My name is Jon and I'm 34 years old and weigh 380 pounds. I live my life at a relatively young age petrified that any day can be my last. That fear is a bit melodramatic because though diabetic I'm moderately okay - blood sugar is relatively sane and I can complete a CrossFit class, however modified, and not die. So I likely won't drop dead today. But nonetheless I'm petrified.
I've done some reading on paleo as a result of starting CrossFit 3 months ago. I purchased PB this morning and am a barely a few pages in.
I'm very confident that primal living is what I need to be doing. I'm desperately seeking the confidence that firstly I can do this. Every other attempt at lifestyle change has failed at a cost of an additional 20-50 pounds. I sincerely lack the faith in myself to see this through. Secondly I need to believe that it's not too late. That intense fear clouds every decision I make. The feeling that I need to give up and get stapled or just have myself committee weighs on me almost more than my excess fat.
I apologize for rambling. I'm ordinarily a very composed guy with a highly responsible job and opening up like this isn't natural for me but I need a community and I'm hoping I found the right place.