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Thread: Do you ever do anything impulsive with the hope you might fail? page 2

  1. #11
    Crabbcakes's Avatar
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    I once had an Anthony Robbins kick. In one of his books, he really did say something interesting that I never forgot - it was that when you repeatedly do self-sabotaging stuff/make self-sabotaging decisions, many times it is because your true self's inner desires are not aligned with the boots-on-the-ground immediate choices you are making.

    For example: your deepest self wants to repair Harleys for a living. You, on the other hand, head off to dental school because 8000 members of your family, whom you love deeply and are great folks, are ALL happy-as-a-clam wonderful, capable dentists and they are all awaiting your graduation eagerly to say the least. But you juuuuust can't seem to get those grades up there and all that, get depressed, drink a lot, screw around, drag race with the beater, whatever. It would seem like you are on the fast track to Loserdom - but you are just at your deepest parts unhappy.

    This is what came to my mind reading your OP, even tho you like your work.

    P.S. One day, our suffering dentist-in-the-making meets a totally hot chick in class who seems to be having many of the same problems. So they go out on a date and.... she picks him up on a Harley. It doesn't take too many dates before they both realize that hogs are where it is at. So they ditch dental school to go to a completely different type of school, and eventually open their own shop. No idea if their romance endured, but they are the best of business partners and bike mechanics, and are the go-to shop in the tri-state area. And ridiculously happy in their work. (I love happy endings...)
    I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crabbcakes View Post
    I once had an Anthony Robbins kick. In one of his books, he really did say something interesting that I never forgot - it was that when you repeatedly do self-sabotaging stuff/make self-sabotaging decisions, many times it is because your true self's inner desires are not aligned with the boots-on-the-ground immediate choices you are making.

    For example: your deepest self wants to repair Harleys for a living. You, on the other hand, head off to dental school because 8000 members of your family, whom you love deeply and are great folks, are ALL happy-as-a-clam wonderful, capable dentists and they are all awaiting your graduation eagerly to say the least. But you juuuuust can't seem to get those grades up there and all that, get depressed, drink a lot, screw around, drag race with the beater, whatever. It would seem like you are on the fast track to Loserdom - but you are just at your deepest parts unhappy.

    This is what came to my mind reading your OP, even tho you like your work.

    P.S. One day, our suffering dentist-in-the-making meets a totally hot chick in class who seems to be having many of the same problems. So they go out on a date and.... she picks him up on a Harley. It doesn't take too many dates before they both realize that hogs are where it is at. So they ditch dental school to go to a completely different type of school, and eventually open their own shop. No idea if their romance endured, but they are the best of business partners and bike mechanics, and are the go-to shop in the tri-state area. And ridiculously happy in their work. (I love happy endings...)
    What a great story! There are other things I'd rather do for a living, things I'm more passionate about, but my practical side won't let me step away from a job that provides me with health insurance, paid vacation, and a pension. I enjoy my job, but my position will certainly be obsolete within the next few years, due to advances in technology, so I'm working on the impractical, passionate stuff in the evenings and weekends. I've applied for another master's degree program, that would advance my prospects in my current field.... but I sort of hope I don't get accepted

  3. #13
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    The majority of our self sabotage is unconscious because we're not aware of what our true thoughts, desires, and needs are.

    If you're actually conscious that you're doing one thing, but hoping for a different outcome, then I would say you don't need to take failure as a "sign" that something's not right for you.

    Make your own fate!
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by YogaBare View Post
    The majority of our self sabotage is unconscious because we're not aware of what our true thoughts, desires, and needs are.

    If you're actually conscious that you're doing one thing, but hoping for a different outcome, then I would say you don't need to take failure as a "sign" that something's not right for you.

    Make your own fate!
    True, true, I just wish that crafting my own fate could involve me having health insurance and a secure paycheck

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by YogaBare View Post
    The majority of our self sabotage is unconscious because we're not aware of what our true thoughts, desires, and needs are.

    If you're actually conscious that you're doing one thing, but hoping for a different outcome, then I would say you don't need to take failure as a "sign" that something's not right for you.

    Make your own fate!
    I agree. Robbins had some techniques for getting the unconscious up into the light, from down in the depths, just so that once you got to the point of recognizing them, you could then go and seize the day. I can't remember what they are.

    But, on the other hand, if you do know what you want and need, and do not go there anyway, that is another different set of problems!
    I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasputina View Post
    True, true, I just wish that crafting my own fate could involve me having health insurance and a secure paycheck
    I know - but it is possible! I left a well paying job (that I hated) when I was 27, but the whole time I was in it I knew it wasn't for me so I saved up the money. That gave me a big cushion to float on when I did leave. I'm 31 now and am nowhere near well off (i'm a creative) but I'm free and that's priceless.

    Anyway, what I've observed is that when people make more money they just buy more stuff (they don't need) so I think the standard of living probably evens out. I don't buy expensive things and I still have money to travel so happy days

    Quote Originally Posted by Crabbcakes View Post

    But, on the other hand, if you do know what you want and need, and do not go there anyway, that is another different set of problems!
    Yip!
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasputina View Post
    True, true, I just wish that crafting my own fate could involve me having health insurance and a secure paycheck
    OMG, Raspy, what we all wouldn't become or dare if we didn't have to worry about dependents and eating and stuff!
    I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crabbcakes View Post
    OMG, Raspy, what we all wouldn't become or dare if we didn't have to worry about dependents and eating and stuff!
    Lol - I actually don't know if that's true. SO many people I know just talk themselves out of happiness. And then they moan about how "lucky" I am - not realising that they could do it too but they're not prepared to make all the little sacrifices along the way... every day. It's not luck.

    But I agree, it's get harder the older you get because you're caught in a much more complex web of connections and responsibilities. Still believe it's possible though!
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by YogaBare View Post
    Lol - I actually don't know if that's true. SO many people I know just talk themselves out of happiness. And then they moan about how "lucky" I am - not realising that they could do it too but they're not prepared to make all the little sacrifices along the way... every day. It's not luck.

    But I agree, it's get harder the older you get because you're caught in a much more complex web of connections and responsibilities. Still believe it's possible though!
    I do, too. I just have a disabled, special needs kid to watch over until the end of my days because she will NEVER be capable of running her own life or truly caring for herself. That makes the planning of major life changes somewhat more daunting.

    But not truly impossible...
    I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crabbcakes View Post
    I do, too. I just have a disabled, special needs kid to watch over until the end of my days because she will NEVER be capable of running her own life or truly caring for herself. That makes the planning of major life changes somewhat more daunting.

    But not truly impossible...
    Wow, that's a lot of responsibility Crabby! Much respect to you, lady! I'm much more free in that I don't have children, but my husband gets very nervous and raises an eyebrow anytime I start talking about following my dreams. He is absolutely practical and very financially conservative. I, on the other hand, would be doing whatever crazy bullshit I wanted, if I were on my own, because the consequences would only affect me. I'm trying to work it out so that the crazy dream stuff can be worked on at the same time as the practical stuff.

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