Kris' Place for Primal rantings because everyone else thinks she's nuts page

[Kris C]

I need a place to vent. The Husband thinks Primal is crazy, and WRONG. The kids sort of understand but won't get on board with their dad not buying in. The weight loss group I am part of on FB is all about WW and Jenny and SAD/Food Pyramid. Ugh.

First rant:
We were at Disney, a food heaven for all sorts of ways of eating, including not super-strict Primal (not everything is organic or grass-fed, etc). I ate really well (save for the chocolate cake I planned for; surprisingly did not get cravings or tummy issues) with a great Canadian raised steak dinner for the birthday, tossing all buns, ignoring bread, embracing delicious fresh salads, water only (except wine with dinners).

Well, the Sweet Boy had ice cream one day. He was in pain. It hurt his tummy, intestines; even his lower back hurt. The Husband tells him to loosen his belt, thinking it was too tight. Not the issue. And this in not the first time it's happened. We've had him checked for lactose intolerance but the test was negative. Whatever. I asked the boy to take 2 weeks and stop eating or drinking dairy. No cheese, no yogurt (which of course is the sugary type, though only plain vanilla; no GoGurt shit here), no ice cream, no milk, etc. Let's try it and see what happens. I've asked him to do this before but it never happens.

Why? The Husband steps in and says, "Let's have him retested for the lactose issue." WHAT?? Or how about instead we conduct our own experiment and see how that works out. Maybe he just shows negative. Maybe the sensitivity isn't necessarily lactose but something else associated with the dairy. I tell the husband I was never tested for any digestive issues I had but once I started to eat Primally they disappeared in a matter of days. No test needed. A test would be a waste of time. I feel better so there's no need for a test, IMO. Why can't we try the same with the boy?

It's just that the husband is so sure CW and counting calories are the best way to lose weight. He is positive our food supply is just fine; if the gov't says so, it must be true (though he questions so many other things the gov't says). He knows he can't live without grains or other things that make him feel terrible, partly because they taste good and partly because he doesn't see anything wrong with them. DiGironio pizza? Let's eat, just in moderation! That thing in a box? That mac and cheese with powdered orange-dyed "cheese" flavor? Chips and dip from a supermarket jar? Just don't eat too much!

I am now aiming to prove Primal can be the best way to eat. I am buckling down my own eating habits, no excuses. I am relearning Primal, the nuances from the book that I may not have picked up on in my first full reading or my subsequent section readings. I will be a picture of health to prove this is right, and then maybe he'll allow our son to give up the foods that seem to make him double over, hunch over in pain.

[Kris C]

I spent $85+ at Publix yesterday on food. Real food (okay, and paper towels too), not the junk food the husband wants. He can go commissary shopping over the weekend for that crap. The Girl was so excited to see strawberries and cantaloupe and watermelon. The boys didn't care. Of course, they all had Papa John's pizza for dinner after their road trip, but at least the girl had watermelon after only one small slice. I think she'd be the easiest one to get on board as long as she could eat fruit (she's a growing nearly-teen, perfectly acceptable as she has no weight to lose) and her fave few veggies. And frozen corn. She and the Sweet Boy love steak (LOVE steak!), chicken, and salmon. Most evenings I don't even make a starchy side (occasionally potatoes or white rice), just veggies. The Sweet Boy loves bacon and eggs in the morning. They all love yogurt (plain vanilla, thank you, even though it has sugar in it, but I try to find some with some sort of fat in it).

The Little Guy is my tough kid to crack. He's a very picky eater and a carb-head. Pizza, chicken nuggets, vanilla yogurt, bananas, apples, cheese (particularly parmesan and cheddar). And snacks like Cheez-Its and Wheat Thins and graham crackers. He claims he wants to eat better and more things but it's been a losing battle. I know he's just afraid of trying new things; I was like him once, until fairly recently. There are no veggies he'll eat. Well, he claims at school he'll eat the lettuce in the green salad but he won't do it at home.

