
Originally Posted by
Cryptocode
Most interesting Comments, but no one has responded to my question "What would your perfect ideal America look like and how would it function?"
For those of profound humorlessness or lack of imagination I offer this:
The Americans With No Abilities Act*
*President Barack Obama and the Democratic Senate are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.*
*"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said
California Sen. Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. * *With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."*
*In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. *
*At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).*
*Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.*
*Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to
guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. *
*The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that
promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into
middle-management positions, and give a tax credit to small and
medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every
two talented hires.*
*Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new measures
to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled; for
example, banning discriminatory interview questions such as, "Do you have
any skills or experience that relate to this job?"*
*"As a non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who
have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position
as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to her inability
to remember righty tighty, lefty loosey. "This new law should be real good
for people like me. I'll finally have job security." *
*With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented
citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.*
*Said Senator Dick Durbin: "As a senator with no abilities, I believe the
same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every
American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and
every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort
of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so."*
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Sorry, I just couldn't help myself. I know I'm going to really regret this!