Funny CW moments page 437

[billp]

I don't have a hard time opening the coconut (I just whack it with the back of my hatchet until it cracks open) but the knuckle-murdering scraping out the meat is the part that gets me. Is there some easy way to do it that doesn't involve Band-Aids?

You use a coconut grater. It is a flat board you sit on with a serrated disc sticking out, and you grind the coconut half against it.

[MamaGrok]

URG, GOD! I saw that stuff the last time I was at TJs, on their New Products shelf. I was like "WTF?" and picked one up to read it. My jaw was literally open in disbelief. I dropped it back on the shelf, heavily, snapping out "Is this what we've come to?" rather loudly, then walked away in disgust. People were looking at me but I didn't care.

The guy stocking the shelf was raving about it. I looked at the ingredients list, made some comments to the kids about the disgusting veg oil in it, and the guy's response? "I know, it's SO DELICIOUS!"

[lssanjose]

The guy stocking the shelf was raving about it. I looked at the ingredients list, made some comments to the kids about the disgusting veg oil in it, and the guy's response? "I know, it's SO DELICIOUS!"

Are you saying, he didn't connect the dots properly, when you made your comments? Or did he connect the dots; and, thus, responded sarcastically when he said it? Thanks!

[MamaGrok]

He just didn't get it at all!

[magicmerl]

Maybe it's best that way.

Perhaps we should make an art of saying sarcastic conventional wisdom health sayings.

E.g.
"This would have the heart foundation healthy heart tick."
"Only 75% carbohydrates. Just what a prediabetic needs."
"This has had all of the food removed. So it's low in cholesterol."

[Dirlot]

OMG I just saw a promotion for dog food....the catch phrase "If they could get it on their own they would" the ingredient OATS wtf when would a dog get oats?!?

[smilingjustalittlebit]

What about this gem:

Coworker - Supermarkets should be reeled in, they have huge displays of chocolate right there in your face.

Me - How about just walking past and not buying any?

Coworker - It's not that simple. They should be hidden away with the cigarrettes.

[MamaGrok]

PSA. Just for the record, it's not that simple, for many of us. When the parts of your body controlling addiction centers (be it for food, smokes, alcohol, or drugs) is screwed up, then you get urges to consume (whatever you're body's craving) 24/7. Ignoring the urges is like ignoring the urge to breathe - you can do it for a while, and then your body takes over.

I used to get urges to eat sugar or carbs (even primal carbs) every 5 minutes or so, and I would ignore them. For an hour. For three hours. For 23 hours. Then, it literally felt like someone else took over my brain, I'd cave and eat as much of it as I could till about 30 minutes later my brain reverted control to me, and I'd look in shock and horror at what I'd done. For the next 23 and a half hours I'd berate and hate myself and ignore the incessant urges until my brain switched over and I'd binge again.

Going primal and increasing fat and protein helped a lot with that, and I went from a fairly extreme case to just having urges like this every once in a while. Even then, they were still overpowering, something you could ignore only for a while.

Upping my breakfast protein tremendously (and continuing the fat, protein, and organic whole foods primal diet I had already been eating for a few years) has turned off the cravings completely so I don't have to ignore them anymore. They're gone. I can easily walk past chocolate (even "the good stuff"), ice cream, cake, anything at all and not have even a flash of desire for it.

Anyone who wants to help others should know this. (I believe it will help other addictions, as well, and all those with eating disorders, whether they have urges to eat, or urges not to eat.)

[RitaRose]

I used to get urges to eat sugar or carbs (even primal carbs) every 5 minutes or so, and I would ignore them. For an hour. For three hours. For 23 hours. Then, it literally felt like someone else took over my brain, I'd cave and eat as much of it as I could till about 30 minutes later my brain reverted control to me, and I'd look in shock and horror at what I'd done. For the next 23 and a half hours I'd berate and hate myself and ignore the incessant urges until my brain switched over and I'd binge again.

This is the part that's been the scariest since I hit my head again a few months ago. Too soon after the previous concussion in June, then I hit it again (not too hard I thought) in February. A few weeks later and it was REALLY difficult to control moods and cravings, and you finally just lose control. Scary. Then you feel like crap and you get depressed, and depressed is not good for self control and...

Man, it sucks.

I'm finding coconut oil is helping somewhat, along with low dose 5-HTP. But I'm just trying to get the brain to heal.

[fastersteve]

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