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Thread: If you want something different from what you have always had.. page 2

  1. #11
    valmason01's Avatar
    valmason01 is offline Senior Member
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    A more primal day than yesterday. Went back to Devils Millhopper, this time with a friend, climbed down and back up again and walked around the rim, then came home and walked for about another 45 minutes. So almost 2 hours of movement in there. Used the curbs like a kiddie balance beam in the hopes that doing this will help increase my sense of balance. My proprioception is off. When I go up and down stairs i ahve to look at the stairs or I get dizzy, I have no sense of where my foot will go next. My thought is by learning to balance again I will help correct the proprioception. No clue how true that is however. Perhaps I should google it.

    Food wasn't all that great. A green salad, bacon and a little bit of sausage (I figured out the sausage I bought had MSG, tried to eat it anyway because damnit food costs but it just didn't even taste good) and grits with cheese and butter. Did do an appx 17 hour fast so hopefully that helped. I just have go to wean myself off the carbs and snacky foods. Damn snacky foods!
    You know all those things you have always wanted to do? You should go do them.

    Nah.. I was always aware "they" were out to get me.. even before I became Primal..... Now I can just run faster if they find me-Dino Hunter

    Age 46
    height 5'3
    SW 215 lbs
    CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
    LW 172 lbs
    GW 125ish lbs

  2. #12
    valmason01's Avatar
    valmason01 is offline Senior Member
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    An adventure with Phigment As I have mentioned I have no sense of balance, there is a wooded area of trails that has open walkway bridges on it across a creek, just wood nailed together. I went there once by myself and couldn't cross the bridges. I felt like I was falling with every step. I managed to do two today! With PHigment behind me refusing to move so I could go back There was another one but I just climbed down and back up. Read her version of the whole adventure, it is much more exciting. I am just excited I got across those bridges!
    You know all those things you have always wanted to do? You should go do them.

    Nah.. I was always aware "they" were out to get me.. even before I became Primal..... Now I can just run faster if they find me-Dino Hunter

    Age 46
    height 5'3
    SW 215 lbs
    CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
    LW 172 lbs
    GW 125ish lbs

  3. #13
    valmason01's Avatar
    valmason01 is offline Senior Member
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    Sugar causes depression. No...feeds depression. Yep..thats it. Sugar feeds depression!
    Scenario:

    Me at the family farm...everyone talking about trips they have made, good times with their husbands, kids etc. Upcoming fun things. Me...laughing, jumping in with 'what fun! how cool!' sometimes. Nothing to contribute. No family trips. No special someone I spend my time with. No trips with my son because we were always too broke and I was always too damned depressed. Me..realizing how much of my and my son's life I have wasted. And getting more and more depressed as I ate..7 layer salad with mayonaisse and I think sugar, not to mention the fake cheese, rice with black eyed peas and hoe cake. So no...food isn't going to fix it all. But the damned sugar fed the damned depression in a vicious circle that has been going on for decades. I am finally figuring this shit out. All my life I thought I didn't deserve a life that involved people and fun. People yes..people who expected more out of me than I had and people that I needed to take care of. Relationships? Sure as long as it was just sex. Don't expect much more because you are too fat and ugly for that. But a life where you went places and did things? Nope, not happening. Never been to the Keys though I am a Florida native, have only left Florida 3 or 4 times in my life. You get the picture. And yes, this is whiny and self pitying. Blame the sugar. And screw the sugar. Because you know what? I deserve to have people and fun in my life. I deserve to go kayaking and camping. I deserve to spend a weekend in the Keys if I want to. So screw the sugar and screw the effin' depression. I ain't settlin' no more.
    You know all those things you have always wanted to do? You should go do them.

    Nah.. I was always aware "they" were out to get me.. even before I became Primal..... Now I can just run faster if they find me-Dino Hunter

    Age 46
    height 5'3
    SW 215 lbs
    CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
    LW 172 lbs
    GW 125ish lbs

  4. #14
    phigment's Avatar
    phigment is offline Senior Member
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    Good for you. Kick out that demon name sugar. Such a sweet name for an evil entity.

  5. #15
    valmason01's Avatar
    valmason01 is offline Senior Member
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    THanks!

    Realized I was having a tempter tantrum and forgot to post my weight. It has sadly gone up over the last couple of months. I want to be able to look back and say look what I did in 2013

    SW appx. 215 Jan 2012-removed all processed foods
    SW HCLF moving to Primal 200 April 2012
    LCW 172 around end of Oct 2012
    CW 180 Jan 1 2013
    You know all those things you have always wanted to do? You should go do them.

    Nah.. I was always aware "they" were out to get me.. even before I became Primal..... Now I can just run faster if they find me-Dino Hunter

    Age 46
    height 5'3
    SW 215 lbs
    CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
    LW 172 lbs
    GW 125ish lbs

  6. #16
    valmason01's Avatar
    valmason01 is offline Senior Member
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    Second day into the New Year and did much better. Appx 17 hour IF mainly because I wasn't all that hungry. Ran some errands, was planning to walk for at least some of them and it started raining, not hard but I wasn't sure where it was going. Which got met to thinking about what a wimp I am. So what if I got wet? I wasn't going anywhere I needed to look good. GUess I have to work my way up to that. Wonder if Grok would hide during the rain or just keep on going with his life. My bet would be keep on going.

