Wow. That was incredible to read and so powerfully insightful. All I can say is that you're right, 100%. You are so right... it hurts my brain to think in such a perspective.Cierra, this is going to sound really harsh through text, but I promise you it comes from a place of love and acceptance.
The universe is mental; it is nothing but a thought in your mind. So you have to realize that you are imperfect because you've chosen to be. You have purposefully created a pot that is too big - one you could never fill. And that's fine, but the moment you decide that you want to live in a world of light and acceptance, then you will. Just like that. But you have to make that deision. The stories of why you're not enough, why expectations of you are too high; all of these destructive, soul torturing stories are all tales of your own creation. No one made you believe anything about yourself. People have told you things and you have chosen to interpret them a certain way. But you have all the power in the world to change your mind and that is a fact. This is your life and your reality and when you decide what you want, that's all it takes.You are strong and you know it. You have tremendous power whether you believe it or not because there's no other option. People hate to hear this; they get angry and defensive because they want to blame anyone but themselves for the years of self hatred, lack of motivation, misfortune, whathaveyou. But there's no one here but you. And that should relieve you of all the self imposed negativity that you've ever felt. Because look around you. Do any of these people matter? Your friends, your family, your SO, YB and I don't matter because we're all a figment of your imagination. No one exists without you. So why do you create these negative people and attach negative feelings to them and, by extension, yourself?
All those people who seem to regard themselves as "more" than they are are the ones who have gotten it right. They understand the power of the mind: the only power in the universe.
I've always loved the first two lines of that poem, YB.