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Thread: Funny CW moments page 486

  1. #4851
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    Quote Originally Posted by Warmbear View Post
    I never broke any of my own bones, other kids, ehhhhh kinda sorta. Kids will be kids and if they don't need to be hosed off before coming back in, it ain't a childhood.

    My Mom always said get out and come back when yer hungry so I learned to fish and hunt and wandered back eventually. My mom had to insist I come home at night or I would stay out in the woods all week.

    My kids? you cant peel him off the computer and he gets tired if he has to walk the dog. this summer it is going to be a 3 month boot camp of fire making, biking, general mischief and getting hosed off sometimes. Bout time the boy learns something.
    my kid screams when she is confined inside for any amount of time. Its a fight to get her to come in at night sometimes she is so busy on her scooter, her bike, playing tag and other games. Afternoons at the local pool though have helped release a bunch of energy for her though.
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  2. #4852
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    Quote Originally Posted by Warmbear View Post
    My Mom always said get out and come back when yer hungry so I learned to fish and hunt and wandered back eventually. My mom had to insist I come home at night or I would stay out in the woods all week.
    WOW that sounds like my childhood exactly! I grew up waaaay out in the sticks. I wouldn't come in from fishing, exploring, bike riding and tree-fort-building until I was so hungry, dirty, cold, and mosquito-bitten that I'd put up with a hosing-off just to get some hot dinner and hit the sack. Our parents taught us what kinds of snakes and insects were poisonous, not to steal or vandalize anything, and kicked us out of the house to play. It was the opposite of helicopter parenting. Kids these days with their television and video games, they don't know what fun they're missing!

    Teach kiddo to build a fort and bait a hook this summer!

  3. #4853
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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    Yeah, but I was referring to the mouse over comment. Prob wishful thinking on my end.
    My CW moment today is more of a helicopter parent moment. I was at a playground with my niece a few nights ago, watching her while I swung on a swing. A little kid started climbing onto the swing next to me. I stopped swinging and turned to help him out and offer him a push (his legs didn't quite reach the ground.) His mom (I'm assuming) came sprinting across the playground and scooped him out of the swing. "Why were you on the swing? I've told you, you could fall out of the swing and crack your skull or someone could take you." (Mind you, this is a semi modern one with the soft rubber padding for ground, not gravel.)
    She turned to me, probably to chew me out, and I smiled and said "I fell out of several swings myself growing up. Worst that happened is I gave myself a bruise."
    "Yes, but little Juvie is special and shouldn't get bruises or cuts."
    "Oh, he has a clotting disorder. I'm sorry. I had no idea. I'll watch out for him then."
    "No, he doesn't. He's a little kid, Little kids shouldn't get bruises or cuts ever."
    Ow, I think I just gave myself a headache with the biggest eyeroll EVER.

    If she saw my kids she'd probably think I was abusing them, with all the skinned knees, cuts and bruises they have on their legs and arms from playing outside. When I was a kid, every new skinned knee or random cut was a badge of honor, and an indication of a great day outside. I admit, when the boys were much younger I was worried about them falling out of swings and stuff, but I still let them play, just with supervision. Now that they're 5 and 8, I kick them out the door on nice days. We have a big backyard and they go over to the neighbor boy's house too, so their adventures usually have them ranging between the two yards.

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  4. #4854
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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    I wanna know- How's little Johnny gonna know all this shit and what NOT to do when he grows up after being helicopter parented?
    They even had to write a book to solve this problem - The Dangerous Book for Boys. Parents try to protect little Johnny from every little cut or bruise, and then when he's a teenager, he goes out and does STUPID b/c he has never learned judgment and just wants to have fun.

    I freak people out all the time b/c I let my toddlers crawl toward the edge of the dock/pool and am not holding them. I know they're not going over. I've had five children who crawl to the edge, ,look over, and KNOW it would be stupid to get in. They never get in. (And I also know they can't drown before I can get to them in 1.5 sec.)

    That never stops from grandparents running, screaming, toward the child in panic, and nearly scaring him in.

    I kick the kids out, let them have no more than half hour "screen time" per day, and insist they go outside even in the cold and rain (as long as it's not lighting/hailing/etc.).

    Quote Originally Posted by Owly View Post
    I'm actually sort of shocked that I never broke a major bone as a kid. Toes and fingers, yes, and then my nose in my teens, but my significant breaks have been in adult life.
    Judging by Weston Price's skull photos (modern skulls are much thinner than pre-colombian (read: pre-agricultural) skulls), bones break more easily with every generation. I would imagine this to be even more true with the kids today, born to low-fat (read: no bone-essential vit A/D/K2) mothers.