    Did manage to get to the Farmers Market (sorry you couldn't make it Phigment ) Got some kale, broccoli, green onions, eggs and a bar of raw honey and goat milk soap.

    Made egg cups w/ bacon, kale and cheese for breakfasts the next few days.

    Had a salad with broccoli, kale and cabbage, roasted turkey, raw cheese from TJ's and dressing from TJ's.
    Then had meatloaf, one roasted sweet potato, and stir fried cabbage, kale and broccoli and a few little chunks of apple all in coconut oil. Plus fried some pork ends from TJs as snack. Damn you snacks! At least it wasn't potato chips or corn chips. I gotta beat this snack thing. Prob have some dark chocolate later.

    So overall better but needs improvement.
    You know all those things you have always wanted to do? You should go do them.

    Nah.. I was always aware "they" were out to get me.. even before I became Primal..... Now I can just run faster if they find me-Dino Hunter

    Age 46
    height 5'3
    SW 215 lbs
    CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
    LW 172 lbs
    GW 125ish lbs

  7. #17
    valmason01's Avatar
    valmason01 is offline Senior Member
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    First day back to work after a two week hiatus. The kids did surprisingly well. Better than I did I was very tired. Amazing how quick two weeks can go. The weather is nasty. I did some body weight exercises. I am up to 90 wall push ups! I can graduate to knee push ups. Not ready to move from knee plank yet but almost. My knees are shot but I keep trying for squats. I keep thinking I will strengthen the muscles around them and regain the ability to squat. So far I can only do a partial at appx 10-15 reps. Still haven't bought a pull up bar but getting there. Did walk around school today so I got some movement in. Never enough.

    Food:



    Had a salad with broccoli, kale and cabbage, roasted turkey, raw cheese from TJ's and dressing from TJ's.
    Egg cup w/ bacon, kale and cheese
    left over meatloaf, with roasted cabbage
    4 slices of bacon
    dark cocolate and half a banana
    handful of cashews
    You know all those things you have always wanted to do? You should go do them.

    Nah.. I was always aware "they" were out to get me.. even before I became Primal..... Now I can just run faster if they find me-Dino Hunter

    Age 46
    height 5'3
    SW 215 lbs
    CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
    LW 172 lbs
    GW 125ish lbs

  8. #18
    valmason01's Avatar
    valmason01 is offline Senior Member
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    Tired...I don't know why. But I am exhausted. I think the fibromyalgia is acting up which really really sucks because I am planning to go hiking tomorrow and church Sunday. I refuse to spend the weekend at home alone. That has to change. Life was meant to be lived not observed.

    Also fighting the whole snacky thing. Broke down and bought potato chips...i think i am going to fight the diet coke battle and then fight the snack battle. Maybe that will be easier.

    Food today:
    bacon/egg cup
    salad with broccoli, kale and cabbage, roasted turkey, raw cheese from TJ's and dressing from TJ's.
    ribeye
    one medium small potato
    potato chips
    dark chocolate

    movement..just school..
    You know all those things you have always wanted to do? You should go do them.

    Nah.. I was always aware "they" were out to get me.. even before I became Primal..... Now I can just run faster if they find me-Dino Hunter

    Age 46
    height 5'3
    SW 215 lbs
    CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
    LW 172 lbs
    GW 125ish lbs

  9. #19
    valmason01's Avatar
    valmason01 is offline Senior Member
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    The weekend was not what I had planned. I overslept yesterday and missed the hike. Ended up sleeping until almost 1:30 and doing very little all day. Did manage to make it to church today, albeit late. I ate chips again last night and my head immediately stuffed up. I got that horrible vertigo that makes it hard to even move without feeling nauseaus. It finally clicked that it was the oils (canola/seed/veggies) that was causing it. I am going with that theory and see what happens. Starting to check my blood glucose numbers again. Scaled showed a two pound loss yesterday! No idea if it will stay but it helped!
    You know all those things you have always wanted to do? You should go do them.

    Nah.. I was always aware "they" were out to get me.. even before I became Primal..... Now I can just run faster if they find me-Dino Hunter

    Age 46
    height 5'3
    SW 215 lbs
    CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
    LW 172 lbs
    GW 125ish lbs

  10. #20
    valmason01's Avatar
    valmason01 is offline Senior Member
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    Aug 2012
    Location
    Gainesville, Fl
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    834
    I come home and my brain shuts off. I just can't even convince myself to write. I hope as time goes on that changes.

    So far this week I have had coffee with coconut oil for breakfast, my BAS for lunch, and sausage and cabbage or sweet potatoes for supper. Tonight I am going to have hamburger patties and sweet potatoes for supper. Bacon and dark chocolate for supper. Some movement. Walking around school and body weight routine. My life is very dull
    You know all those things you have always wanted to do? You should go do them.

    Nah.. I was always aware "they" were out to get me.. even before I became Primal..... Now I can just run faster if they find me-Dino Hunter

    Age 46
    height 5'3
    SW 215 lbs
    CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
    LW 172 lbs
    GW 125ish lbs

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