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Thread: When making friends do you prefer quality or quantity? page 5

  1. #41
    valmason01's Avatar
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    ......and I am thrilled that You - Valmason are heading out with a Phigment - cos i think that this will be a fantastic beginning in your friendship journey.
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  2. #42
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    I had a Facebook account for less than a week before I deleted it. I only signed up to see what all the fuss was about, but after I started receiving friend requests from random high school folks that I never really liked anyway, it was gone. I'm a classic introvert and sometimes I wish I weren't... but oh well. I've got fewer than six really close friends that I stay in touch with regularly, and even some of those I only hear from on a yearly basis. The rest are just acquaintances.

  3. #43
    Nady's Avatar
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    I'm not an introvert, but a dedicated loner. Oh I can be the life of the party~ keep the laughs coming, witty conversation. But I really never let others (except hubby) 'inside'. I'm happiest in my garden, where the only sounds are from nature. Long standing rule, no chit chat when I'm playing in the dirt.

    Finding a 'true' friend is difficult for me~ seems they always want/need something and I'm happy to help~ but when it's my turn, huh, where is everybody? I do better by myself.

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by sakura_girl View Post
    Both.

    I'm a businessperson/entrepreneur by heart, and with that, I'd like to have access to a large network of people. Doesn't mean I have to be close to them; I just prefer to have all of them as friends, with resources I, or someone else in my network, can tap into.

    Then I have a few really good friends with whom I can describe as "quality" friends. People who I can trust to slap me in the face when I need it, who I can enjoy my time with, and who I can be a support network with.
    This.

    I'm an introvert at heart (not antisocial, just "selectively social") and I have no problem spending time with myself. I don't get bored easily, and I don't need other people to entertain me or relieve my boredom.

    I'm thankful that a handful of really close friendships have evolved as a result of my business (which is event-based and very social) and I now have many acquaintances with whom I am friendly, but my circle of friends has widened only slightly. I find managing too many relationships at once to be exhausting. My job requires me to be social, gracious, witty, accommodating for a day or a weekend, and then I require double the amount of time to recover from it!
    Sandra
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  5. #45
    Urban Forager's Avatar
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    I like small doses of quality friends.

    I know what you mean Nady, it seems very rare when my friends will come through for me. They do live busier lives than I do but still, it would be nice if they made the effort. Partly it's my fault, I'm not that good at asking for help and a bit too understanding when they tell me how busy and over worked they are.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nady View Post
    Finding a 'true' friend is difficult for me~ seems they always want/need something and I'm happy to help~ but when it's my turn, huh, where is everybody? I do better by myself.
    So often true
    You know all those pictures of Adam and Eve where they have belly button? Think about it..................... take as long as you need........................

  7. #47
    NZ primal Gwamma's Avatar
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    okay so here is an interesting one, and I know that this thread hasn't been created for this - but ....... I have had this friend for 28/29 years. We don't catch up heaps now that I have moved 1 1/2 hours away, but we still ring every two weeks or so. About 6 months ago....long story....but her husband was caught red handed!!!!!! He was doing the massage palour thing and was being "satisfied" by the ladies. She found phone numbers which led to credit card details....yadda yadda ya.
    Anyway I was the confidant. So our relationship went from strength to strength. I had her back, as it were and took her away to the north Island for a week, took her to Aussie for a week....however as the weeks went by I began to remember all the good times over the years....and began to think of him as a fraud. I didn't let on to my friend, but became increasingly disgusted, angry, sad, etc... over what he had done to her. (he doesn't know that I know) Anyway here is the thing....she has stayed with him (for the childrens sake - 25,23 and 18), which I can sort of understand - but now she has no time for me, and has been picking at me for stupid little things. Its almost as if she has forgiven him, but needs someone to dump on - and I am it ???????
    I don't dump on my friends, because I don't believe that is the role that we play - and when I mean dump on, I don't mean share daily life stories, I mean nag and grizzle the other one for trivial misdemeanours?
    My initial reaction is to step back, I don't need someone elses shit in my life. If I have done something bad then yes I will suffer the consequences, but I think she is defering her hurt, anger etc...
    We have so much history, and I will always be there for this woman, but nagging and bitching at me? How do I deal with this one? thoughts please
    "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

    ...small steps....

  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by NZ primal Gwamma View Post
    okay so here is an interesting one, and I know that this thread hasn't been created for this - but ....... I have had this friend for 28/29 years. We don't catch up heaps now that I have moved 1 1/2 hours away, but we still ring every two weeks or so. About 6 months ago....long story....but her husband was caught red handed!!!!!! He was doing the massage palour thing and was being "satisfied" by the ladies. She found phone numbers which led to credit card details....yadda yadda ya.
    Anyway I was the confidant. So our relationship went from strength to strength. I had her back, as it were and took her away to the north Island for a week, took her to Aussie for a week....however as the weeks went by I began to remember all the good times over the years....and began to think of him as a fraud. I didn't let on to my friend, but became increasingly disgusted, angry, sad, etc... over what he had done to her. (he doesn't know that I know) Anyway here is the thing....she has stayed with him (for the childrens sake - 25,23 and 18), which I can sort of understand - but now she has no time for me, and has been picking at me for stupid little things. Its almost as if she has forgiven him, but needs someone to dump on - and I am it ???????
    I don't dump on my friends, because I don't believe that is the role that we play - and when I mean dump on, I don't mean share daily life stories, I mean nag and grizzle the other one for trivial misdemeanours?
    My initial reaction is to step back, I don't need someone elses shit in my life. If I have done something bad then yes I will suffer the consequences, but I think she is defering her hurt, anger etc...
    We have so much history, and I will always be there for this woman, but nagging and bitching at me? How do I deal with this one? thoughts please
    If you were the only one she told, then you might be a reminder of a very painful period of her life. It's hard to get over things and move on when the *keeper of your secrets* is there too.

  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nady View Post
    If you were the only one she told, then you might be a reminder of a very painful period of her life. It's hard to get over things and move on when the *keeper of your secrets* is there too.
    That's what I was thinking, a little break might be in order so she has time to move on.

  10. #50
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    Thanx guys, actually that is what I have done. Stepped right back. I am one of two "keepers of the secret", but the other friend actively dis's the husband, whereas I don't - well not out loud !!!!!!
    "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

    ...small steps....

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