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Thread: Paleo/Primal one-liners/comebacks. page

  1. #1
    Kochin's Avatar
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    Paleo/Primal one-liners/comebacks.

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    For fun and for replies.

    "If I 'need' fiber to poop, what is peristalsis for?"

    *if someone asks you why you are eating so much fat* "I'm training my body to burn it." OR: "I'm practising burning it."

    "Don't you know how bad all that fat is for you?"
    "No. Don't you know how bad all that sugar is for you?"

    "'Carbs' is a fancy word for 'sugar'."

    "I prefer 'green carbs'." (Fruit and veg.)

    "But you need to eat every 3 hours! Otherwise you'll just crash and be hungry and tired and unproductive!"
    "I'd rather wait until I FEEL hungry than pre-empt it."

    "If you are what you eat, what would you rather be: an animal or a vegetable?"

    "Humans can't hunt without guns!"
    "OK, when I go to see some tribespeople, I'll tell them that."

    "Why is it that all the studies linking fat to poor health didn't bother to tell the difference between artificial and natural diets?"

    "Oh, a 'calorie is a calorie', is it? I'll just go tell my insulin to pack its bags then, as its job is clearly over and done."

    (From mi fiance's experience at work.)
    Co-worker: "I just can't stop eating these M&Ms!"
    *everyone around agrees that, once the bag is open, you MUST finish it*
    Fiance: Here, hand me one. *is given an M&M; places it on the table* Is it jumping into your mouth?
    *silence*
    Fiance: Then you CAN stop eating them. You can thank me later.

    "I'm being 'good' with my diet today. Having a low-fat yoghurt and a cereal bar for breakfast!"
    "Oh, I fancy being 'good' too. I'll be 'good' with my exercise by breaking a leg and 'good' with my sleep by staying up until 5."

    "Semi-skimmed milk is NOT the 'best of both worlds'. It is about as processed as dairy gets."

    "Fanta is NOT 'orange juice'. Chocolate milk is NOT 'healthy dairy'. Pasta with some 2000-ingredient cream sauce is NOT 'a balanced meal'."

    "How is 70% sugar a 'balanced' diet?"

    "Why is it that, without my 'filling grains', I stay fuller longer than you?"

    Have any more to share?
    --
    Perfection is entirely individual. Any philosophy or pursuit that encourages individuality has merit in that it frees people. Any that encourages shackles only has merit in that it shows you how wrong and desperate the human mind can get in its pursuit of truth.

    --
    I get blunter and more narcissistic by the day.
    I'd apologize, but...

  2. #2
    JoanieL's Avatar
    JoanieL is offline Senior Member
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    You have to eat to lose. Really? You might want to consult some people who have survived concentration camps about that.

    So, how exactly do you eat? I just look at everything the government advises and do the opposite.

    Can you eat mashed potatoes? Sure. Even with butter and cream? Especially with butter and cream - the potato is just the delivery system for the good stuff.
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

    We're men, Gus; the world is our toilet.

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    Kochin's Avatar
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    Good 'uns, Joanie!

    Another:
    "It's such a shame I can't eat grains anymore, because now I'm having to eat more bacon, chicken, yoghurt, nuts, bananas... Such torment!"
    --
    Perfection is entirely individual. Any philosophy or pursuit that encourages individuality has merit in that it frees people. Any that encourages shackles only has merit in that it shows you how wrong and desperate the human mind can get in its pursuit of truth.

    --
    I get blunter and more narcissistic by the day.
    I'd apologize, but...

  4. #4
    DinoHunter's Avatar
    DinoHunter is online now Senior Member
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    Said to someone (very obese)who was going on about the dangers of your body using fat to run on...

    "Yeah.. cause lord knows you wouldent want to loose any fat"
    Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

    http://primaldog.blogspot.co.uk/

  5. #5
    Mr. Anthony's Avatar
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    Fat Person: "Ugh, eating all that fat makes you fat."

    Me: [lifts shirt, shows raging six-pack, shrugs, eats more bacon]

  6. #6
    bloodorchid's Avatar
    bloodorchid is online now Senior Member
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    i feel some 'your mom' jokes trying to form

    i'll spare you all
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

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    Sandra in BC's Avatar
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    *beans are a good source of protein*

    "meat is a GREAT source of protein. And a tastier one too!"


    *all that bacon is bad for you*

    "no, its bad for YOU. Its fantastic for ME."

    *cutting out a whole food group like grains is bad for you*

    "grains are not a food group, they are a handful of ingredients."
    or
    "tell me one nutrient I'm not getting by eliminating grains"
    or
    "Its not ok for me to cut out a couple of ingredients and get my nutrition from optimal sources, yet its acceptable for vegetarians to cut out meat and then stuff themselves with mediocre protein beans and tofurkey"
    Sandra
    *My obligatory intro

    There are no cheat days. There are days when you eat primal and days you don't. As soon as you label a day a cheat day, you're on a diet. Don't be on a diet. ~~ Fernaldo

    DAINTY CAN KISS MY PRIMAL BACKSIDE. ~~ Crabcakes

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    At convenience stores, clerks always try to push me into putting a dollar in the "Juvenile Diabetes" charity thing, and I always tell them the same thing:

    "My dollar can't save kids whose food pyramid foundation is corn syrup."
    "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

    Jack london, "Before Adam"

  9. #9
    Paleobird's Avatar
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    "Sure I eat lots of vegetables. I just let the animals process them into food for me first."

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    LauraSB's Avatar
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    When I mention to people who are amazed by my weight loss and how great I look, that I've mostly given up bread, pasta and other grainy stuff, I sometimes get the "I could NEVER. I love my carbs."

    I used to be sympathetic, but for some reason, I'm just not any more. Now my response is, "Yeah, and a cutter loves her razor blades."
    50yo, 5'3"
    SW-195
    CW-125, part calorie counting, part transition to primal
    GW- Goals are no longer weight-related

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