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Thread: Funny CW moments page 39

  1. #381
    Jenny's Avatar
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    Here's one based on believing Authority instead of common sense... My friend just announced (through a Facebook app) that she burned 617 calories doing 35 minutes of elliptical. I told her that couldn't possibly be right unless she was also bleeding profusely at the time, but she assured me, "The calculator figures it out for you, so it's right."

    "Trust me, you will soon enter a magical land full of delicious steakflowers, with butterbacons fluttering around over the extremely rompable grass and hillsides."

  2. #382
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    I got one earlier: Someone offered me this thing called a cakeball (a chunk of cake coated with chocolate ganache.) I said "I'm sure it tastes great, and thanks for the offer but I can't eat it." when asked why i responded with my standard "I don't react well to grains or sugar." "Well, there's no grains or sugar in this." Uhhhh.... i just said "No, thanks," and walked away.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  3. #383
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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    I got one earlier: Someone offered me this thing called a cakeball (a chunk of cake coated with chocolate ganache.) I said "I'm sure it tastes great, and thanks for the offer but I can't eat it." when asked why i responded with my standard "I don't react well to grains or sugar." "Well, there's no grains or sugar in this." Uhhhh.... i just said "No, thanks," and walked away.
    Now I'm scared. WTH was in that thing?
    Most people don't realize how much energy it takes for me to pretend to be normal.

    If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.

    Twibble's Twibbly Wibbly

  4. #384
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    Actually, I'm willing to bet it was made with fake sugar of some sort and he didn't realize chocolate had sugar in it and that flour is a grain product. This the same guy that, when I told him I couldn't have wheat, told me they have white bread at the meeting.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  5. #385
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    Maybe it was an antimatter cakeball.

    ... now my nerd brain wants to order one of those engraved MedicAlert bracelets claiming I have an allergy to antimatter. It's technically true!

  6. #386
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    A severe allergy resulting in death!!!! I love that idea, Jenny! Muahahahaha
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  7. #387
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    I work with a few Japanese people and the subject of my way of eating comes up every now and then. I've told them about grains. Wheat: actively bad for you. Poison. Most of the nutrients are in the husk which is indigestible anyway. White rice: just starch with no nutrients, meaning that it costs your body some of its own nutrient stores to digest it and does not give any back, therefore if you eat white rice regularly, be sure to include lots of healthy meats and vegetables.

    Yesterday I was asked if I'm going to go out for sushi with everyone on the weekend. I said maybe. She laughed at me in an "Ah-hah! Got you!" kind of way. "So you DO eat rice!"

    I neeeveerrr saaiiid I diiiiddnnn'ttt....

    And with other people, even though most of the time "meat and vegetables" is like one word when I talk about this kind of stuff, they just hear "meat" and think I'm pure carnivore.
    You lousy kids! Get off my savannah!

  8. #388
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grumpy Caveman View Post
    I work with a few Japanese people and the subject of my way of eating comes up every now and then. I've told them about grains. Wheat: actively bad for you. Poison. Most of the nutrients are in the husk which is indigestible anyway. White rice: just starch with no nutrients, meaning that it costs your body some of its own nutrient stores to digest it and does not give any back, therefore if you eat white rice regularly, be sure to include lots of healthy meats and vegetables.

    Yesterday I was asked if I'm going to go out for sushi with everyone on the weekend. I said maybe. She laughed at me in an "Ah-hah! Got you!" kind of way. "So you DO eat rice!"

    I neeeveerrr saaiiid I diiiiddnnn'ttt....

    And with other people, even though most of the time "meat and vegetables" is like one word when I talk about this kind of stuff, they just hear "meat" and think I'm pure carnivore.
    Sashimi? Isn't that usually served at most Sushi places?

  9. #389
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Here's one based on believing Authority instead of common sense... My friend just announced (through a Facebook app) that she burned 617 calories doing 35 minutes of elliptical. I told her that couldn't possibly be right unless she was also bleeding profusely at the time, but she assured me, "The calculator figures it out for you, so it's right."

    LOL! Of course it's right... for a 7 foot tall, 400 pound male.

  10. #390
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    Sugar is primary fuel for cancer cells.
    This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it. Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Any given day you are surrounded by 10,000 idiots.
    Lao Tsu, founder of Taoism

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