Funny CW moments page 48

[LGray]

... liquid... glucose... ?...

Seriously? Was he going to shoot up with it? In fact, if he's looking for that direct a method of raising his insulin why doesn't he just shoot up with insulin?

Why not just eat a candy bar and be done with it? Or better yet, one of those protein bars or shakes that have just as much sugar in them as your average snickers?

[Metismomma]

I dunno...I did tell about syndrome x and his eyes kind of glazed over...We didn't have any ( I thought) so he didn't get any. I cringe when he manages to find one of the other ladies there to help. They have no idea when it comes to weight-training(like I know all that much lol!)
Pretty sure he was going to eat it.

[Tiggadyrue]

Just earlier tonight I was standing in line at the grocery check-out and I over hear a woman telling her daughter, 'I need to get you some sugar so you will have more energy' LOL ....the poor child must have been about 5!!!! I just privately did an eye-roll %)

[naiadknight]

Overheard from a friend: "I'm using these [tasticles, tastels, something like that] on my food to lose weight." Apparently, it's this stuff you sprinkle on your food that stimulates ghrelin and and depresses it's counterpart. Has different tastes and everything. I was utterly repulsed by the idea, but this is the same chick that dumps splenda or salt on everything she eats, so...

[LGray]

Tastants Sensa.

It's really a very interesting product. I mean, supposedly you sprinkle this magic salt ("tastants") on your food, and you'll lose 30 pounds in six months. Or at least, that was the average results in their "clinical trial". Of course, I think it's interesting that this alleged clinical trial has not been peer reviewed, since anything that legitimately resulted in a 1-2 pound a week weight loss with no side effects (like, say... anal seepage) would revolutionize the medical treatment of obesity and would probably be worth millions, if not billions of dollars to big pharma... But... no dice. No peer review. Instead they're selling it online through web advertizing and infomercials, kind of like every other magic weight loss scam in existence. What BS

[kenn]

A guy came into the store looking for glucose (liquid form) because his trainer told him he needed to raise his insulin levels to gain muscle. Apparently glucose is the best way to do this.
I sent him to the leangains website...

It works, combined with protein it works well...I dunno why

I used to get beef brisket & veggies with 2 pieces of cornbread slathered in butter and honey

when I added this (carbs) is to my after workout CW diet combined with my workout routine I saw bigger gains

[Bushrat]

You've never heard of Alli? The latest miracle drug? Yes, it prevents your body from absorbing all the fat you eat (not to mention fat soluble vitamins). Meaning you poop it out. Meaning you have to be on a lowfat diet. and not an "I average 20% but some meals are higher than others" diet. Meaning if you have more than a certain amount of fat at one time you will have grease run out the other end. IN the packet they advise wearing dark pants at all times and always having a change of clothes with you.

Sounds like fun right?

Edit...for the life of me I cant figure out why Alli is ok but a laxative diet is bad. tomayto tomahto.

Fuck. These retards ought to have bright red warning signs tattooed on their foreheads so I can stay away from them and their soiled pants.

[jesbelle]

Fuck. These retards ought to have bright red warning signs tattooed on their foreheads so I can stay away from them and their soiled pants.

I think they probably have a particular smell that makes them easily identifiable.

[Jenny]

A smell? Argh, I have no sense of smell -- let's go with the tattoo plan.

How about olestra? It's in "light" potato and nacho chips, it rips fat-soluble vitamins (A, D, E, and K) right out of your body, and it also can cause anal leakage like Alli does:
The Problems With Olestra ~ Center for Science in the Public Interest

Hmm, I suppose this thread has strayed somewhat from the "Funny" part of CW. Unless anal leakage is funny. Maybe it is.

[naiadknight]

I've been snacking on steamed broccoli, snow peas, and red cabbage since lunch. You should see some of the strange looks I'm getting as everyone walks by for their midafternoon piss (I'm right next door to the bathroom.)