Hm, I see what you guys are saying but I'm not feeling that way myself. As of the past four months or so I've been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks, both of which were new to me (at least in a sustained sort of manner, obviously I've experienced anxiety before but it would usually be merited not unexpected). I believe they started out of a sense of guilt that I haven't been using my time wisely and can't seem to get my act together in order to do so. Anyway, won't bore you with the whole bit but knowing I'm going to die doesn't make me feel any better about that. In fact, it makes life seem way too pointless to even bother living it. I've had that understanding, that life is devoid of reason, for quite a while, but never did it make me feel like not living life. I'm not depressed, honestly, and I still get out there and do plenty of things and have fun and everything and I'm not worried about doing something grandiose with my life or anything but I'm not reconciling how acknowledging the futility of life or the fact that it will inevitably end is supposed to make everything better or give me this clarity... but hey maybe I'll get it soon enough.
I also have struggled with the structure that we currently have, the apparent need to hold a job (or a career if you luck out) in order to support yourself and live. Of course, this has been the case for humans ever since we started, nothing has ever come without work of some sort. I don't think I would necessarily enjoy a simpler life, which would actually probably be filled with a lot more work than I do now, and still for no tangible reward since we're going to die anyway! why do anything?
I could never purposely end my life, and I truly have no desire to do so and hope that I never will, but at the same time I can sort of understand why someone that feels as though their back is against the wall could do such a thing. Ideally they would feel like you guys do, but I think certain situations are more inescapable than that. You guys are experiencing some tough losses, but what if your anxiety is stemmed from other causes? and your mortality doesn't really make much of a difference in the matter? That's not my situation, but for the sake of argument I guess. I don't see how you can be so zen and just be like "well fuck it I'm going to die anyway" or "..but at least I'm not dead" when/if death would actually feel like a better option or a release?
I feel I must stress this, given what I've posted: I'm not suicidal, and I'm not talking about myself (outside of the anxiety stuff I mentioned, which has actually subsided) I am pretty happy and I realize that life will have its ups and downs and sometimes you have to go through the downs to get to the happy, so nobody needs to worry about me, but the topic is interesting.