Every time I read one of these success stories, where going primal worked like magic for someone else, I just want to shoot myself. How come it's not working like magic for me? Why can't I just cut the carbs and magically shed all that excess body fat? I'm fit, I work out, I'm healthy, I never eat wheat, rarely eat other grains, except rice occasionally. WHY can't I lose the freaking muffin top? AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, sorry for the whining. This is my Friday afternoon self-pity session. Back to work, back to work...