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Thread: Funny CW moments

  1. #7541
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    The Dutch lowlands
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyborcat View Post
    I'm an athiest--I just make it a point to not talk about it.
    I'm trying as well but I really enjoy discussing religion. I'm really open about all religions and people's opinion but I love to play the devil's advocate.... that's what causing my issues. But I'll visit the South one day. I think I would really enjoy it...
    My story, My thought....

    It's all about trying to stay healthy!!!!

  2. #7542
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    NYC (and ATX)
    I never talked about being atheist even in Austin tx. Just not a good idea.

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  3. #7543
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Quote Originally Posted by texas.grok View Post
    All of this Yankee talk reminded me of this, rules for Yankee's moving to the South:

    - Don't order a steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know.

    - Don't laugh at folk's names. Merleen, Bodie, Luther Ray, Tammy, MariBeth and Inez have been known to whip a man's a** for less than that.

    - Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda; this can lead to a beating. Down here it's called Coke, even if you want a Pepsi.

    - Southern women don't fancy to smart mouth Yankees. Just remember, they all have brothers and daddies.

    - Don't show allegiances to any other school in football other than an ACC or SEC team. All the others are a bunch of candy asses who play Wyoming every week.

    - Don't call us a bunch of hillbillies. Most of us are better educated than you and a whole lot nicer to boot.

    - Yes, we know the humidity is high; just quit b*tching, spend your money and go home.

    - No, the state symbol of North Carolina is not the orange and white highway barrel. This road construction is pissing us off too.

    - Don't go to the Cracker Barrel and order toast. If you do this everyone will know you're from Ohio. Just eat the biscuits like God meant for you to do.

    - Don't try to talk with a Southern accent if you don't have one. Nothing makes us madder than a Southern wannabe.

    - Don't be telling everybody how much better it was back home. If you don't like it here, get your sorry a** back home!

    - We don't play lacrosse or none of them other sissy northern games, so don't be asking about no scores, cause we just don't care.

    - Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.

    - If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba." You have a 75% chance of being right.

    - Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

    - If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

    - Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.

    - Do not buy food at the movie store.

    - If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.

    - Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

    - Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

    - People walk slower here.

    - Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

    - The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new Southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.

    - The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

    - Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.

    This one, "Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it." reminds me of my granny. She had an old coffee can that sit by the stove and every time she fried bacon, ham or any pork, the grease was poured into that can. If she was cooking a steak, a spoon full of that grease went into the skillet. About the only thing better than a steak is a steak cooked in pork fat!

    One that isn't on here is this....

    In the South, we still call the Civil War the War of Northern Aggression and yep, we are still pissed about losing!

    And if this pisses off any of the PC crowd, tough shit. I'm far from racist, a picture of my family would show that but the War of Northern Aggression was never about slavery, it was state's rights but, I don't want to turn this thread the wrong direction so I'll shutup now.


    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    I heard it as rules for folks movin' to TX. It also included:
    -Don't be surprised when crossing the state is a 2 day drive.
    -"Bless your heart" is not a compliment.
    -It is perfectly acceptable to drive a tractor down the middle of the road. Get over it.
    -We have 4 seasons: Hot, Holy s**t hot, football, and frigid. In parts of Texas, it's futbol, not football, and there is a difference.
    -At a 4 way stop, athe truck with the highest lift and biggest tires has right of way.
    -Right of way makes no difference here. There are two rules of the road: "Get outta my way" and "You first." Do not assume you know which one is to be used.
    -If offered a beer/ drink, take it. You don't hafta drink it, just take it, or you insult the homeowner.
    -Sweet tea is "tea." If you want unsweetened tea, you hafta specify.
    - We were our own state, and G******t, we can be one again. Accept that mentality.
    and true...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sabine View Post
    I remember when Nancy Pelosi said "bless their hearts" about the Senate. I fell about laughing. That said, someone blessed my heart just yesterday for giving her some space at the grocery, so I guess it can be used ambidexterously.
    a worker at Walmart said that to me when I asked if he could find the price of something...yeah, like I don't know what he meant... :/

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  4. #7544
    canio6's Avatar
    canio6 Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Cyborcat View Post
    I'm an athiest--I just make it a point to not talk about it.
    My mom is an atheist and used to write to the paper often to argue with whatever oppressive agenda the local politicians/churches were pushing. They actually offered her a weekly column.

  5. #7545
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    I'm in the heart of Bible Belt West Texas and consider myself a Zen semipagan. You learn to keep your mouth shut, smile at the intent behind the offers for prayers, and bless the hearts of those who try to convert you.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Latest Journal

  6. #7546
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Sacramento, CA
    I've been pretty adamant about not letting Memphis influence me too much.

    Pretty much all I'm gonna take back with me is "I'll tell you what ...", pimento cheese, Southern Comfort, and leopard print everything =P
    My Blog where I talk about my experiences with improving my health and life
    (I try to update ... once in awhile)

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  7. #7547
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Georgia, USA
    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    -Sweet tea is "tea." If you want unsweetened tea, you hafta specify.
    I am a Georgia resident, born and raised, and I know this to be true. With that in mind, my mom and I ate at Red Lobster this past week. When our server, came for our drink order I said 'tea'.

    Our drinks arrived and I just knew the tea was going to be sweet; a tentative sip through the straw proved me right. ACK! It was awful, and I just wanted to scrape the sweetness from my tongue.

    As a southerner, I understand that in the South tea is sweetened, but Red Lobster should be the exception as a restaurant that is supposed to represent Maine (New England).

    I had a new glass of tea soon after and it was actually decent and not bitter at all. Now, that I think about it, it probably wasn't real tea but some kind of colored water with tea flavoring. *sigh*

  8. #7548
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    tea flavored sugar water
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.

  9. #7549
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Quote Originally Posted by Goldie View Post
    So how's about posting her apple crumble recipe?
    Peel and core the apples. Slice them in sections. Toss with cinnamon, nutmeg and sugar. Place in a pie plate. Mix together sugar, butter and oatmeal until crumbly and dot on top of the apple mixture. I usually add some chopped nuts to the crumble mixture and mash the ingredients together with a fork until crumbly. You need to let the butter soften a bit, but not too much. Bake as you would a pie about an hour at 350. The apples should be soft and the liquid should be bubbling. The top will be slightly browned and crisp. You can adjust the ingredients to your liking.

    This is her original recipe. She told me recently that she now uses mostly nuts, chopped pecans, walnuts, or almonds. Think I'll be making this for Christmas this year. And maybe if I can figure it out in time, a persimmon pudding with all those persimmons in the Korean markets.

  10. #7550
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Georgia, USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodorchid View Post
    tea flavored sugar water

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