Hey, at least it was raw meat! (Tartar is meant to be eaten raw, right?)
Me: Can I boil some eggs to take with me (to my internship) tomorrow?
Mom: Su- take some eggs with you?!
Me: I said can I boil some eggs.
Mom: Oh, that's OK. I read that you can only eat two eggs a week.
Me: *fake horror* Evil Eeeeevil cholestrol!
Me: I'll just take one egg a day with me. (Thinking: NOOOOO, MY EGGS!! )
Mom: Then it's fine. *gives instructions on how to boil eggs*