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Thread: Primal v. Modern Parenting page

  1. #1
    NowhereMan's Avatar
    NowhereMan is offline Senior Member
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    Primal v. Modern Parenting

    Primal Fuel
    I thought this was an interesting comparison of how hunter-gatherer and modern western societies raise children. Personally, I think tribal life sounds more wholesome and just appealing on some basic level (although certainly more difficult and uncomfortable). Thoughts? Especially from current/future parents?

    Best Practices for Raising Kids? Look to Hunter-Gatherers - Newsweek and The Daily Beast

  2. #2
    RichMahogany's Avatar
    RichMahogany is offline Senior Member
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    The best book I ever read on the subject is The Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff. I wholeheartedly recommend it for parents and non-parents alike.

  3. #3
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    We also read the Continuum Concept and have it here in our offices for clients to read. It's like eating cardboard sometimes, but it's a *great* book.

    We do and did a lot of "primitive" things -- cosleeping (in the same bed/bed-sharing is another name-- still do and hte kid is 4), elimination communication (going in the toilet even at infancy, rather than a diaper), babywearing (no stroller), and discipline without rewards/punishments. "tribal" is the harder part, because not everyone agrees, etc, but if you can find some like-minded folks, then there's a sense of cohesion in the process.

    Thankfully, steiner education follows a nonpunishment/rewards (no grades, etc) process, so it's a good integration with our family life. And, we can go all the way up through high school in steiner education here, so that's awesome.

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    LauraSB's Avatar
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    We did a lot of primal stuff, I guess, cosleeping, baby wearing, non-punitive discipline. At the time we just thought we were slackers who were way too in love with our kids. I don't remember thinking it was hard. It seemed easier, hence the slacker thoughts. The kids don't seem to be ruined. Teachers, coaches and bosses *love* them, even tho DH and I find/found them to be sometimes a PITA as teenagers.

    Modern parenting seems exhausting to me. I hear babies in strollers screaming and I just want to pick the poor little thing up. Most cranky babies are so easy to coax into a better mood if you will just Pick.Them.Up. Please!

    The tribal part we never had. DH and I joked that some sort of commune arrangement would have been ideal, but finding another like-minded couple or two to share a house with seemed like an impossible dream. Too late for us now. We have told the kids though, that once we're retired, we will be happy to work something out with them and their families. I think our own parents missed out on a beautiful opportunity.
    50yo, 5'3"
    SW-195
    CW-125, part calorie counting, part transition to primal
    GW- Goals are no longer weight-related

  5. #5
    Crabbcakes's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=LauraSB;1036767]We did a lot of primal stuff, I guess, cosleeping, baby wearing, non-punitive discipline. At the time we just thought we were slackers who were way too in love with our kids. I don't remember thinking it was hard. It seemed easier, hence the slacker thoughts. The kids don't seem to be ruined. Teachers, coaches and bosses *love* them, even tho DH and I find/found them to be sometimes a PITA as teenagers.QUOTE]

    Same, here, almost exactly!

    My four are 9, 12, 14, and almost-16 currently. Discipline is a "natural consequences" kind of thing, but never "punitive". For ex.: once, my youngest hit her next-older sister and left a bump. Her "punishment" - to sit beside the couch in the living room and hold an ice pack on her older sister's bump until it subsided, with no sass and no breaks, AND to have to watch whatever that injured sister wanted to watch on video as a distraction. You have to know that the injured sister is a special-needs kid and at 12 is still in love with Dora the Explorer and watches the same episode repeatedly... But I think this is entirely appropriate because it simply accurately addressed remediating the thing that my youngest had caused. I never yelled or anything. But I did double-check with my youngest, just in case there was a self-defense thing happening, as my special-needs kid used to be a hitter as a very young child; in this particular case, not.

    I tell my oldest that the reason she is so damn happy is because she was the Most Kissed Baby in the World, and I really mean it. I did use strollers, though. I had four kids in six years, and even though I did use a backpack and all, carrying TWO, one in front and one in back, makes grocery shopping HARD. And when you have a special-needs kid with a coordination disorder on top of developmental disabilities, sometimes you just do what you have to do to keep them safe (and with you) in public spaces.

    As far as dangerous things like fire: I let them have at it as soon as I believe they are physically and behaviorally ready to control themselves. Like knives - my special-needs, bad-coordination kid gets plastic lettuce knives and adaptive (contained) choppers. The oldest two have been professional chef-knife safe for several years now, the youngest is coming along nicely (graduating up from serrated grapefruit knives and paring knives and the like). My SIL FREAKS OUT when she sees my kids with sharp knives, but mine almost never have accidents with them, or do stupid stuff, seriously. A combo of developmental readiness, good skills teaching, and calm attitude (on the parental part) does the trick with almost everything.

    Well, that and knowing that you won't be at the evening's fire at our firepit if you swing any burning sticks around such that you fling glowing embers into our woods... (natural consequences - we have wooded acreage all around our house) If you can control yourself in that way, then you get to play with the fire.

    I have never read that Continuum book - I'll have to look it up.

  6. #6
    Leida's Avatar
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    I am kindda not into having half-dozen kids to make sure a couple would survive past age 3.... I have one and only, so I'd go with modern approach.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  7. #7
    Earthy Mama's Avatar
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    Extended nursing, co-sleeping (still at 6 and 3), respond to crying, no physical punishment, baby wear, homebirthing... I try to do things as natural as possible. Follow the attachment parenting philosophy.

    As far as "dangerous" things go... I have high anxiety about freak accidents happening so I am a helicopter mom in that aspect but I do keep a pair of scissors at the table with paper/glue/crayons for free use.
    Earthy Mama's Journal




    "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food" ~ Hippocrates

  8. #8
    zoebird's Avatar
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    Nothing in the article spoke against family planning, btw. And we only have one, but did things the primal way. Which is why he's so ridiculously happy all the time.

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