Funny CW moments page 350

[Maureen M]

Ohhh man. Today at work: overweight lady in the cube across from me,
"Oh Darn"
other co-worker: "What's wrong"
Overweight lady: "I copied some stuff in the copy room then went to the bathroom and left it there"
other co-worker: "Oh no...."
Overweight lady: "I know! Now i have to go back and get it. Oh well, at least I'm getting my workout for the day"

ummm

Calculated the number of steps taken to get from her cube to the bathroom.

30.

Jesus.

[JennaRose]

Ohhh man. Today at work: overweight lady in the cube across from me,
"Oh Darn"
other co-worker: "What's wrong"
Overweight lady: "I copied some stuff in the copy room then went to the bathroom and left it there"
other co-worker: "Oh no...."
Overweight lady: "I know! Now i have to go back and get it. Oh well, at least I'm getting my workout for the day"

ummm

Calculated the number of steps taken to get from her cube to the bathroom.

30.

Jesus.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH WHAT?!!

At least when I tell people at work I'm getting my workout for the day, I'm lifting 10-15-20 pound boxes and walking with them to put them away. XD

[GrokON]

I know, right?? I haven't actually thrown up since I was a kid. Whenever someone tells me "Yeah, I shouldn't have eaten that <whatever>, I spent the whole night puking." I am like "Wtf?? How?"

As far as I know, I've never had even mild food poisoning.. I very rarely even get stomach upset unless I'm starting my period (which is pretty much a full day of doomshits once a month. It's like clockwork). And I tend to eat some really questionable, visibly-starting-to-go-bad stuff.

Maybe I am just blessed or something.

You and I are the same... "Best Before" dates don't apply to me. If it looks/smells edible (or at least like it will be edible with a bit of time on the stove or in the oven) I'll eat it. Never been that sort of pukey food poisoned sick that other people seem to be. Knock on wood.

For what its worth, I'm not a chronic hand washer. Maybe that helps in the long run.

[Mr. Koozie]

So, im probably jinxing myself here, but I have never had food poisoning. Ever. Sure ive eaten some things that have not sat well with me, but never have i gotten sick and throwing up and all that, which i was able to unquestionably tie to eating something and not just a general flu. It...kinda weirds me out that everyone else I know seems to consider it a normal, regular thing to expect sometimes from eating out.

Oh I’m right there with you. It’s considered very “normal” here too. I have never had food poisoning in any shape, way, or form. But it seems I’m constantly hearing people (mainly coworkers) complain about getting it, like it’s so freakin’ common. My guess is they have something else. If I got poisoned as much as them from eating out I would never eat at a restaurant again.

[Corvidae]

You and I are the same... "Best Before" dates don't apply to me. If it looks/smells edible (or at least like it will be edible with a bit of time on the stove or in the oven) I'll eat it. Never been that sort of pukey food poisoned sick that other people seem to be. Knock on wood.

For what its worth, I'm not a chronic hand washer. Maybe that helps in the long run.

Ive wondered if, for me, it might be because im like super addicted to acidic foods. Like I could literally, right now, drink red wine vinegar straight from the bottle. For serious. As ive gotten older ive also gotten more into spicy foods. So maybe all that acid and spice helps kill the bad things?

[sires6]

he also walked on water. he was a demi-god, he could basically do whatever the f*ck he wanted xD

Jesus was a poor guy. He ate poor People food. Numerous times it talks about "eating the fatted calf."

[Baloo]

He fed 5000 with a loaf of bread and a fish. I think he could've got some decent tucker if he'd wanted.

[RitaRose]

I think the world of my friend, but sometimes I get so frustrated.

We work together, which (in case I haven't said this a thousand times already) entails walking anywhere between 10 and 20 miles a day at a very fast pace, combined with getting in and out of a large truck probably 200 times. That's if we're not spending the day hopping walls.

She has decided to really focus on losing weight, which is really a good idea since her doc has said she is considered obese now. Her plan is to go full bore on the treadmill for about an hour every day. After walking 10-20 miles every day. Seriously.

Not only that, but she is cutting back on the calories and eating low fat everything. She proudly announced this morning that she had burned 2,800 calories yesterday... and she was SO hungry all day!

Gee, I wonder why.

[Bron]

*screams gutturally and shakes fists at the sky* YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, SPAMMERS!!!!

What? You don't like reading that same thing over and over and over??

[tcb]

I know, right?? I haven't actually thrown up since I was a kid. Whenever someone tells me "Yeah, I shouldn't have eaten that <whatever>, I spent the whole night puking." I am like "Wtf?? How?

Maybe I am just blessed or something.

You got an "f" in partying in college.