    On the ER front, one kid gashed his head on the concrete, I took him in, and they stapled it WITHOUT CLEANING IT IN ANY WAY. (the only reason I took him in was to be sure it was well cleansed) So another kid did the same two years later and I just washed it, H2O2'd it, betadine'd it, and butterfly-bandaged it. Healed in two days, no swelling, no pain, no staples, no co-pay, no idiot doctor potentially sealing bacteria into the wound.
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  5. #4855
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    I agree about the over-protectiveness in general. We have always let our son do things that many would not. But, just to put a different perspective on things, we probably were viewed as over-protective by the general public for a very good reason. Our son suffered from sensory integration dysfunction as a young child and one of the affects was that he didn't perceive pain normally. So, when he had a mishap, we were pretty prone to check it out immediately because he never cried no matter what the trauma. He had a head on head collision with a bigger kid when he was about three where the other kid was almost knocked out and was crying. Our son just shook it off and kept on playing. We swooped in fairly quickly being more than a little concerned about the situation and even a possible concussion. We were probably looked at as over-protective by observers because he did not even appear phased. He ended up with a huge knot on his head too, so it was no minor incident.

    But I agree with the general assessment here...society is drifting to a extremist view of absolute risk avoidance. Failure to accept risk sucks life out of the soul. No wonder anti-depressants are so widely prescribed.

  6. #4856
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    Personally, I'm jealous of kids with over-protective parents. But that's because my mother was under-protective. She didn't give a shit even if I was hurt. I remember, on multiple occasions, wailing on the ground after being hurt badly and her flat-out ignoring me, or sighing exasperatedly and dragging her feet.

    I appreciate you all saying how you don't coddle your children, and that you allow them to go out and get cuts and bruises without holding them back so that they learn for themselves. But it kind of feels to me like you're all championing the neglectful lack of concern that I received as a child, and it makes me feel kind of sick and like I should say something.

    I know I'm going to get replies like "Yeah, well, I love my children even if I don't coddle them. Why would you even imply that I don't?? What the hell, I wasn't talking about YOUR situation. You're totally misinterpreting everything we are saying. Stop being such a bleeding heart, this isn't about you," etc.

    It's just that, whether or not it's totally obvious to you that you also care for your children when appropriate, all I'm hearing is "Yeah, my kid got hurt this one time, or was in danger, but pft, whatever. I just kick them out the door and live my own life, they can take care of themselves." And it's pretty triggering for me to hear a whole sphere of parents nodding in agreement that this is ideal, and that anyone else is a pussy. It makes me feel like I was wrong or weak or bad for desperately craving some form of parental concern for my wellbeing when I was a kid. I'm getting the impression from all your comments that my mother was right to ignore me and that I was a huge pussy for wanting or expecting anything more. Maybe I am a pussy, because reading all this has made me feel kind of sick in the pit of my stomach and like I want to cry.

    I just wanted to say that there is a middle-ground, and I would ask that people not glorify (whether intentional or not) neglect any more than they would glorify complete dominating control. I know that probably seems obvious to all of you, and you probably feel that your love and concern for your children is so blindingly obvious that you wouldn't even think to mention it as an aside. I think for most people it doesn't need to be stated. But, from where I am coming from, it's not obvious. I don't want to quote or pull examples from anyone's posts because they are probably going to think it's a personal attack and come back at me for it. But if you read all these posts in a tone of impatient contempt, they sound just like things my mother would have said. And then having all sorts of people pop up and applaud that behavior... It chills me to the bone.

    I don't even want to post this because I'm pretty sure I'm going to get insults and eye-rolling. But I just didn't feel okay about keeping my mouth shut and looking the other way. There are other people here who had parents like mine and might not be saying anything. I just wanted to ask that people really think about what they are posting. If you are advocating a middle-ground then please show both sides. Please don't just applaud the neglect and leave everything else unsaid.

    Thanks..

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  7. #4857
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    Gravy, the good news is, I think that most of us are so far from the neglect that you experienced that it has never occurred to us that we should state both ways to be wrong ... b/c it's just not in our radar.

    I'm sorry, so sorry, for the neglect you and any other child has received. Both neglect and overprotectiveness harm a child in their own ways. I think I can safely say that all of the words you've read here on this subject in the last day or two fall in this category:

    I know that probably seems obvious to all of you, and you probably feel that your love and concern for your children is so blindingly obvious that you wouldn't even think to mention it as an aside.
    I send my children out, but I keep a window open and know where they are, and if they aren't where I expect them, I find them (that almost never happens, b/c they know to tell me if they're going somewhere else). I never pick up and cuddle a child who falls and isn't hurt, but give them a quick hug if they look like they need it, a kiss on the boo-boo, and an "away you go," so long as that's appropriate. I patch a wound that needs patching, and not those that don't. I tell them and show them many times a day that I love them and that they make my life worth living, and I would never want a life that they weren't an integral part of.

    I hope you feel some reassurance here that neglect is not being advocated AT ALL by anyone, anymore than smothering ScratchGuard parenting (that so often leads to teenagers taking dangerous chances) is. Thank you for the reminder that there are usually two ways to go wrong - one extreme or the other.
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  8. #4858
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gravyboat View Post
    Personally, I'm jealous of kids with over-protective parents. But that's because my mother was under-protective. She didn't give a shit even if I was hurt. I remember, on multiple occasions, wailing on the ground after being hurt badly and her flat-out ignoring me, or sighing exasperatedly and dragging her feet.

