Primal Journal- the return of myself
I am posting my new journal here on MDA for hope of some inspiration, support and accountability. A little background about myself: I live in the city, attend medical school as a career change- and have basically dedicated my life, my health, and and semblance of a social circle to studying.
My health history- I was always a bit of a puffy kid, nothing extreme but I always was on the bigger end of the spectrum, and you could never really describe me as petite. Must be my peasant eastern european blood. Anyway, I slimmed out dramatically as a teenager and was a fab 125-130 and 5'7 until university. In university I began to emotionally eat- staying up late devouring boxes of cereal, snickers etc. And went up to 142 the biggest I have ever been. Then I lost the weight in an unhealthy way (will exclude details) and was back down to 118 and felt wonderful even though I was destroying my body. I guess the beating I put on my body and my horomones ended up with me having really weird body changes and was eventually diagnosed with PCOS at the age of 25. I previously had never had any sign or symptom of that condition. On the rollercoaster or weightgain weightloss I went... and now 4 years later have basically ended up in the 155 range. I understand that it is an okay weight, but for my body type and size it is wayyyy to much. I want to fit into my old clothes again and feel comfortable and not feel all this jiggling in my belly. And I can never stay away from the sugar long enough and my intense food cravings to lose the weight properly. The fight sorta went out of me. And now with this crazy lifestyle of a medical student- intense stress, chronic sleep deprivation, strange eating habits- well you get the picture.
I have been floating around MDA for the past 6 months, trying time and time again to get on the band wagon only to fall off again horribly. Always around day 5 of the 21 day challenge some stress comes up that finds me responding with muffin in hand and missing my gym sessions. I have had recent blood work and triglycerides look great except that my fasting blood sugar has been spotty and my HA1c is 5.3. With the insulin resistance and PCOS, the only way I am looking at treating this thing is by following good eating habits and healing my body before some serious damage ensues. So today is day 1 AGAIN. I think what always gets me is the cravings and my stress response. Because today for example, I woke up craving a muffin, and 4 hours later I am still craving that same damn muffin. By brain is literally so focused on this stupid muffin that I can't get it together and study. Im gonna try and sit tight...and I guess writing this thing helps.
What I plan on eating today
B: 2 pieces of bacon, eggs with veggies black coffee
L: salad with chicken drumsticks
D: salad with chicken drumsticks
S: coconut flakes
Today's weight 151.4