Getting wife to become Primal. page

[CavemanJoe]

This is a greater challenge than eliminating pizza from my diet.

The biggest problem - and probably the only problem - is the fact that she's an incredibly fussy eater and hates fat (unless it's minced meat or nuts). Oilive oil, olives, avocados, animal fat (not rendered like tallow or lard), you name it....NOTHING!

Has anyone else been in a situation like I am? Did you change your partner's mind somehow?

Edit: although she does like fish, it's pretty expensive to buy on a regular basis!

[sarahelyse]

I was trying to convince my family to switch to primal when I lived with them. My mom is the same - super fussy. We reached an agreement where the main dish for dinner would be something primal (easy because we always just made it meat based) and then everyone could pick their own sides and eat what they wanted. It worked fairly well.

[Zeera]

How long have you been primal? If this is only the beginning of your journey I think one of the best ways to gently nudge her in the right direction would be to quietly lead by example. Once she sees how much healthier and energetic you have become she may be more inclined to try it out and conquer her aversion to fat.

On that same token, have you talked to her about why she hates fat? Is it a mouthfeel/flavor issue or more of a psychological "fat will make me fat" sort of thing? If it's the latter I would give her the Primal Blueprint to read and have her brows MDA's archives a bit to make her understand that fat is not the enemy. Also, you could try cooking a variety of meals that don't come off as inherently fatty. There are many ways to prepare meat and veggies, and not every dish needs to be dripping in some kind of fat. Good luck!

[primalrob]

you've got to let her come at things on her own. if she doesn't want to be primal, she won't be primal. however, i do think it is right for you to make some diet recommendations...nothing with a label though. if you're going to push certain foods, push whole foods. that will bring your diets together more.

[solstice]

I was annoying as all heck when I started with GF and then more primal. Hubby took YEARS to get on board but finally is...not saying it was an easy path though. Some people do better with less pushing and prodding and more encouragement (wait, maybe we ALL do better that way?!)

[Primal Pamme]

Having been in your wife's position, don't push. My Hubby was primal for about a year and a half before I became primal, which really meant I was mostly primal in his presence. He was so judgmental when it came to foods that it turned me off and just made me go underground with eating foods he didn't approve of. The whole time I was reading what he was reading. I just didn't have the motivation to go totally primal while he did, because of food allergies.

His pressure was not what made me become primal, it was health concerns. I found out that several of my family members had become diabetic and having had gestational diabetes, it was very likely I would also become diabetic if I didn't kick my sugar addiction. So, I did, mostly.

My journey to primal was different than his, but there have been enough similarities that when he starts judging me for some infraction I can remind him that where I am now is where he was a year ago, so back off.

So, my advice is to back off. Her diet, her business. She may or may not become primal and that is OK. Accept her for who she is and where she is right now. It is a total turn off to have someone judging you for every morsel of black listed food you put in your mouth. It will only push her away.

[Khaleesi]

Hmmm good advice.

[MEversbergII]

You could go hard and remind her (like I am with my S.O.) that you're not going to foot the bill for her medical problems.

M.

[sbhikes]

Has anyone else been in a situation like I am? Did you change your partner's mind somehow?
I have and am in a situation like yours. I have not had much success and if anything any effort to change his mind has been more of a set-back than an advancement so I don't try anymore.

What I do is this:
- Cook low and moderate fat foods (chicken, fish, lean steak, steamed vegetables) most of the time and serve butter on the side. I like to watch him take the butter when sometimes I don't even take any. I just smile to myself on the inside.

- When I do cook something fatty (lamb, pork) I let him select the portion size. He always takes the smallest amount. He's not too upset because I always make steamed veggies so that makes him feel virtuous.

- If he serves things I don't want to eat, I don't eat them. I don't eat the pasta but I eat the sauce over a sweet potato, for example. I might take ONE of something I don't want to eat so he doesn't get his feelings hurt, and then I make something else to eat later. I also will eat the Indian food (lentils and chickpeas) and I'm okay with the big cheese and cracker nosh-sessions he's fond of. I'll have the cheese, herring, olives and he can have the crackers and hummus.

- Now and then I'll make two separate meat items. A big steak or hunk of liver for me and a leftover chicken breast for him. He doesn't mind at all. He thinks I'm being extra NICE to him. Can you believe it? I'm getting the steak and he thinks I'm being generous. Ha ha!!

I noticed he almost always breaks out his nuts and chips after dinner for a giant pig-out session, so it's not like he's truly satisfied with the low-fat menu he demands, but I just go along with whatever inconsistencies in his totally dug-in position to keep the peace. Slowly I'm winning, though, and I don't think he's noticing.

[itchy166]

I was really lucky as my wife and I decided to start this together. As Zeera said above, you could easily cook meals that ARE primal, but wouldn't be recognized as such. Just good, healthy meals from scratch.