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Thread: Any primal non-christians here?

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  1. #1
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    Any primal non-christians here?

    Not long ago my girlfriend said she couldn't see herself marrying me because I'm not a christian. This really hurt me because she knew I wasn't christian from the beginning and it never bothered her. I don't know what I believe and I'm not very religious right now. Are there any good morale, non-christian women out there? I'm going through some tough times and I need some re-assurance I'm not crazy for believing what I believe. And that there is some hope out there for me.

    Thanks,
    Chris

    Edit:
    I was a very devout christian until last year. I stepped away from the church, because I no longer trust that the faith is perfect/correct. I do understand the faith deeply and respect the core morals of the church. It's not like I am shunning her for her faith. I love the church, I just don't believe. So what is the point in going?
    Last edited by cruncan; 12-03-2012 at 06:52 AM.

  2. #2
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    Not Christian or part of any major faith/ religion. Closest I come is a cross between pagan, Buddhist, and agnostic. My husband is the same way, without the pagan aspect. As engineers with a very scientific/ logical outlook, religion just didn't work for either of us.
    You'll find someone who loves you for you and respects your faith (or lack thereof.) If you really want them to have your faith (or lack thereof), there are dating sites for most of the faiths and nonfaiths. Otherwise, have faith (heh) that there are women like you out there. Patience. Give yourself permission to get beyond this pain before jumping into the next relationship.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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  3. #3
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    It's my impression that christians are a minority on this board. Maybe that's just me.

    Hang in there.
    Disclaimer: I eat 'meat and vegetables' ala Primal, although I don't agree with the carb curve. I like Perfect Health Diet and WAPF Lactofermentation a lot.

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  4. #4
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    Unwashed heathen here.

    I don't think morality/good character and religion have anything to do with one another. There are very moral and very immoral people who are both christian and non christian.

    Sounds to me like your gf is looking for a "way out" of the relationship. I'm sorry that your feelings are getting hurt in the process.
    Also your religious differences may have been something that didn't seem like that big a deal when it was new and all about the hormones. Then when she is considering you as the potential father of her children, her priorities started to shift.

    Frankly, while I respect any person's right to believe whatever they want, I could never see getting serious with someone who believed in christianity as a fundamentalist literal interpretation (6000 yr old earth, virgins having babies, dead bodies that get up and walk). Someone who understood those stories as parables and cultural mythology might have an open enough mind for me.

    You might want to have a talk with the gf and see if you can find some common ground in between. Or you might want ot move on and find yourself a nice young atheist girl.

    I highly recommend the Unitarian Universalist Church for someone who would like the community aspect of religion but without the dogma. This may be what your gf needs. Ask.

  5. #5
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    Also your religious differences may have been something that didn't seem like that big a deal when it was new and all about the hormones. Then when she is considering you as the potential father of her children, her priorities started to shift.
    Right on. She said she wants her children to be raised in church.

    Frankly, while I respect any person's right to believe whatever they want, I could never see getting serious with someone who believed in christianity as a fundamentalist literal interpretation (6000 yr old earth, virgins having babies, dead bodies that get up and walk). Someone who understood those stories as parables and cultural mythology might have an open enough mind for me.
    We believe about the same! I wrote a long paper about all of these impossible/contradicting ideas along time ago. I actually sent my paper to her to read. She is the type Christian that believes in God, but doesn't go to church, and she believes in the bible, but has rarely read it enough to educate herself in it. I attribute her ignorance to being uneducated in Christianity. It's like having faith and being scared to see if its real or not. I grew up a big christian and until last year I was a HUUGEE christian. The "closer i got to god, the more I read the bible, and then the more I discovered and started questioning. My questioning led to more research to confirm my hunch that I was worshipping a Bible that I could no longer trust. Well now I'm not Christian and in this Bull ish lol

    You might want to have a talk with the gf and see if you can find some common ground in between. Or you might want ot move on and find yourself a nice young atheist girl.
    I think I'm going to move on, unless she changes her mind.

    I highly recommend the Unitarian Universalist Church for someone who would like the community aspect of religion but without the dogma. This may be what your gf needs. Ask.[/QUOTE]
    I live in Alabama and I bet there aren't any of those around here LOL If you know where I'm coming from. I am intrigued by this church though. Interesting. Thanks Paleo bird!

  6. #6
    Paleobird's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cruncan View Post
    I highly recommend the Unitarian Universalist Church for someone who would like the community aspect of religion but without the dogma. This may be what your gf needs. Ask.
    I live in Alabama and I bet there aren't any of those around here LOL If you know where I'm coming from. I am intrigued by this church though. Interesting. Thanks Paleo bird!
    This will help you locate one in your area. UUA: Find a Congregation I'm not sure where Livingston is but there are several in Alabama. You can do a search by zip code.

