Funny CW moments page 344

[fastersteve]

Um yeah, I'm pretty sure all those hard core CHRISTIANS who are certain that they'll be scooped up in the rapture will be left dumbfounded and earth bound...

[drssgchic]

I heard a story once about a Native American during the time that they were being given the choice between converting and death. As he was tied to the stake for burning he asked- "If I convert I'll go to Heaven when I die?"
"Yes"
"Heaven is where the Christians go?"
"Yes"
"Kill me now."
I identify with this man.

[JennaRose]

only the mormons get into heaven, dont you guys watch South Park?

[Corvidae]

I'm a heathen, so I'll miss whatever rapture is in fashion this year, too. Unless it's the Rapture for heathen agnostibuddhipagans that were once baptized Lutheran and christened Episcopalian, in which case, I'm all set. The way I figure, I'd rather wear jeans and party in Hell than wear a dress and rub elbows with the born again in Heaven.

Hell is where all the great BBQ is and its warm enough to wear tanktops all the time. Im in.

[Fabbecky]

I'm a heathen, so I'll miss whatever rapture is in fashion this year, too. Unless it's the Rapture for heathen agnostibuddhipagans that were once baptized Lutheran and christened Episcopalian, in which case, I'm all set. The way I figure, I'd rather wear jeans and party in Hell than wear a dress and rub elbows with the born again in Heaven.

Naiad - I'll meet you at that party (says the paganwiccandeist who was baptised and raised Catholic including all girls Catholic school... )

[Fabbecky]

only the mormons get into heaven, dont you guys watch South Park?

+1 I love South Park

[RitaRose]

And turned water into wine but trying showing up at the local Southern Baptist Church with a bottle or two. I still remember listening to a Sunday school teacher explaining it was non-alcoholic wine. LMAO.

I used to sing at the Saturday night service, and they had communion every week. Unfortunately, wine gives me a 3-day migraine (sulfites) and that's what they use. They also use an actual loaf of bread instead of wafers, so I'm totally screwed.

Gluten and sulfites - it's what dark, quiet rooms are made for!

So... I passed.

[Alex Good]

I'm descended from Odin on my father's side and Lugh on my mother's. Whatever I believe the bible says I'm destined for hell.

[whitebear]

" agnostibuddhipagans" Could you please direct me to a congregation? I am a spiritual person with no spiritual path.

[LJH]

It would be great if such a thing actually occurred. The Rapture types are, well, effin' annoying nuts, so bye bye, we'll miss ya. So, a little spring cleaning, that's cool. Plus then you'd have the unintended benefits of lower unemployment, empty houses for the homeless, less stinking traffic, and of course more bacon for the rest of us.

Unless all the pigs get raptured too, then we're screwed.