Oh dear, was chatting with a lady at work...
Lady: What are you doing?
Me: *blotting at a grease stain in the bathroom, because yeah, I wear my food* I had bacon for breakfast and made a mess.
Lady: Oh! Bacon! How naughty! I could go for some of that! Too bad I can't have it.
Me: (thinks: Oh boy, here it comes) So what did you have?
Lady: Oatmeal... my husband and I are both on a diet.
Me: (thinks: Probably instant, too. With sugar, and fake strawberry flavor. Yeah. Nice job.) Nah, you should have had BACON! It's full of... um... pork! Porky vitamin goodness!
Lady: But I couldn't, it has so much fat...
Me: ***puzzled expression***
This woman has literally watched me lose 50 pounds... and still isn't convinced that eating bacon is ok!