    I appreciate you all saying how you don't coddle your children, and that you allow them to go out and get cuts and bruises without holding them back so that they learn for themselves. But it kind of feels to me like you're all championing the neglectful lack of concern that I received as a child, and it makes me feel kind of sick and like I should say something.

    I know I'm going to get replies like "Yeah, well, I love my children even if I don't coddle them. Why would you even imply that I don't?? What the hell, I wasn't talking about YOUR situation. You're totally misinterpreting everything we are saying. Stop being such a bleeding heart, this isn't about you," etc.

    It's just that, whether or not it's totally obvious to you that you also care for your children when appropriate, all I'm hearing is "Yeah, my kid got hurt this one time, or was in danger, but pft, whatever. I just kick them out the door and live my own life, they can take care of themselves." And it's pretty triggering for me to hear a whole sphere of parents nodding in agreement that this is ideal, and that anyone else is a pussy. It makes me feel like I was wrong or weak or bad for desperately craving some form of parental concern for my wellbeing when I was a kid. I'm getting the impression from all your comments that my mother was right to ignore me and that I was a huge pussy for wanting or expecting anything more. Maybe I am a pussy, because reading all this has made me feel kind of sick in the pit of my stomach and like I want to cry.

    I just wanted to say that there is a middle-ground, and I would ask that people not glorify (whether intentional or not) neglect any more than they would glorify complete dominating control. I know that probably seems obvious to all of you, and you probably feel that your love and concern for your children is so blindingly obvious that you wouldn't even think to mention it as an aside. I think for most people it doesn't need to be stated. But, from where I am coming from, it's not obvious. I don't want to quote or pull examples from anyone's posts because they are probably going to think it's a personal attack and come back at me for it. But if you read all these posts in a tone of impatient contempt, they sound just like things my mother would have said. And then having all sorts of people pop up and applaud that behavior... It chills me to the bone.

    I don't even want to post this because I'm pretty sure I'm going to get insults and eye-rolling. But I just didn't feel okay about keeping my mouth shut and looking the other way. There are other people here who had parents like mine and might not be saying anything. I just wanted to ask that people really think about what they are posting. If you are advocating a middle-ground then please show both sides. Please don't just applaud the neglect and leave everything else unsaid.

    Thanks..
    children know when they are loved and know when they are not loved. nothing else really matters.

    fwiw my mother hated me, and i knew by the age of 3 and confronted her by the age of 8 with what i knew, i asked her point blank why she didnt just abort me.... 32 years later my father admitted that it was because he refused to allow it...


    while i certainly expect my forum crushes to object... my jury is still out of who was right, mom or dad.
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  9. #4859
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    Gravyboat, I don't think you're being oversensitive given your history. I know that conversations about spanking can give me a similar reaction because I was far more than spanked by my mother. For me, getting to go out and run free was a relief because it got me out of that place where nothing I did ever seemed right. But I have friends who grew up neglected, and I know how painful that can be. I see the little toddler-age girl next door wandering out into the front street and fear for her safety because I know her parents don't pay enough attention to where she is and don't notice when she wanders out of the backyard. We've retrieved her from the middle of the street several times.

    I wish we all had parents who were supportive and loving and got it right most of the time (I don't expect any family to be perfect). I'm glad to hear people like GrokMama who try to give their kids the right sort of love in the right amounts so that they can grow up to be independent, healthy, confident adults.
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  10. #4860
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    Quote Originally Posted by MamaGrok View Post
    Gravy, the good news is, I think that most of us are so far from the neglect that you experienced that it has never occurred to us that we should state both ways to be wrong ... b/c it's just not in our radar.

    I'm sorry, so sorry, for the neglect you and any other child has received. Both neglect and overprotectiveness harm a child in their own ways. I think I can safely say that all of the words you've read here on this subject in the last day or two fall in this category:

    Quote Originally Posted by GravyBoat
    I know that probably seems obvious to all of you, and you probably feel that your love and concern for your children is so blindingly obvious that you wouldn't even think to mention it as an aside.
    I send my children out, but I keep a window open and know where they are, and if they aren't where I expect them, I find them (that almost never happens, b/c they know to tell me if they're going somewhere else). I never pick up and cuddle a child who falls and isn't hurt, but give them a quick hug if they look like they need it, a kiss on the boo-boo, and an "away you go," so long as that's appropriate. I patch a wound that needs patching, and not those that don't. I tell them and show them many times a day that I love them and that they make my life worth living, and I would never want a life that they weren't an integral part of.

    I hope you feel some reassurance here that neglect is not being advocated AT ALL by anyone, anymore than smothering ScratchGuard parenting (that so often leads to teenagers taking dangerous chances) is. Thank you for the reminder that there are usually two ways to go wrong - one extreme or the other.
    Quoted for absolute truth.

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