For fun and for replies.

"If I 'need' fiber to poop, what is peristalsis for?"

*if someone asks you why you are eating so much fat* "I'm training my body to burn it." OR: "I'm practising burning it."

"Don't you know how bad all that fat is for you?"
"No. Don't you know how bad all that sugar is for you?"

"'Carbs' is a fancy word for 'sugar'."

"I prefer 'green carbs'." (Fruit and veg.)

"But you need to eat every 3 hours! Otherwise you'll just crash and be hungry and tired and unproductive!"
"I'd rather wait until I FEEL hungry than pre-empt it."

"If you are what you eat, what would you rather be: an animal or a vegetable?"

"Humans can't hunt without guns!"
"OK, when I go to see some tribespeople, I'll tell them that."

"Why is it that all the studies linking fat to poor health didn't bother to tell the difference between artificial and natural diets?"

"Oh, a 'calorie is a calorie', is it? I'll just go tell my insulin to pack its bags then, as its job is clearly over and done."

(From mi fiance's experience at work.)
Co-worker: "I just can't stop eating these M&Ms!"
*everyone around agrees that, once the bag is open, you MUST finish it*
Fiance: Here, hand me one. *is given an M&M; places it on the table* Is it jumping into your mouth?
Fiance: Then you CAN stop eating them. You can thank me later.

"I'm being 'good' with my diet today. Having a low-fat yoghurt and a cereal bar for breakfast!"
"Oh, I fancy being 'good' too. I'll be 'good' with my exercise by breaking a leg and 'good' with my sleep by staying up until 5."

"Semi-skimmed milk is NOT the 'best of both worlds'. It is about as processed as dairy gets."

"Fanta is NOT 'orange juice'. Chocolate milk is NOT 'healthy dairy'. Pasta with some 2000-ingredient cream sauce is NOT 'a balanced meal'."

"How is 70% sugar a 'balanced' diet?"

"Why is it that, without my 'filling grains', I stay fuller longer than you?"

Have any more to share?