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Thread: Funny CW moments page 565

  1. #5641
    magnolia1973's Avatar
    magnolia1973 is offline Senior Member
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    pancakes
    2 sausage links
    oatmeal
    orange juice
    milk
    coffee
    I guess they thought you needed to carb up. Hospital food is the worst. I remember the night before my husband had brain surgery and they brought him a turkey sandwich, chips and some orange drink. He was a vegetarian. I felt so bad thinking that might be his last meal.... so went out to find him something better..... lol and the best I could find was cold pizza.

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  2. #5642
    onalark's Avatar
    onalark is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by athomeontherange View Post
    morning after my hysterectomy they bring me breakfast:

    pancakes
    2 sausage links
    oatmeal
    orange juice
    milk
    coffee

    *cried*
    Pancakes AND oatmeal? whaaaaat?

    I bet the sausage was turkey sausage too or something.

  3. #5643
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    After my hysterectomy they let me choose what I wanted. Two orders of bacon and 3 eggs. I had to tell them multiple times that I DID NOT WANT TOAST.
    Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

  4. #5644
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    When I had my first kid, I lost a lot of blood. Instead of just automatically giving me a transfusion, my old school doc ordered a big hunk of beef for my dinner.

    Sadly, he retired before I got pregnant the 2nd time.
    My sorely neglected blog - http://ThatWriterBroad.com

  5. #5645
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    athomeontherange is online now Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by honeybuns View Post
    After my hysterectomy they let me choose what I wanted. Two orders of bacon and 3 eggs. I had to tell them multiple times that I DID NOT WANT TOAST.
    they just said, here is breakfast.. ugh.. it was awful. I drank a lot of broth.
    Karin


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  6. #5646
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    You may remember the coworker who advised me that potato chips and popcorn would make great "vegetables" for my toddler. I saw her again recently and she actually remembered that conversation. Round 2 went something like this:

    Her: Oh hey so how did it go with vegetables for your kid? Popcorn's always a big hit right?
    Me: Um, I don't consider chips and popcorn to really be _vegetables_. So I got her going with broccoli and carrots and stuff instead.
    Her: So how do you cook them to hide them? Or do you use dip?
    Me: I just cut 'em up and hand them over. Raw. No dip.
    Her: What, even broccoli?!
    Me: Yeah, we told her it's like eating little trees.
    Her: Oh well she'll see through THAT soon enough.
    Me: Uh, well, so anyway, see you around! *run away*
    "Trust me, you will soon enter a magical land full of delicious steakflowers, with butterbacons fluttering around over the extremely rompable grass and hillsides."

  7. #5647
    Mr. Anthony's Avatar
    Mr. Anthony is online now Senior Member
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    My buddy's girlfriend has been constantly griping about putting on 20 lbs or so recently. Since I'm the healthy one (read "have abs") of our group of friends, the other day she asked me if I could put together a nutrition plan for her to lose weight, and get back to her. I said "sure, write this down right now: Eat meat and veggies. Some fruit and nuts. Good fats. Don't eat grains or sugars. Done and done."

    She stood there for a minute and looked confused, then said "...so...no pasta? Or sugar in my Starbucks?"

    "Nope."

    Then she got a look on her face like I had just murdered her yappy little Maltese.

    Hey, don't ask for help if you don't want it.

  8. #5648
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Anthony View Post
    ..."sure, write this down right now: Eat meat and veggies. Some fruit and nuts. Good fats. Don't eat grains or sugars. Done and done."

    She stood there for a minute and looked confused, then said "...so...no pasta? Or sugar in my Starbucks?"

    "Nope."...
    Hey, don't ask for help if you don't want it.
    I like that. I have been asked what I am doing to lose the weight and that is a perfect way to explain it.
    Male, 32y, 6'0" tall
    SW 306lbs (6/1/12)
    CW 244lbs (1/17/13)

    BP down from 120/80 to 110/74

  9. #5649
    Alex Good's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Anthony View Post
    My buddy's girlfriend has been constantly griping about putting on 20 lbs or so recently. Since I'm the healthy one (read "have abs") of our group of friends, the other day she asked me if I could put together a nutrition plan for her to lose weight, and get back to her. I said "sure, write this down right now: Eat meat and veggies. Some fruit and nuts. Good fats. Don't eat grains or sugars. Done and done."

    She stood there for a minute and looked confused, then said "...so...no pasta? Or sugar in my Starbucks?"

    "Nope."

    Then she got a look on her face like I had just murdered her yappy little Maltese.

    Hey, don't ask for help if you don't want it.
    On the plus side you probably looked like some stoic viking age hero to them.
    In all of the universe there is only one person with your exact charateristics. Just like there is only one person with everybody else's characteristics. Effectively, your uniqueness makes you pretty average.

  10. #5650
    onalark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    You may remember the coworker who advised me that potato chips and popcorn would make great "vegetables" for my toddler. I saw her again recently and she actually remembered that conversation. Round 2 went something like this:

    Her: Oh hey so how did it go with vegetables for your kid? Popcorn's always a big hit right?
    Me: Um, I don't consider chips and popcorn to really be _vegetables_. So I got her going with broccoli and carrots and stuff instead.
    Her: So how do you cook them to hide them? Or do you use dip?
    Me: I just cut 'em up and hand them over. Raw. No dip.
    Her: What, even broccoli?!
    Me: Yeah, we told her it's like eating little trees.
    Her: Oh well she'll see through THAT soon enough.
    Me: Uh, well, so anyway, see you around! *run away*
    Dip. Dip is the enemy. I'm sure of it.

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