Just need to vent...mum's an RD and has been lecturing me page

[kaoticturtle]

My husband and I are currently living with my parents for 3 weeks over Christmas as we are in the process of emigrating to Australia and needed a place to stay after shipping all of our things. Its the longest we have spent with them since becoming primal around 18 months ago and the first time they have really realised how we eat now.

The big problem is that my mum is a registered dietitian and both of he and my dad are fully bought into CW. Its made even worse by the fact that mum doesn't work clinically, she actually leads a university dietetics department, leads research and teaches new RDs. They are both also overweight and constantly "trying to be good".

We've only been here a week and already we are getting constant comments every time we cook. Mum even gave me a full on lecture last night about how saturated fat is bad and that we are eating far too much animal protein. She can't believe that we use coconut oil and drink coconut milk and asked "do you realise how much saturated fat is in them?". I don't think she was particularly impressed when I responded yes, that's why we cook with them!!!

She's also estimated that we're getting around 30% of our calories from meat and that a normal person only gets 10%-13% so we must be excreting all the protein in our urine and we must have very acidic bodies. She also thinks that we're going to kill ourselves through over consumption of red meat. It's not even like we're eating red meat at every meal, we also eat a lot of fish, eggs and chicken and a huge amount of veggies! But more than once or twice a week and more than a tiny amount is too much in her eyes. My dad even commented when we had steaks one night (a good size and really tasty rib eye but not exactly huge - probably 10-12oz) that we were having our weeks allowance of red meat in one go...

Another thing she had a go at me for was a lack of carbohydrates. We actually eat a fair amount of carbs as we eat sweet potatoes a couple of times a week, plus quite a lot of pumpkin and lots of root veg and greens. So all of the carb sources that we eat are also good nutritionally and we eat very few empty calories. But she is convinced that we must be lacking in nutrients as we have cut out cereals (apparently its the b vitamins that I will be missing...). Apparently all the veg, meat and liver than we eat won't make up for it...

It's like hitting my head against a brick wall. When she was lecturing me last night I tried to answer some of her points but she just won't listen to me. She says that she is the one with the training and what can I know? She has completely dismissed the many hours of reading and researching that I have done over the past 18 months and wouldn't even discuss any points that I tried to make.

At the moment I'm trying to pull together some journal articles which lend evidence to back up a primal way of eating. I'm hoping that if I send those through to her she will at least lay off me a bit and accept that I have done some research and not just relied on other peoples blogs. If I send any blog posts she will just dismiss them as being biased, incorrect and not backed up by "evidence based research". Unfortunately, her examples of evidence based research are epidemiology studies - she wasn't particularly interested in my arguments that epidemiology studies only provide correlation information not causation.

The really annoying thing that my husband and I have been commenting on is that if we ate the same way they did, low fat everything with lots of chocolate biscuits, snacks because they are hungry, deserts and wine they wouldn't bat an eye-lid even if we were buying lots of convenience foods and sweets to pad it out. We're now eating incredibly healthily with virtually no alcohol, no added sugar, lots of fresh produce and no convenience food plus we've both lost weight and look much healthier yet they feel they need to lecture us.

Anyway, if you've made it this far then good on you! I'm feeling better for having a bit of a rant

[primalrob]

that's got to be tough.

i wouldn't bother with the articles and blogs and even the research; your mom won't believe any of it. and, if both your parents are overweight and unhealthy, they will point to the differences in your age for the reason.
it's too bad you have to deal with that...how much longer?
the only way i could think to start changing their minds is to compare test results. you may not be any healthier than anyone else by the numbers (blood test result interpretations favor CW), but you can show that it's a healthy way of living.

[Chaohinon]

This is kind of like having that uncle that always has to argue politics at you. It's best just to avoid the bait altogether.

Besides, it's no one's business what you guys want to eat day to day, healthy or not. You're adults with your own incomes and you can live on nothing but mac & cheese and haagen dasz if you want to.

[peril]

Frankly, I'd tell them that I wouldn't take medical advice from an unhealthy doctor so why should you take nutritional advice from them. Tell them to look up "cognitive dissonance"

[LJH]

You're healthy, they're not, plus they're overweight. So obviously you're wrong and they have the solution. OK, makes sense to me.

Honestly, I think you're wasting your time trying to convince them, sad as that is.

[fifer]

You could try responding simply with "It's Christmas! If I can't indulge a wee bit now then when can I?"

[Earthy Mama]

Oh.... yea.... that's like my sister and I with most things health-related.

Sorry, hang in there!!!! ♥

[Damiana]

This might get you disowned from the family but just tell her, well if it works so well, why are you still fat?

[Miss Understood]

You're not going to be at home much longer so just smile and mumble pleasantries and ignore the advice. In a few years as current research debunks the old low fat myths and supports our type of eating you'll look like geniuses. More and more the high carb low fat way of eating, especially with tons of grain and sugar, is being recognized as a cause of obesity, diabetes and other health problems.

[jfreaksho]

I doubt that research and journals are going to help. Neither is arguing. My best option would be something like, "Mom, I don't want to fight about this, but I don't want to hear about it either. I don't think I can change you, but I know you won't change my mind. We can enjoy the rest of our time together, or you can continue to lecture me about it, but either way, I am not changing and not arguing any more."