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Thread: Funny CW moments page 836

  1. #8351
    Karock's Avatar
    Karock is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by thehallowprince View Post
    The size of our bones has nothing to do with the size of our guts, and I like to point that out whenever I hear the phrase "big boned."
    I have very much grown to like the phrase "Bones don't jiggle" for exactly that scenario.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Anthony View Post
    Every time someone says they're "big boned", I want to offer to pay for them to go get an x-ray. I want to see a fat skeleton; I've never seen one and would gladly pay for the experience.
    I think that is probably the best thing I've read on the internet today.
    Last edited by Karock; 04-09-2014 at 01:10 PM.

  2. #8352
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    Quote Originally Posted by SerialSinner View Post
    I went to a diner in CT some time ago and ordered a steak and a salad. The waitress asked how I wanted it cooked, and I said medium rare.

    This is what I got:

    A salad with potatoes and corn, with thousand island dressing and sweet sauerkraut. A big portion of macaroni with a thick and creamy white sweat sauce on them.

    My steak, which was perfectly cooked, had barbecue sauce on top.

    What is one to do...
    I went to a monthly birthday luncheon with my 90-year-old aunt in her retirement community. Menu was juice, salad pre-dressed with sugary dressing and croutons, meat with a sweet sauce on it, rolls, a veggie of some sort, and frosting-covered cake. Guess they don't want to keep their residents around too long.

  3. #8353
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    A trainer at the gym was working with a super-skinny woman. She told her, "Yeah, we'll add a good amount of muscle to your frame; you'll really like how you look like that." I was just finishing squats, and hoped against hope she was going to get this woman in the squat cage.

    Nope. She spent the next 30 minutes basically making her step up and down on a 6 inch high balance ball.

    Sent via lightsaber

  4. #8354
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    Jefferson1775 is online now Senior Member
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    Hmmm, the trainers at my gym usually recommend pushups on a Bosu ball or DB bench presses with them big ol' 5 lb'ers.
    In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock.

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  5. #8355
    thehallowprince's Avatar
    thehallowprince is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Anthony View Post
    A trainer at the gym was working with a super-skinny woman. She told her, "Yeah, we'll add a good amount of muscle to your frame; you'll really like how you look like that." I was just finishing squats, and hoped against hope she was going to get this woman in the squat cage.

    Nope. She spent the next 30 minutes basically making her step up and down on a 6 inch high balance ball.

    Sent via lightsaber
    One must beg to question how she expects to get "a good amount of muscle" onto her frame...
    March 1st 2010: 308lbs | CW: 219lbs / 18.5%BF | New Goal: 16% BF
    Male. 28. 6'4''. Currently working on them muscles and strength!

    "My chest hair caught fire when I was fighting a bear with a flamethrower, how do I get my hair back? - Rivvin

  6. #8356
    thehallowprince's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karock View Post
    I have very much grown to like the phrase "Bones don't jiggle" for exactly that scenario.
    OH that is perfection!
    March 1st 2010: 308lbs | CW: 219lbs / 18.5%BF | New Goal: 16% BF
    Male. 28. 6'4''. Currently working on them muscles and strength!

    "My chest hair caught fire when I was fighting a bear with a flamethrower, how do I get my hair back? - Rivvin

  7. #8357
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    Quote Originally Posted by thehallowprince View Post
    One must beg to question how she expects to get "a good amount of muscle" onto her frame...
    From the tricep kickbacks they will do tomorrow.

  8. #8358
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    I recently moved and I found a health food store pretty close by so I ran in thinking I would pick up some gelatin, easy-peasy. I asked the guy there if he had any and he basically scoffed at me, "No, I don't carry that pig stuff. It's made with skins, tendons, bones, and brains and I won't ever stock it."

    I'm thinking to myself, yup, what's your point? Then he tried to recommend agar flakes No, I want gelatin because it has skins and tendons in it! Later while poking around the store it dawned on me, everything is plant based. Damn soy. Who told the vegan he could have the only health store around?
    You are an animal on this planet and the rules of engagement are non negotiable.

  9. #8359
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    DUDE: It's all natural. Corn is natural. Anyone can grow corn. More liberal propaganda just like global warming. Hippies.
    6 hrs Like

    ME: Ha ha ha. Corn is not food!
    59 mins Like

    DUDE Really? Have you ever had corn on the cob? That's some damn good food.
    37 mins Like

    ME It's technically FEED, not food. Not that I wouldn't eat it if my mother-in-law served it to me, that would be rude. But you won't catch me wasting money on grains.
    35 mins Like

    DUDE Then feed me more.
    34 mins Like

    ME Go for it.
    2 mins Like

    ME I understand Wal-Mart has a great price on Round-Up if you want to dip it in there for flavor.
    2 mins Like


    Turquoisepassion:
    Knifegill is christened to be high carb now!
    notontherug:
    the buttstuff...never interested.
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    Flubby tubby gums latching onto me
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  10. #8360
    Wildrose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaveBug View Post
    I recently moved and I found a health food store pretty close by so I ran in thinking I would pick up some gelatin, easy-peasy. I asked the guy there if he had any and he basically scoffed at me, "No, I don't carry that pig stuff. It's made with skins, tendons, bones, and brains and I won't ever stock it."

    I'm thinking to myself, yup, what's your point? Then he tried to recommend agar flakes No, I want gelatin because it has skins and tendons in it! Later while poking around the store it dawned on me, everything is plant based. Damn soy. Who told the vegan he could have the only health store around?
    This is why I like my local health store... I don't recall them stocking gelatine, I should ask, but all kinds of organic/free range animal parts? Oh yes. I love their chicken soup carcasses...

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