Love page 2

[Paleobird]

Yep, I consider mine to have been a what-the-heck-was-I-thinking? marriage and a very successful divorce.

[geostump]

Being that I have been married for 15 years, I can definitely say love does evolve. No marriage will not have its rough spots(nor any relationship for that matter). You do lose that head over heels feeling(aka the honeymoon stage) but love can evolve into being more of a friendly/romantic type of love. I'm not the type of chick that likes a lot of attention, flowers, chocolate, being babied, etc. You can also feel lustful towards others and still love the one you're with. I think that is just human nature. If anyone(not my husband) can tell me that they don't find others attractive, you're smoking crack. I love the fact that I can turn my mate on with just a smile and he can do the same for me with a funny text. Everyone is different when it comes to love however.

[Uncephalized]

I do think romantic love is built into us and it's a natural human emotion (or rather, set of emotions). Lifelong society-enforced monogamy is obviously a cultural addition to that, though.

As far as monogamy of the shorter-lived variety, some kind of husband-wife relationship seems to be a common thread in most if not all human societies, presumably because that reflects some innate human tendency. Which makes sense given our extremely long childhoods and the amount of parental investment necessary to raise a person to maturity--both parents stand a better chance of their offspring "making it" if they stick around in a stable family.

[qqemokitty]

I've tried polyamory/open relationship and it didn't work for me, but I definitely have loved more than one person romantically at the same time in the past. The problem is I am really good at focusing my energies on ONE person which makes me a great lover, but I can't be good at 2 relationships at once so I suck at poly. :P

I believe in love, and I believe in "soul mates" in more than just the romantic way. I believe there are certain people put on this earth by the universe to be loved by me, and to love me in return. My cousin is one of them, I call her the sister of my heart. My boyfriend is another... I feel more in tune with him than any of my relationships past. I truly believe that I was put on the planet to love him. He was made for me, too. I can't say for 100% sure it will last forever, but with hard work, open honesty, and plenty of self awareness, forever seems pretty darn likely.

[RichMahogany]

I do think romantic love is built into us and it's a natural human emotion (or rather, set of emotions). Lifelong society-enforced monogamy is obviously a cultural addition to that, though.

As far as monogamy of the shorter-lived variety, some kind of husband-wife relationship seems to be a common thread in most if not all human societies, presumably because that reflects some innate human tendency. Which makes sense given our extremely long childhoods and the amount of parental investment necessary to raise a person to maturity--both parents stand a better chance of their offspring "making it" if they stick around in a stable family.

This. Evolutionary Construct. No Ghost-in-the-machine required.

[LauraSB]

Being that I have been married for 15 years, I can definitely say love does evolve. No marriage will not have its rough spots(nor any relationship for that matter). You do lose that head over heels feeling(aka the honeymoon stage) but love can evolve into being more of a friendly/romantic type of love.

It keeps on evolving. Or it does if you're invested in it, I guess. After 25 yrs we are back to the honeymoon - only it's better. Knowing that you've made it through things that could have permanently driven you apart, things that have destroyed other marriages and you've come out on the other side, gives the relationship an intensity and complexity that we could not even have imagined 20 years ago. I wonder if 25 years from now we will look back and think we had no idea how good it could get only 25 years in.

[JoanieL]

Married twice and three cohabitations - of course I believe in love! And all except the first marriage lasted longer than seven years.

I think that monogamy makes sense in younger people more than older ones. More specifically child-bearing age vs past it. For me, it seems clear that both parents would want to bond with each and their children to keep the children safe. I think Grok would have needed to even more than modern man because if he wanted his children to grow to be adults, he'd need to stay close.

Serial monogamy works for me. The one time in my life when I had affection for two men at the same time, it drove me batshit, and I never wanted to repeat it.

I've had promiscuous periods in my life, but mostly because you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the perfect prince.

[brighthorse]

I didn't feel at all ashamed about getting divorced (no religious pressures either). I did feel a bit foolish for ever having gotten married in the first place. It was like the marriage was the stupid thing I did, the divorce was just the smart thing to do to correct my mistake.

I couldn't have said it better myself. I am seperated from my wife right now. I am just trying to fix a mistake. I will be taking a break from relationships for awhile. I think being alone sounds pretty good!