Ci, I thought you guys had a heart-to-heart conversation not too long ago. I guess things didn't progress/improve from there?
About the waffling, I experience that too. I think it's probably normal. I imagine that most people experience that when they want to leave the person they've been with for a long time but aren't 100% about it. I wish I didn't have to experience those moments of wanting to stay...At this point, I wish he'd be more of an ass to me to make it easier for me to leave. Hah! Sometimes I wish that he would hit me. Just hit me once, and then it's over. Hah, I know I'm fucking weird.
I think you should maybe work on getting a job. Even having a part-time job, I think, will open things up to you and make you feel less stuck.
As for you QOTD, I met my group of close friends in college. Most of them are in CA still, and I've lived apart from them for 7 years. Unbelievable, really! I've never made any other friends to replace them. I mean, I made friends after moving to PA, even met someone with whom I'm very close (but she moved to NC a couple of months ago so now I have no one), but I have so many friends back home. And my closest friends--I don't think they can ever be replaced. We've gone through so much together. They've seen me through so much. I had all kinds of issues and problems when I was younger, and, through it all, our friendship survived. And because of all we've gone through, they really can't be replaced. They are like family to me. I don't have any siblings and am not close to my family at all. So they're all I have.