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Thread: Just need to vent...mum's an RD and has been lecturing me

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Appalachian Ohio
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    I COMPLETELY feel for you! My in-laws have dozens of health complaints between them, but the one that causes the most trouble for me at family gatherings is my FIL's heart disease. He is a True Believer of that heart-healthy CW diet stuff and I always get the Father In-Law's Stare of Death when I let the kids eat full fat, skin-on-the-chicken/fat-on-the-steak and all that lovely Primal Stuff and eschew the bread and low-fat margarine junk.

    I have an ace up my sleeve though, because my in-laws do not step outside in the morning without some doctor's permission, and my special-needs daughter actually has a nutritionist at one of the US's best hospitals follow her growth... I put her on the SCD (which is a Crohn's/Ulcerative Colitis diet) seven years ago and one of her docs requested that we just run her foods through the program(s) that the nutritionist has. Because I really respect that doc (and we work well together) I said OK. We go about every 18 months. I make a food log of everything that passes my daughter's lips for a week and then turn it in for an analysis. In all these food logs, the only thing the nutritionist has ever seen fit to tell me is that she would "feel better" if I gave my daughter a calcium and a multi. Nothing more.

    The SCD is very close to the Primal. So - I have seven years' worth of "approval" from the Pediatric Nutrition section of the Cleveland Clinic that a high-fat, higher-protein, low-carb, no-grain/no-bean/no-added sugar, clean diet grows kids well!

    But back to your problem... your mom is wrong on so many levels, but you won't be able to convince her. She teaches that CW bullshit for crap-sakes! Do your best to call a truce to the food talk (yours and hers) until you leave, and dream of roasted wallaby or somesuch in your new home country.

    And come back to rant again if you need us - having a mum in a position such as hers is a nightmare for Primal folks such as yourselves!!!

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Santa Barbara
    Here are some useful research papers if you decide to go that route. I think what they are doing, preaching like that right in your face, is really rude.
    Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

  3. #13
    She wants the best for you, and you will always only be her kid...

    Thats the rub, a constant unintentional condescension about your opinions, but she means nice.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Ontario, Canada
    I'm an RD, but in Canada. And not a research chair at a university, just a run of the mill RD working in long term care. But I was very affected by reading Good Calories, Bad Calories and you might recommend it to your mom. I trained at the height of the low fat revolution, in the early 80's and it has taken me a while to reverse my thinking about the "evil" fats.

    Your mom loves you and just wants the best for you, but I bet it's still hard. I have a son who would likely benefit greatly from eating primal, but he and his fiance are very CW, and they shudder to see me eating and cooking with so much saturated fat. And I'm the RD! He's had a rash on his cheeks since he was a year old - bet it would disappear if he ditched grains. But he's a science major and believes in "evidence". It's the old "You can lead a horse to water..." argument.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Ahh very difficult... Unfortunately your mum has been well and truly brainwashed and it's pretty hard to get past that! If she was to admit YOU were right, then she'd have to admit that SHE'S wrong and has been for years and years, AND what she's teaching is wrong! That's a tough thing to do. It's sometimes easier to stick one's head in the sand and say "LA LA LA" than to actually listen to the truth (because if you see enough evidence you might start believing it... and then where would it get you?!).

    I have to say, however, that here are a bunch of future dietitians all being taught by someone who is clearly overweight. You'd think that after awhile people would HAVE to start questioning that! I mean someone who is trying to teach others to eat "right" sort of needs to look the part... and yet while following CW it's almost impossible for some people to maintain a healthy weight!

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    New Zealand
    Quote Originally Posted by Iron Fireling View Post
    while following CW it's almost impossible for some people to maintain a healthy weight!
    I realise that now! more than 20 years of trying oh so hard to do the right thing and it JUSt. DIDN't. WORK.

    I wish I could help point my own parents in the direction of primal, but if they don't see the need (which is staring us all in the face), I don't know where to begin.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Pittsburgh, PA
    I agree with primal rob.

    Don't bother with articles. Just go "it's not up for discussion anymore" and leave it at that.

    Also, congrats on moving to OZ. we made the move from the US to NZ and it's been awesome for us!

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    North Queensland
    "I'm an adult now and I'll eat what I want to eat"

    will suffice.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    New Jersey
    This is awesome, made me chuckle!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by fifer View Post
    You could try responding simply with "It's Christmas! If I can't indulge a wee bit now then when can I?"

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Sydney, Australia
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    Thank you so much for your comments. My husband and I have just been reading through them and definitely feel better for all the support. We've agreed that sending research papers through is probably not going to help things, is just a bit too close to "feeding the troll" and will probably just end up prolonging any argument and making it worse. However, the few hours I spent last night rereading lots of blog posts on MDA and following up the journal articles has certainly help emphasise to me that we are doing the right thing and the formal research is starting to back us all up.

    I think the advice from jfreaksho is likely to work best and will probably be what I go with when I get the next lecture - we can already feel it building again...

    Quote Originally Posted by jfreaksho View Post
    I doubt that research and journals are going to help. Neither is arguing. My best option would be something like, "Mom, I don't want to fight about this, but I don't want to hear about it either. I don't think I can change you, but I know you won't change my mind. We can enjoy the rest of our time together, or you can continue to lecture me about it, but either way, I am not changing and not arguing any more."

    Again, thanks everyone

    Sugar is my nicotine...

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