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Thread: Hitting your kids page 13

  1. #121
    Ayla2010's Avatar
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    Primal Fuel
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
    Ayla you obviously miss the point of not using fear to teach lessons, because you keep repeating, "it's illegal in NZ" as if it has not occured to you that "illegal" is code for, "strange men will come and hurt and maybe kill you."



    because...(3rd time)- when you do this to your child specifically as mentioned in your thread, violence is still just an idea. Its a concept, a mystery word that mommy uses. When his lips swells up from a smack in the mouth though, he tastes violence and feels it. Then you can try words again, now that that word is no longer a concept, and is instead an experience label that makes his belly uncomfortable to dwell on.
    I said I took the illegal thing back, it was dumb, I admit that. Whether its illegal or not, doesn't change my view.

    I am sorry but no, I am not doing that to my children, and have them sit here in 20 years time, being upset and reminded about how I hurt them. I love my children, and am there to protect them. They are not objects, and things that are there for me to control. I am here to show them how to become good, loving people. And not that its OK to express your anger with your hands.
    Getting their emotions out using crying or talking is more important. If you bottle up anger it can over whelm you and you can take things too far.

  2. #122
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    Can we address though how soft and feeble we sound, collectively? People are still talking like a slap in the face is the same thing as an amputed hand.
    "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

    Jack london, "Before Adam"

  3. #123
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ayla2010 View Post
    I am sorry but no, I am not doing that to my children, and have them sit here in 20 years time, being upset and reminded about how I hurt them. I love my children, and am there to protect them. They are not objects, and things that are there for me to control. I am here to show them how to become good, loving people. And not that its OK to express your anger with your hands.
    Getting their emotions out using crying or talking is more important. If you bottle up anger it can over whelm you and you can take things too far.
    And if that works for you and your kids that is awesome I wish you the best of luck.
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  4. #124
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    Quote Originally Posted by cori93437 View Post
    And there still has not been a definitive answer on what constitutes "enough" spanking.
    A smack on the bottom.
    A smack on the hand.
    Smack them in the face... like the OP said... so it swells up?
    Multiple smacks on the bottom with your own hand?
    Multiple smacks on the bottom with some other implement? What implement is OK to use?
    an open handed swat on the bottom or hand is okay, in my opinion, when child insists on being turdly. and i'm not talking anxiety or hormonal freakouts. i mean seriously being a giant smelly turd for funsies

    a fist, a belt, a hanger, a switch, a hole-drilled paddle are not

    if the bottom swat is effective in making your child not be a turd, then that is the corporal punishment. if the swat does nothing, then grounding from favorite toy is the corporal punishment

    if grounding doesn't work then god help you, you spawned damian

    and i wanted to add in, before it's insinuated i'm a child beater again by whoever feels like saying it next, swats shouldn't be the first line of defense. getting child to understand okay and not-okay via words is a given
    Last edited by bloodorchid; 02-11-2013 at 06:58 PM.
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  5. #125
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    Quote Originally Posted by phigment View Post
    Paternal grandmother spanked me all the time. That is all that I remember of her. She died around when I was 6. Mom hit with whatever was in hand (belt, brush, plastic bag) but few and far times. She was more effective with guilt. Dad was not allowed to touch us.

    That is strange, do you know why not your dad?
    Why would someone else be allowed to smack your child? That seems crazy to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
    and meat has everything to do with it- you can't teach your kid that violence is wrong and feed him animals that were murdered and skinned and chopped up and cooked.
    Oh please. I am certain you are the ONLY one here who thinks that. It is no where near the same at all.
    You are tripping.

  6. #126
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
    Can we address though how soft and feeble we sound, collectively? People are still talking like a slap in the face is the same thing as an amputed hand.
    Yeah, maybe I am soft and feeble, but I don't see the need to smack a kid in the face.
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  7. #127
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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodorchid View Post
    an open handed swat on the bottom or hand is okay, in my opinion, when child insists on being turdly. and i'm not talking anxiety or hormonal freakouts. i mean seriously being a giant smelly turd for funsies

    a fist, a belt, a hanger, a switch, a hole-drilled paddle are not

    if the bottom swat is effective in making your child not be a turd, then that is the corporal punishment. if the swat does nothing, then grounding from favorite toy is the corporal punishment

    if grounding doesn't work then god help you, you spawned damian
    I am sorry, but in my parenting experience, my children do not act out just for the fun of it.
    It can be as simple as tiredness or hunger, or someone took something, and they aren't able to express to them that its not OK.
    There is always an underlying reason.

  8. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    And if that works for you and your kids that is awesome I wish you the best of luck.
    I hope you aren't being sarcastic.
    Hard to tell for sure.

    If not, thanks. If I get to the point where I can see what we are doing isn't working, then of course I will change something. But I will never ever hit them. I can be certain of that.

  9. #129
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
    Can we address though how soft and feeble we sound, collectively? People are still talking like a slap in the face is the same thing as an amputed hand.
    Do you have children?

  10. #130
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ayla2010 View Post
    I hope you aren't being sarcastic.
    Hard to tell for sure.

    If not, thanks. If I get to the point where I can see what we are doing isn't working, then of course I will change something. But I will never ever hit them. I can be certain of that.

    Yeah, sorry if it came across that way. I really do wish you the best. I want everyone's kids to turn out great. We need some better adults in this world
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

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