I wish we could stop with the grainy snacks but that goes to the husband. Since he refuses to change or to listen to why I think Primal is a better choice, the snacks and crap will stay. Even if I show the Success Stories of men, nothing changes. Even when he complains about his love handles and his covered up six-pack. He's tired (and it's not just the job), he snores (so do I but that is one of my Primal goals), and he doesn't look like the guy who can max his PT scores (though he often does). I am waiting for the right person to come along and change his mind. He doesn't ever listen to what I have to say; he comes around only when someone else makes it make sense to him. Anyway, I need that day to come sooner rather than later so I can get the whole family on board. I tried the "saves money" approach, since I would only have to buy for one way of eating. Nope. Instead he gets upset that my way of eating costs more. Actually I think the costs would go down as we eat healthier and feel fuller, needing less food to keep us going each day.

[canio6]

Great journal title. Good luck with your primal journey. Hopefully your non-primal husband is not too big a speed bump on your road to health.

[JennGlob]

Oh girl, I totally get it. Can't add much, but just know being a good example to the kids is the best thing we can offer them. They will see, the difference in you. Not just physically, but mentally. They will see how you relate to them with more patience and understanding. All those things won't be lost on your husband either.

[Kris C]

Canio6 and Jenn, thanks for coming by and commenting. I know once I get to where I want to be the husband will understand better what I was trying to tell him. I just need to keep with Primal better than I have in the past year.

I have let all sorts of excuses creep in. I'm out of (insert food here) and can't get to the store. It's just easier to (insert excuse here). The food was healthier in Europe and so it was easier. The busyness of life gets in the way. Blah blah blah...ENOUGH ALREADY!!

I have told the husband to never bring M&M's in the house again. It's Girl Scout cookie time and he was told to not buy the only kind I like (he's glad I can't stand Thin Mints). I told him to not comment on my egg quantities, or my bacon intake, or how much butter I use (never mind that I pay for KerryGold, which kills him). I am fine with skipping bread and pasta, that's always been easy for me to ignore. It's the sweet stuff I love. I used to not miss it, but since we moved back to the states (18 months ago; get over it already, Kris!) I have gone from a 90/10 Primal life to 60/40 and it shows.

I have added Crossfit Mamas workouts to my day! I look forward to looking the part. It will go a long way to proving Primal is right. And since marathon weekend, when he injured his knee (maybe his leg in general), the husband hasn't been running. He rowed this morning (and he thought my Model B purchase was insane; HA!). Distance is something he can't run right now so maybe he'll be more into a Primal-type (CF Mamas?) fitness versus his usual chronic cardio. I've always been proud of his marathon efforts, but truthfully the time was becoming an issue for me. And the constant need for $150 shoes. And the exhaustion he'd feel later when I'd prefer to be doing something else as a family. Marathon training is not family-friendly. I guess if he started the 3-4 hour training run early, like 6AM, it wouldn't matter as much but that doesn't ever happen. And the excessive carb needs he'd crave, ugh. And the high calorie burn as an excuse for take-out foods and pizza and other junk. I did the same when I first started running and "eating right" and I lost few pounds and fat over 2-3 years. Primal's first 2 months alone saw a 20 lb loss and decrease in clothing size. TIME FOR ME TO GET BACK ON TRACK!

I have yet to go to the commissary (and he hasn't either) to get the foods the rest of the family usually eats. I can handle them eating non-primal outside the house; I'm not thrilled about it but it's called compromise and sanity. And maybe they just won't notice after a while. One step, one day, at a time...

[Kris C]

Finally feeling better. This is the first time in a while I've felt sick; truly, deeply sick. I am glad because I was hoping to get my CrossFit Mamas workouts going. Beach weather happens here a bit sooner (though not as soon as FL) and I want to look good. Motivation to stop putting it off. Plus I may end up interviewing for positions this summer and I want to look and feel my best. I know that will be a direct reflection of me and my capabilities. I will be going up against those who are more experienced and better prepared, but if I can put up the air of confidence, it will go a long way. And CrossFit makes me feel confident in myself. Surprising what some fitness can do for one's self-esteem, huh?

