, and not as an adult to a child. I have struck in defense, I have struck to accomplish a goal, but never in anger.



    That's more insanity. You aren't fighting, you are punishing. X happens, Y is the result. It has to be fair and just.

    You probably had very intelligent, very patient, very well educated parents, but that's not what most people experience and it is not what most people are talking about with physical punishment. You don't fight with your kids, you train them. If it gets to fighting you are doing it wrong...and by 'it' I mean parenting in general.
    I had crap parents actually, which you would see if you read my other posts in this thread.
    I rarely get angry at my kids but if I have it's the only time I e thought of smacking.
    People get angry at their kids plenty

  8. #158
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    And train them? For real? They aren't dogs.

  9. #159
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    ie teaching them what is and isn't acceptable behavior
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  10. #160
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ayla2010 View Post
    I had crap parents actually, which you would see if you read my other posts in this thread.
    I rarely get angry at my kids but if I have it's the only time I e thought of smacking.
    People get angry at their kids plenty
    I just can't win.

    I know some people get angry at their kids. Some people cut themselves with razor blades too. It just doesn't make sense to me. Peeved at yourself for not knowing how to handle a situation? Sure. Been there. Angry at kids? Makes as much sense to be angry at your car for running out of gas.

    I think my mother's sister's husband was one of those people who got angry at his kids. I doubt he ever hit them, but I remember when I was maybe 18 watching his kids ... They would be doing something...say playing music, and doing fairly well when I was in the room. Then he walked in the room they would start doing it wrong. He would try to tell them what to do, and they would do it even more wrong. Finally he would get so angry that he left, and they would start laughing and go back to doing it right. They deliberately did stuff worse when he was around to wind him up, and he fell for it constantly. That seems like a dumb sort of familu dynamic to court, and it's probably the best case result you can expect from getting angry at kids. Not my sort of thing.
    Last edited by Him; 02-11-2013 at 09:03 PM.

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