    There are people at the UU churches who are christians, atheist, jews, buddhists, muslims, humanists, wiccans and whatever else. Everybody gets along and works together. Those who are Christian tend to be more like Knifegill, open to and understanding of science while not having any conflict between that and their spiritual beliefs because they are not believing in fairy tales on a literal basis. There is no one set of "thou shalt believe this" dogma or else get out in a UU congregation.

    I think you might fit in really well there. Perhaps it might even be a common ground that you and the gf could both agree on. Enough of a "church" for her but open minded enough for you.
    Last edited by Paleobird; 11-28-2012 at 09:25 PM.

  7. #7
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    Mostly rich people who have never needed faith, so probably MOST.

    Maybe she's trying to force you into believing so her family will be more accepting. Tell her "No." She should take you as you are, as she always has.

    I believe in Jesus, but I DON'T watch Fox News or vote republican. I believe in the Jesus who shared wealth and healed the hurting - you know, the one in the Bible! The modern church makes me ashamed of the Gospel. Greedy jerks with oppressive mentalities and political agendas half the time. I say I'm a Christian and instantly you (might) assume a lot of things. But I've been through enough hard times to see what it is. People are real. Everybody has the right to speak, and even if I think Jesus is the only way to heaven, I get it - you don't, and that's fine. We're grown-ups, here. I believe God made evolution, and guided it however he wanted whenever he wanted. The Bible even seems to somewhat mirror the migration of man out of Africa. Seriously, read the first two books of the Bible and start asking yourself which tribe went where and which people they became. And who did Adam and Eve's kids marry? Probably Neanderthals, even if not until Esau and Jacob.

    Anyway, GO SCIENCE! And GO JESUS! And everywhere they intersect, I'm glad.

    My wife and I have VERY similar belief systems! Liberal, scientific, and faith blended. It works well for us! But having different faiths would be tricky, I'd think. Plan wisely. I'd say "Pray about it" but maybe a good list of pros and cons is more in order.
    Last edited by Knifegill; 11-28-2012 at 01:18 PM.
    Steak, eggs, potatoes - fruits, nuts, berries and forage. Coconut milk and potent herbs and spices. Tea instead of coffee now and teeny amounts of kelp daily. Let's see how this does! Not really had dairy much, and gut seems better for it.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Knifegill View Post
    I believe in Jesus, but I DON'T watch Fox News or vote republican. I believe in the Jesus who shared wealth and healed the hurting - you know, the one in the Bible! The modern church makes me ashamed of the Gospel.
    ...
    Anyway, GO SCIENCE! And GO JESUS! And everywhere they intersect, I'm glad.
    Woo! Chiming in to agree. That being said, most of my friends are agnostic or atheist or just don't care enough to even think about it. I couldn't be in a relationship with them, but we're still close friends.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Knifegill View Post
    Mostly rich people who have never needed faith, so probably MOST.

    Maybe she's trying to force you into believing so her family will be more accepting. Tell her "No." She should take you as you are, as she always has.

    I believe in Jesus, but I DON'T watch Fox News or vote republican. I believe in the Jesus who shared wealth and healed the hurting - you know, the one in the Bible! The modern church makes me ashamed of the Gospel. Greedy jerks with oppressive mentalities and political agendas half the time. I say I'm a Christian and instantly you (might) assume a lot of things. But I've been through enough hard times to see what it is. People are real. Everybody has the right to speak, and even if I think Jesus is the only way to heaven, I get it - you don't, and that's fine. We're grown-ups, here. I believe God made evolution, and guided it however he wanted whenever he wanted. The Bible even seems to somewhat mirror the migration of man out of Africa. Seriously, read the first two books of the Bible and start asking yourself which tribe went where and which people they became. And who did Adam and Eve's kids marry? Probably Neanderthals, even if not until Esau and Jacob.

    Anyway, GO SCIENCE! And GO JESUS! And everywhere they intersect, I'm glad.

    My wife and I have VERY similar belief systems! Liberal, scientific, and faith blended. It works well for us! But having different faiths would be tricky, I'd think. Plan wisely. I'd say "Pray about it" but maybe a good list of pros and cons is more in order.
    +1 Love this! :-)

  10. #10
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    I'm an atheist. I guess I can see where your girlfriend is coming from. If I started dating someone who came from a religious family and marrying them would require switching to their religion, I would have a lot of second thoughts and likely bail in the end. People get pretty weird about their beliefs and for some, their entire lifestyle revolves around their religion, and religion is likely to become a big problem when it comes to raising children and the like. Definitely not for me. Met my last two boyfriends online and both times, I limited my search to "agnostic or atheist," because I just didn't want to deal with that.

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