Originally Posted by ombat
I remember a few months back in my journal I made an entry called "THe ecstasy of a half eaten tomato", and it was about how I dreamed that one day I would be able to leave food on my plate if I wasn't hungry. Vacillate Wildly gave me the expression "Peace with Food". I had an active eating disorder for 13 years: sometimes more violent than others. And now... I actually think I'm getting to the point of peace. Time keeps going by, and not only am I not binging, but my diet isn't so polarised anymore (healthy vs unhealthy). I'm having treats on a regular basis and they don't spark a binge-restrict cycle.
Originally Posted by CiKi90
My point is that I have every faith that you will get there. If I can break ingrained programming of 13 years, then you can too It just takes time, but it also takes a lot of awareness, which I can see you constantly expanding. So kudos to you!
I actually wanted to apologise if I was a bit forceful in telling you to eat more. I know how annoying that can be (people always used to say it to me when I was skinny). So I'm sorry if my suggestions are ever too blunt <3
Originally Posted by CiKi90
I would never suggest choking food down that you don't want to eat, but I'm guessing that if you're waking up hungry then you're not eating enough. Is your last meal of the day very veggie-heavy? That would make you feel full temporarily but won't give you the sleep that you need. There's nothing wrong with having those late night snacks, physically, but psychologically you seem to struggle with them, so it might be worth trying a few N=1s with evening meals to find a combo that helps eliminate late night snacking.
Also, in relation to eating more and gaining: there was a time when I was gaining weight on 1,500 cals a day. Now I eat more than 2,000 per day (estimation: i don't count) and I'm losing. This is a big head shift, but I decided to put aside six months to let my true appetite and body emerge. I have faith that by the end of that period I'll be able to eat what I want, and I'll have a body I'm comfortable with. I realise that I can't implement anything anymore that is not sustainable, long term, and the best way to find out what is sustainable is to realise who you are. For me, that comes with space, freedom and observation.
Also, I read a lot of accounts from women on this forum who said they started losing when they started eating more. Obviously there are different extremes but, in a nutshell: eating more does not always equate putting on fat.
"I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.
In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."
- Ray Peat