If I do manage to get a teaching position for next year, I am absolutely going to spend part of that money on the best foods I can find for my family. Maybe when they taste just how food should be tasting they will get behind me. Or at least the husband. Getting the kids on board hinges on him.

Talked to The Girl about fitness today. She's begun PE at school (they do it for one semester each grade in middle school here). She kicked ass against the other girls in pushups. She told me how the other girls just stopped at 10 or 15. Some girls (and boys too) purposely didn't get set up in time for the countdown so they didn't do what they could have. We talked about fitness for a while, how healthy and fit people are better looking in general, how they are more confident, why she should not fall prey to the thinking that she shouldn't try as hard at fitness just to be cool or attract boys. I showed her pics of my CF box-owning friends, how they are fit (and how the woman is strong but not bulky, as so many girls claim will happen), how they look healthy and happy, and how my goal is to be fit, healthy, and strong as well.

Looking forward to tomorrow!

[Mud Flinger]

How awesome of you to share such empowering info with your daughter. Now when someone starts talking smack about fitness she will have info to throw back at them to shut down their taunts! Middle school is a tough time for many girls.

[Kris C]

Struggling this week with Primal eating. I need the crap food out of here so I can't give in to temptation. Of course, that means I also need to work on my inner voice that tells me just a bit won't hurt. That always sets me up for over-indulging. I have to keep my focus on setting the example for my family and proving PB eating really does help with health and my weight loss goals.

I subbed yesterday and saw so many kids so hungry. The class was third grade, so 8 and 9 year olds. They could not wait for their 9:20 snack time; they were asking at 8:30, just an hour into the school day. Most of them probably had cereal or toaster waffles or pancakes for breakfast, if they were that lucky. I wonder how many had a "breakfast/cereal" bar to start their day. Seriously, they were ALL hungry. Snack time came and I saw a sad SAD assortment of cookies, pretzels, granola bars, and other such crap. A couple had good foods like orange or apple slices. One girl had nuts and chocolate chips. Then three hours later was finally lunch time. School lunches were the typical spaghetti with canned sauce and breaded chicken on a bun. The salad, though, actually looked fantastic and a few kids actually ate it. I brought my own lunch (salad and tuna) because I never know what the schools will be serving.

At lunch one dad brought in an entire half-sheet cake to celebrate his son's birthday. Yeah, that made the last 90 minutes of the day awful. There were 3 kids who turned down the cake, actually saying their parents didn't think cake was healthy for them (same kids with apples, oranges, and nuts and chocolate, and ate the salad to go along with their home lunches; maybe parents are starting to get it). However, so many kids were just in a funk, a fog, the rest of the day. Well, most of the day anyway. There was one boy who nearly fell asleep. It was a battle to keep him awake the entire day. He obviously didn't get good sleep the night before. The shadow/assistant (for the disabled girl) said that boy is always tired like that. So sad that his parents don't care to make some changes. THAT is the real child abuse; ignoring the kid's needs for healthy food and sleep in order to be ready to learn, and not just school learning.

I am saddened for these kids. For my own as well, though my own are off to a better start. While they and the Husband eat more SAD, the kids at least have more Primal options as I am the one who makes their food at dinner. They often eat yogurt or fruit and cheese at breakfast. And they always eat the salad at lunch (I do believe them when they tell me that) even if they have a sandwich. The elementary school where the boys go has a better-than-average lunch program, though by no means great. Certainly better than down the road; the parents here demand it and can afford it, for the most part.

On to making dinner. Greenwise Publix steaks (not perfect but better; budget is an issue), veggies, love. Early bedtime after reading for a bit, a good workout waiting for me in the morning. I love following a Primal lifestyle. Though it would be better if I lived in Hawaii or Tampa again. One thing at a time...

[Stratford_Man]

I was worried about my spouse resisting the move towards Primal. Luckily, she's embraced it with fervour!

[Narcolepticjenn]

My husband is annoyingly picky about food, but he does love meat! So he is suspicious at first (other health kicks involved "healthy pasta" and other such questionable items, and probably me being crankier!) but he's been awesome about trying my experimental primal dinners. I made him a nice boring haddock with ground almond "breading" the other day... I do wish he liked salmon.